The most important relationship
we will ever have in our life, is with our own self.
The most important relationship we have in our lives is with ourselves. And
even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives
-- from birth onward -- this relationship can be the most difficult one to
cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance
of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs
for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly
choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest
potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can
become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.
Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive,
and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially,
socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these
realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create
fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and
neighbors. Once we've satisfied our needs and created our support system, a
mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we've
created and the beauty we've discovered within ourselves.
As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in
the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes
us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need
to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift
our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to
opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter
uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what
truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able
to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether
those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy
being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship -- the
one with our true selves.
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