I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Roses, dahlias, begonias, and azaleas are a
few of the flowers that fill our world with beauty, color
and fragrance. There are many flowers on earth and it
may be impossible to name them all. They come in all
colors, sizes, shapes and scents. Just as the earth
produces flowers of all varieties, the universe produces us in
all different varieties. We each have our own beauty
that is not to be compared to another's. We all are a
part of Universe's precious garden.

YOU are a beautiful flower in Universe's garden. YOU are
radiant with beautiful color. YOU have a special
fragrance in which to delight the world. YOU bless others
with your beauty. YOU should be satisfied being the flower
that YOU are. YOU should treasure and
value the unique blossoms that delight the eyes of others. YOU are
in the Universe's garden.


Last night I went out on a date — and let me tell you, it had been a very long time since my last one — and I have to say I really enjoyed it.  His name was Stephen, and well, he was not only cute, but he was funny and I felt really good around him.  Stephen asked me out to dinner and after a while of figuring out where we would eat we decided we’d have Thai.  He gave me the details for our little date and instead of getting ready, I laid on my sofa and was on the phone.  And as usual, I was late.  Because it was my (as Stephen joked) “first Thai“, he ordered for the both of us.  It was cute, and he actually chose some great dishes.  It was very good.  We talked, laughed, and kept staring at each other… signs of a good time (at least in my book).  But I was a little disappointed at the end of our date.

I don’t exactly know what I was expecting after dinner, but I didn’t expect that the dinner was going to be the entire date.  I thought we’d at least go have coffee or something afterwards, talk more.  But that didn’t happen.  So I was left wanting more.  But the thing that caught me off guard the most was the fact that we split our dinner bill.  Seriously?  Don’t get me wrong, I can pay my way, but he’s the one that asked me out, he picked the restaurant, he has a good job, and he’s older than I am.  I know if a guy and girl were in this situation, the guy would pay.  The guy would probably pay as much times as possible, if not every single time.  Now, I understand it could be different if they’re in relationship for years and share an account, but when you’re dating, doesn’t the guy get the check?  But then again, when gays date who gets the check?  Both of them are men.
[Side Note:  No, there is no "woman" in a gay relationship.  Both are men.  There's no "female" role.  Yes, there's bottoms and tops, but that has nothing to do with being a "woman".  I do enjoy a dick up my ass, and can be a bit feminine sometimes, but that does not make me the "woman" in the relationship.  At the end of the day, I have a fucking dick.  And I will also, kick the living shit out of you and bash your head in.  All men act differently, but it doesn't make them any less of a man.  Get it through your head, or please allow me to use my dick to beat it into you.]
So who pays?  Is it the one that asked the other out?  Do we take turns?  Does the one that is older pay?  Do we split the bill?  Does the one that makes more money pay?  Who pays?  I’ve had this conversation with my BFFE (best fucking friend ever) Annie a few times before and we’ve considered every scenario, and don’t exactly know who pays.  The best that I’ve come up with is taking turns paying; I’ll get it this time, he’ll get it next time.  Or if they’re a bit low on cash, I’ll pay without making it awkward and without letting them know I know they’re strapped on cash at the moment.  But, make sure you do so carefully, because I know money is one of those things that can break up friendships and even families…  However, if you ask someone out on a date, you (since you asked) should pay.  But if it’s one of those scenarios where you both are the type that feels like you should pay, just insist on paying and if he does the same, let him pay and tell him the next time is you’ll get it.  Don’t argue about how you want to pay it, because if you’re both masculine kinds of men, you might break out into a arm wrestle in the middle of the restaurant.  That could be hot, but inappropriate.  No matter what though, always carry some cash and plastic on you, because like what happened with me last night, you never know if the bill will be split.
It’s a little different when you’ve been in a relationship for a while, because eventually you figure out if there’s that one person that prefers paying, or you have a system that works for both of you.  Maybe you’re in a relationship and you’re guy would rather pay all the time.  If that’s so, I’d make sure I get him presents to show I appreciate him, or I’d cook dinner for him.  And if we lived together, I’d be sure to have our home clean and tidy, dinner (or reservations) ready for him when he gets home, and I’d just make sure he’s comfortable.  Also, you will probably figure out each other’s financial standings and might take that into consideration when choosing a restaurant, as not to go somewhere too expensive.  And if it is somewhere you really want to go, then you pay for it.
That’s just my take on the world of gay dating and who pays.  But what do you think?  Who should pay? 


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