...ON THE EDGE

In the dating community today, we know that there are a number of GAY MEN that have trust issues, insecurities, poor self-body image, low self-esteem. These problems are a result of unhealthy relationships and not dealing with their internal struggles of being hurt as a child and not being truly loved and appreciated by adults then and now. Now if this is a true picture of what's going on with the men in our community, which I believe it is, can we really expect anyone to be of sound mind, body, and soul to be strong enough to sustain a relationship? I have met them all that fit the subject of my entry today AND it is NOT pretty. Moreover, the interesting thing is that they complain about not being in monogamous relationships and they somehow feel trapped OR afraid to leave. We all have defense mechanisms that we’ve developed over time, often without being aware of it; and in trouble times such as these our behavior tend show us @ our worst. The weird thing for me is that most of us somehow feel that this behavior is a natural response from the mental AND emotional aspects. But if one were to closely examine this theory, one would notice that most of our defense mechanisms were developed in childhood; from the moment that we realized crying would get us the attention we craved. And to some extent we do that in relationships with each other. The passive aggressive ways of communicating may have allowed us to get what we needed without being scolded, punished or laughed at, so we learned to avoid being direct and honest. Hence most of us take refuge in the lives of others, discovering ways to direct attention away from ourselves entirely. All so that we don’t deal with the real issues…OURSELVES! HOWEVER, WHEN GET TO THE PLACE WHERE WE ARE HONEST WITH OURSELVES ABOUT WHO ARE & THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIPS WE INVOLVE OURSELVES IN, WE CAN CONNECT OURSELVES TO A GREATER POWER WITHIN US.