AGAIN

AGAIN is a song by American singer Janet Jackson from her fifth studio album, janet. (1993). Written and produced by Jackson, James Harris III, and Terry Lewis, the ballad was released as the album's third single in October 1993. AGAIN topped the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 in late 1993 and received a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Original Song. Based on a lost love, AGAIN was included as the closing song to her 1993 box-office film debut in Poetic Justice. I LOVE this song because of its sweetness though it is talking about loosing LOVE, it will FOREVER be a favorite of mine. She sang the capture the emotion of the song without making it overly dramatic.

WORKING ME

For about a week I’ve been contemplating quitting my job. I am NOT a quitter but working with someone that has to be a B!TCH when it is necessary is more than I am prepared to deal with. I came to this realization when I lied to my boss about finishing a project that would take days but she expected it to be completed in mere minutes. I wanted to tell her SO bad that I didn’t complete it so she could FREAK THE F&CK out but I didn’t. I lied because I know that there are persons depending on me and in these tough economic I don’t want to be unemployed. I guess it would WAY TOO much to have a boss that actually appreciates the persons working for her…INSTEAD SHE WOULD RATHER THAT I HATE N’ DESPISE HER…So here how it went down…Last week things FINALLY came to a boiling point. My boss and I had it out and I could tell that she was VERY surprised because the woman hung up her phone on me and came to confront me face to face (I guess seeing was supposed to make me back down). I thought I was going to be fired for sure, but I couldn’t let her think that I can’t AND won’t stand up for my rights. The thing about our confrontation is that I was VERY calm, my voice was steady AND my blood pressure didn’t go up. I get that she is under pressure AND others are NOT pulling their weight, but I am. I guess she needs to let someone have and I guess I am the RIGHT person because it is easy to blame shit on me. If only it were that simple…Since I’ve ONLY been working there for a month I can’t AND won’t take the blame for things that go on in a company that  is SO backwards AND with NO real plan OR system in place to get things done. So you know B!TCH wasn’t having that right? She went on about how I can’t multi-task (ME KISHNA ANDREW MARK CAREY HOMOSEXUAL FROM BIRTH) cannot multi-task? I WAS LIKE HUH? And I thought, I multi-task EVERYDAY by NOT slapping the F&CK out of you OR telling about your HORRIBLE people skills…but I didn’t. I took the diplomatic approach and VERY calmly let her know that I am NOT her enemy and did NOT come there to take anything away from her. I plainly told her that I AM VERY HAPPY WITH MY LIFE…despite the fact that they don’t pay me anything, I am grateful that I have a job and that I somewhere to lay my head. B!TCH brought out the peace bringer side of me. After our hour talk we both decided that we needed to head home…As I settled @ home I wondered to myself if our conversation had any effect on how she behaves…funny how we ask questions that are answered almost @ the EXACT moment we had them…So back to work the next day and she and I had a another interaction. This time I did NOT engage her, I just walked out of her office as she raised her voice AND lost her patience because she didn’t feel like explaining to me how to process a return payment to a client. It was this incident that made me thought about quitting AND I promised myself that if she breathes @ me too hard I will give her the keys and walk away because I don’t feel trying to make a living should be this much hell. I sometimes wonder who OR what I was in my previous life because it seems that I have a way of working with companies that are crap OR there are persons there that are getting EVERYTHING and they STILL want to shit on the little people. All I can say is that if I wasn’t STRONG in who I am AND I choose to see beyond her, I would SO return to her what she is giving me…BUT I KNOW THAT THIS JOB LIKE EVERYTHING IN LIFE WILL PASS…I AM ONLY THERE UNTIL I AM SUPPOSED TO BE (HOPE THE TIME TO LEAVE ISN’T TOO FAR OFF). I GUESS IT IS TRUE WHAT A FRIEND OF MINE SAY ABOUT WOMEN THAT ARE SOFT SPOKEN, IT’S LIKE WORKING ANGEL ONE DAY THEN THE NEXT SOME OTHER DEMONIC ENERGY TAKES OVER…TALKING ABOUT MULTI-TASKING…

FILL IN THE BLANK

MY LIFE WOULD BE PERFECTLY (IM)PERFECT IF I COULD JUST __________________.

