I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Monday, February 21, 2022


I met a great guy on Grindr. It was supposed to be just a hook-up but we ended up getting to know each other and now it’s been a few months. It feels like a relationship. We hold hands, we cook dinner together, spending a lot of time with each other, but he still goes on Grindr a lot. He says he’s just going on to chat, but most guys aren’t on there just to “chat.”

A few weeks ago, he showed me a guy who wanted to have a three-way. I really wasn’t into it. An hour later, I noticed he was still on Grindr after he left my house, but his location wasn’t very far away and his profile picture was next to the guy he was talking about earlier. The next day he admitted that he hooked up with him. I was extremely upset and we came to an understanding that we would only play with others together.

Like I said, we’re not in a real relationship, even though we act like a couple. He doesn’t refer me as his boyfriend, but does say we are dating and when I asked him if he was hooking up with anybody else, he said no. Yet he’s always on Grindr!

Fast forward again. He wanted to have another three-way and showed me some guy. After he left my house, I saw he was next to the guy on Grindr. I texted him immediately and asked what he was doing. He said it was just a coincidence and that nobody was next to him.

Am I wrong? How do I move past this? Or do I accept that we’re not in a relationship and I’m wanting too much when he’s clearly not looking for commitment? My heart and brain don’t see the match.

Have you ever had to deal with this?

What are your thoughts?

What advice would you give this person?

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