SEX: ¿WHO IS IN CONTROL?

So the other day I am on MSN and I got a message from an unknown person. My normal reaction is to chat with anyone that hit me up and try to establish some sort of communication with them. As the session moved pass the typical questions…ASL, WHAT AREA YOU LIVE, ARE YOU A TOP/BOTTOM? Etc. Upon chatting with this young man, I realized that one of our MAJOR problems is that gay men are NOT IN CONTROL OF THEIR SEX! After I point out where his questions were leading, he told me that he isn’t just looking for sex, and he wants the entire man that comes along with it. Now I understand that, but when I think of the MANY gay men that wheel N’ deal, it becomes SO obvious that we are what we repeatedly do…SEX is NOT just an act that takes us to that mental AND emotional place, it becomes a habit. 

When I think of the sex stories that were told to me by gay men, I can’t help but feel a sense of loss AND pain. SO many of them met each other, didn’t have an ounce of feeling for each other, but since they both are there, they give into sex like they have NO control over it. I guess choosing to engage in the moment creates a GREATER sense of fulfillment…right? I understand the dynamics of how we do what we do, but we do what we do like it isn’t apart of us. AND THAT’S SCARY…

Every thought sex makes us think, every action we take because of it shows that it is controlling us. This shows that we CANNOT value another because we CANNOT value ourselves. If we can treat ourselves as a beautiful sexual being, then and ONLY then we can develop a strong control over sex AND our sexuality. The sexual encounters we have during our lifetime will ULTIMATELY affect our lives…it is up to us to decide which outcome we want for ourselves. 

Though our intention starts out purely, we mar the beautiful experience of sex by focusing on what we are trying to receive in return. To FULLY integrate sex into our lives, we have to NOT give into it so we can be in control of it. And In a world of six billion people, it’s easy to believe that the way we do what we do is okay…but as a gay man, I am tired of sex treating us like stones dropped into still waters. Yes there is a ripple, but then what? The impact sends out energy that sex is the master and we are the slave…I know that we are all @ different stages of life, and I am not telling anyone how much sex they should have, all I want is that we find ourselves in control as we go through the motions…