THE POSSIBILITIES OF "HE"

I am sorry to speak out of turn, I know that it has been a while since I wrote you; but I could NOT help this. MY mind has been going since I last spoke with and as usual you went ALL silent and I figured that IF I was a GOOD boy and did NOT say a word YOU would NOT be LOST to me. Now it appears that YOU are; makes a MAN wonder if YOU are REAL or are YOU a figment of my imagination? I wish YOU were here LOVING, KISSING, HOLDING…ME! I have ALL these plans for OUR life and YOU are nowhere around. I wish that I could just hold YOU, for I am fading FAST and I know that I will NOT last much longer, the waters are RISING and I am DROWNING! I sometimes wonder if YOU are even possible because YOU are NO more real than PRINCE CHARMING in the fairy tale books and this is REAL life so YOU should know how I view fairy tales. I want the REAL deal and I know that it is YOU; YOU are MR. RIGHT because YOU are RIGHT for me and that is all that matters. I do NOT want another MR. RIGHT NOW or some SEAT FILLER. STOP forcing me to settle for a few Narrow Escapes and the BRUSHES with ONE or TWO that snuck up on me then slipped away. I want YOU and NO ONE else. YOU make me wonder if I am paying for some PAST transgressions that I have to atone for in this life. It is as if I know within my SOUL that I am to pay for the GREATEST that came my way and I TOTALLY destroyed it. By FATE I get know that YOU are out there, but WE cannot be because of ME! Is the UNIVERSE telling that the snippets of YOU in those that I meet are ALL I will ever get? I think I rather be ALONE because the BITS n’ PIECES does NOT sustain me. It is YOU that will make me whole and to ACCEPT any other substitute is jus CRAZY! Therefore, like a FOOL that misses YOU I have embraced the fragments of YOU because it is the closest I can get to you. Strange how settling leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, with LONG dark winters waiting on the power of the SUN that is YOU. My HEART cries for you ALL the time, my SOUL is empty and weak…I am the candle on the table that is unlit, the cold reminder of a life without romance. I foolishly wear my heart on sleeve when I think it is YOU, and then I slowly die because I know that I know better. Now as it stands, I put away my candle to hide my hurt; I wrapped it carefully in the HOPE that this retirement would be for a short period. Now my pain is OPEN for ALL to see, I think it is better this way because I will not feel ALONE, I cannot HIDE anymore. Only with YOU can my soul alight, I can have a REAL sense of self with some purpose in LOVE. I can burn the fire for the future and the ONE who I know is meant for me…UNTIL THEN I WILL GIVE MY SOUL HOPE & BELIEVE IN THE POSSIBILITY OF HE…