HAPPY EARTH~DAY DAVEY

Don't Be Afraid

Do not be afraid to shine,

This world needs what you have to give.

Open up the areas of your being;

Expose them to yourself - to others.

You are valuable.

You are unique.

You have much to give.

Do not be afraid to give it.

As I sit and contemplate this your day of entry to this planet, I thought about how you are one the best people that I know…ONLY YOU DON’T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOURSELF. I contemplate the various things that you have done since we became friends and I can only shake my head in disbelief…I can only HOPE that these words that I write find you and make you see what I see. I feel that you live your life with the intent of being the ODD one and though that has it benefits, it can be VERY taxing AND annoying. Hence, I feel that the first thing that I should say to you is WAKE UP! You have elevated the process of complaining to a high art. Sometimes interesting mostly exhausting, you have the ability to find a problem just about anywhere. They say that complaining in its more EVOLVED from is simply the ability to see what is not working in one’s life…if ONLY for you it followed its natural conclusion to find a solution AND apply it. Sadly, you do not get anywhere near this point and I feel that your constant complaining has become an end in itself. I say this because mostly you complain about the THINGS or PEOPLE that YOU allow to HURT and ABUSE you. In small doses, you are NOT a problem, but sadly complaining has become a huge part of you identity and that energy is just trying to spread itself. I get that you are NOT happy, how can you be? Nevertheless, blaming the world for what is wrong does NOT solve anything. IF ONLY WHEN YOU COMPLAIN YOU TORE DOWN SOME UNDESIRABLE STRUCTURE IN ORDER TO MAKE ROOM FOR SOMETHING NEW…FACE IT YOU ARE NOT MEANT FOR CERTAIN THINGS or CERTAIN PLACES, STOP FORCING YOURSELF TO DEAL WITH THEM.

After your illogical phone to me @ 2 am in the morning, I have thought asking you these questions in commemoration of your 43rd B-DAY:

1. DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A MESS?
2. DO YOU SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH MY SAYING THAT?
3. IS IT A BAD THING IF I REFUSE TO TOLERATE YOU?
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ME SAYING THAT I AM NOT PROUD OF YOU?
5. DO YOU KNOW THAT I SEE BEYOND YOU & THE WAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE?
6. DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ZAP THE POSITIVE ENERGY OUT OF LIFE?
7. WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH AN AUDIENCE THAT MOCKS & BELITTLE YOU?
8. DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE CAUGHT UP IN YOURSELF?
9. DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT CONSIDER OTHERS EVEN THOUGH YOU SAY YOU DO?
10. WHY ARE YOU OBESSIVE COMPULSIVE?
11. WHY CAN’T YOU PROCESS & RELEASE?
12. WHO GAVE YOU THAT GLORIFIED SOAP BOX UPON WHICH YOU STAND?
13. WHAT MAKES YOU BETTER THAN EVERY GAY MAN?
14. WHY SO MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS DON’T REGARD YOU?
15. WHY YOUR EX GIRLFRIENDS DON’T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE YOU?
16. WHY IS YOUR WAY OR NOW WAY?
17. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO YOURSELF?
18. DO YOU CARE?
19. I SUSPECT PSYCHOSIS, DO YOU?
20. DO YOU KNOW THAT I SACRIFICE WHAT I FEEL IS TRUE TO TOLERATE YOU?
21. THIS DAY FORTH I AM FOCUSED ON ME, HOW ABOUT YOU REALLY DO THE SAME?
22. DON’T YOU FIND IT WEIRD THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE ANYONE TO SHARE YOUR NEGATIVE ENERGY WITH?
23. DO YOU THINK THE THINGS I AM SAYING ARE HURTFUL?
24. CAN YOU PRETEND TO FEEL THEM?
25. WHY DO YOU HATE PROGRESS?
26. WHY DO YOU TELL THE SAME STORIES OVER & OVER AGAIN?
27. CAN YOU DISMISS THE NEGATIVE & DRAINING ENERGY FROM YOUR SPACE?
28. DO YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU DO YOU WILL DISAPPEAR?
29. DO YOU KNOW THAT IT IS NOT OK FOR OTHERS TO SAY ‘OH THAT IS NO BIG DEAL; IT’S JUST HOW YOU BEHAVE?’
30. DO YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE IT IS NOT COOL TO ALWAYS LOOK FOR A PAT ON THE BACK?
31. CAN YOU SEE THE LESSON & NOT THE WORK?
32. DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU BLOCK ALL OF YOUR BLESSINGS?
33. WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF AGING?
34. DOES IT HURT IF I SAY THAT IF I WERE YOU I WOULD BE TOO?
35. DO YOU ENJOY THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE? REALLY?
36. CAN YOU LAUGH UNTIL YOU GASP FOR BREATH?
37. CAN YOU NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING FOR AN ENTIRE MINUTE?
38. CAN YOU ADMIT THAT YOU ARE WRONG SOMETIMES?
39. CAN YOU NOT TAKE GUILT TRIPS?
40. DO YOU FEEL GRATEFUL FOR BEING ALIVE? REALLY?
41. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT IF YOU GET LIFE WRONG YOU ARE DOOMED TO REPEAT IT? THEN WHY TAKE THAT PATH?
42. CAN YOU SEE ME FOR THE MAN THAT I AM & NOT WHAT YOU THINK I AM?
43. CAN YOU READ THIS, THINK ABOUT WHAT I AM ASKING & TRY TO MAKE SOME CHANGES ABOUT YOURSELF?

NOW I KNOW THAT THERE ARE THOSE OF YOU OUT THERE THAT WILL READ THIS & FEEL THAT I AM HARSH OR RATHER I SHOULD SEEK HER OUT, SIT DOWN WITH & TALK TO HER...I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT CONCEPT, BUT WHEN SOME PEOPLE ARE LOST TO THEMSELVES IT IS VERY, VERY VERY DIFFICULT FOR THEM ACCEPT CERTAIN THINGS. THOUGH THIS IS A NEGATIVE ENTRY FOR SUCH A HAPPY OCCASSION I FELT IT NECESSARY TO WRITE IT FOR THIS DAY BECAUSE I WANT IT TO HIT HOME. I DO NOT FOR ONE MINUTE FEEL THAT I AM BETTER or HATE DAVEY, I JUST WANT HER TO BE HAPPY WITH WHO SHE IS AS A WOMAN, LESBIAN, SISTER, DAUGHTER, AUNT & FRIEND...