THE ONE THING WRONG IS...

IF YOU HAD TO PUT YOUR FINGER ON THE "ONE" THING THAT IS WRONG WITH THE GAY COMMUNITY, WHICH "ONE" WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

¿HOMOPHOBIA & IGNORANCE?

¿USING SEX AS A DEVICE TO FEEL LOVE?

 

¿THE LONELINESS & ISOLATION?

 

¿OUR FIXATION WITH BODY N’ LOOKS?

¿NOT KNOWING WHO WE ARE?

 

¿HOW ABOUT A PERSONALITY TEST?

The following is pretty accurate and it only takes a few minutes. Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. The Answers are for who you are now and not who you were in the past.  Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept at many of the major corporations today.  It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and in their prospective employees. It's only 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each question. Ready? 

WHEN DO YOU FEEL YOUR BEST…
A)  In the morning

B)  during the afternoon and early evening

C)  Late at night 

YOU USUALLY WALK…

A)  Fairly fast, with long steps

B)  Fairly fast, with little steps

C)  Less fast head up, looking the world in the face

D)  Less fast, head down

E)  Very slowly

WHEN TALKING TO PEOPLE YOU…

A)  Stand with your arms folded

B)  Have your hands clasped

C)  Have one or both your hands on your hips

D)  Touch or push the person to whom you are talking

E)  Play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

WHEN RELAXING, YOU SIT WITH… 

A)   Your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side

B)  Your legs crossed

C) Your legs stretched out or straight

D)  One leg curled under you

WHEN SOMETHING REALLY AMUSES YOU, YOU REACT WITH… 

A)  Big appreciated laugh

B)  A laugh, but not a loud one

C)  A quiet chuckle

D)  A sheepish smile

WHEN YOU GO TO A PARTY/SOCIAL GATHERING YOU… 

A)  Make a loud entrance so everyone notices you

B)  Make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know

C)  Make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

YOU’RE WORKING VERY HARD, CONCENTRATING HARD, & YOU’RE INTERRUPTED…

A)  Welcome the break

B)  Feel extremely irritated

C)  Vary between these two extremes 

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING COLORS DO YOU LIKE THE MOST…

A)  Red or orange

B)  Black

C)  Yellow or light blue

D)  Green

E)  Dark blue or purple

F)  White

G)  Brown or gray

WHEN YOU ARE IN BED @ NIGHT, IN THOSE LAST FEW MOMENTS BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP YOU ARE…

A)  Stretched out on your back

B)  Stretched out face down on your stomach

C)  On your side, slightly curled

D)  With your head on one arm

E)  With your head under the covers

YOU OFTEN DREAM THAT YOU ARE…

A)  falling

B)  fighting or struggling

C)  searching for something or somebody

D)  flying or floating

E)  you usually have dreamless sleep

F)  your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:

1.  (a) 2     (b) 4     (c) 6
2.  (a) 6     (b) 4     (c) 7     (d) 2     (e) 1
3.  (a) 4     (b) 2     (c) 5     (d) 7     (e) 6
4.  (a) 4     (b) 6     (c) 2     (d) 1
5.  (a) 6     (b) 4     (c) 3     (d) 5     (e) 2
6 .  (a) 6     (b) 4     (c) 2
7.  (a) 6     (b) 2     (c) 4
8.  (a) 6     (b) 7     (c) 5     (d) 4     (e) 3     (f) 2     (g) 1
9.  (a) 7     (b) 6     (c) 4     (d) 2     (e) 1
10 (a) 4    (b) 2     (c) 3     (d) 5     (e) 6     (f) 1

NOW ADD UP THE TOTAL NUMBER OF POINTS…

 

OVER 60 POINT:  Others see you as someone they should 'handle with care'.  You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant.  Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you. 

