WHAT HIS UNDERWEAR SAYS ABOUT HIM...

Because, much like learning a man’s astrological sign, his underwear speak volumes about what kind of guy he really is, and what kind of equipment he’s working with. You could read his tea leaves, or consider the following:

TIGHTY WHITIES: They say he’s a real classic guy, the kind who owns a Golden Retriever (or at least grew up with one) and likes long walks on the beach and skiing in the winter. Just make sure his underwear isn’t too tight, or he could be a real piece of work who works out for two hours every morning and asks you, “Are you sure you should eat that?” when you order dessert.

BOXER SHORTS: Here’s the kind of man you can bring home to mom. He’s an all-around good guy who’s into sports and likes to let it all hang loose. But beware of his cousin, the one who wears silk, paisley boxers. That guy is way finicky and he will judge your own undie collection, so you don’t wanna be caught wearing frumpy undies around him…

BOXER BRIEFS: This man is a “closet stud” who likes to walk a little on the alternative side. His penis needs all the tender caressing support of a tighty whitie, but he’s laid-back and easy breezy like a boxer guy. He’s not trying to impress anyone, and he likes what he likes. He’s probably kind of a player too, but you won’t know until after he’s serenaded you and the next morning explains how you’re beautiful but he really just can’t “be in a relationship right now.”

COCK SOCKS: Run do not walk away from the guy who busts one of these little numbers out. Insecure and overly macho at the same time, here’s a guy who’s compensating for the fact that he has something to hide by barely hiding anything at all. It’s the male equivalent of a rhinestone g-string. There’s just no way to wear one of these with any semblance of class or dignity, got it? Note to men: Speedos and the like are like kryptonite to those wanting to have sex with you until you pulled your pants down.

MANTIES: Before you freak out and have a heart attack, consider that the manties man is not a full-on sexual deviant, but just really kinky and sexually confident. This rock star will fully blow your mind (and that’s not all) in the sack. On the flip side, he’s a total hedonist who’s likely to steal your best lingerie while he’s waiting for his next man panty order to arrive. Proceed with caution, but do strap in and enjoy the best sex of your life.