51 TO 60 POINTS:  Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality, a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones.  They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once, and someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure.  They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS:  Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting, someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head.  They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding, someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS:  Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical.  They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest.  Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return.  Those who really get to know you, realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.


21 TO 30 POINTS:  Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.  They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. And it would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS:   People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist.  Some people think you're boring.  Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

I GOT A 59 :)

IT’S GOOD TO KNOW…

This past weekend Noel and I went to get tested for HIV/AIDS. Of course I felt that I had NOTHING to worry about but the wait time from taking the test and getting the results play on one’s psyche. So when our tests came back negative I was revealed to confirm what I knew AND felt in the depths of my soul. However SO many others out there that took their test this weekend, last weekend, two weeks before or when ever didn’t get the results that we got. So many of us are type that BELIEVES in being in relationships in order to feel free to experience sex in its REAL and TRUE form. However due to HIV/AIDS epidemic taking the LOVE juice of another is quite unsafe. I live AND love knowing that I am MORE than enough for Noel and he for me. So on this day I want CELEBRATE OUR LOVE as we along with rest of the world reflect on WORLD AIDS DAY. It brings tears to my eyes knowing that when I wake in the mornings that Noel is laying next to me. My soul dances with joy as think about the children we could father AND the ONLY protection we would need in OUR relationship is LOVE. Lord knows that I HATE this disease, I DETEST it with everything that makes me who I am. HIV/AIDS took the ONE thing that God gave us and try to make into something scary AND unsafe. No longer can we as people penetrate for the sake it, we have to have the kind of sex that penetrates our souls as well. It is my feeling that sex makes us beautiful and within this beauty we get to express the best form of humanity. We get to protect, hold AND keep each other…HIV/AIDS HAS TAINTED THE SPIRITUAL ESSENCE OF LOVE & IT HAS DEMORALIZE THE GENUINE MORALITY OF HUMANITY FOR TOO LONG NOW & IT IS UP TO US TO GET IT BACK. I KNOW THAT I CAN BREATHE, LIVE N’ LOVE BECAUSE I KNOW OUR STATUS…DO YOU KNOW YOURS?

BE READY...

For a LONG time now, we’ve been living in a world where mankind has been getting ready to live. And as a result of this we have a world that is consumed with ALL the wrong things. From money to fancy cars to the huge house we want it ALL! It is SO sad that many of us seek the answers to life’s question by looking outside of ourselves and try to get happiness N’ joy from the things that will NOT last. Each of us is unique, with OUR own personal histories, OUR own sense of right and wrong, and OUR own way of experiencing the world that defines OUR realities; and using everything AND everyone will ONLY further the problem that already exists in this world. We need to be ready because the future started YESTERDAY and we are a day late AND a dollar short. WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR US TO GET IT? More terrorist attack in some parts of the world? More people dying from hunger? More fretting about the how AND why of life? We need to act as THE compass of life and NOT life being the compass of us. We need to learn to HEAR, TRUST and EMBRACE the world as it happening on MANY levels. I get that within us there are NUMEROUS voices that often compete for our attention. It can be difficult to decide which one to listen to, particularly when the world is sending out its very own set of signals. However ONE voice is the speaker of TRUTH and that’s the voice that is telling you TO BE READY! We need to achieve this if we are to fix things and make them better. Because we’ve been living like we don’t get what humanity is all about, I get that being READY is something that will not happen overnight. But I am SURE if we are PATIENT as we relearn how to be a human with a heart N’ soul we can get there in NO time. We need to STOP going against the TRUTH because it slapping us in the face everyday in every way. THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE, PLACES N’ THINGS YOU CAN SEE THE HAND GOD @ WORK, YET WE IGNORE IT & LIVE AS IF WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE PEOPLE WE ARE…IT IS TIME TO STIR UP OUR SOULS SO WE CAN MAKE THAT JOURNEY TO THAT MOUNTAIN TOP & BE READY SO WE DON’T HAVE TO GET READY FOR THE CHANGE THE WORLD NEEDS…