It is a basic human desire to seek out love and if it weren't, most of us would live as hermits. Humans are social creatures; when we're younger, we yearn for friends and acceptance. As we grow older, we yearn to find that special someone to share our lives with, for companionship, emotional support, maybe even to start our own families. But in seeking this basic need, one has to get it from the beginning of one’s life; one has to receive this nurturing and comfort from within their very own families. And why shouldn’t it come from these persons? Families are forever, you are born into families and you die with families around. Families go way back in history. All of us have ancestors. There is no getting away from them. They are there, and good or bad, they will never go away. In the media, all of us have often heard or seen a ‘TYPICAL’ family being portrayed and there seems to be so much LOVE and SUPPORT that one thinks that this is the way families are suppose to be. I am not saying that this picture is wrong, I am just saying from my point of view and where I live that doesn’t exist. How does one know if your family really loves you? Do they just love you because it’s expected? Families LOVE HARD AND STRONG and it makes me sometimes think if they realize that sometimes SOFT and GENTLE is all that’s needed. Love is expressed in many ways and without kind words or warm smile how is one to say they know they are loved? Why are we as a people so hard on each other? Why is it especially in this part of the world so difficult for LOVE to be shown? As blacks we had a life that was hard and showing weakness was not a good thing; so did this make us not show LOVE to each other? Did I not receive the LOVE I craved because we grew up poor? Poverty is the single most powerful risk for families and children and affects families in many ways. So did this impact me during my preschool years? Was I affected by ‘HARD LOVE’ from such a tender age? Was I not shown LOVE because my family lacked the ability to provide educational and cultural experiences for me? Did I not receive adequate LOVE because of my family’s economic status? Did they not LOVE themselves because he didn’t have adequate housing, a safe environment, and responsible child? Did my mother and father not get LOVE from their parents during their childhood, thus not knowing how to give it to their offspring? I am aware that financial hardships, social and emotional strain, can disrupt family life; but are those things really important in grand scheme of life? How or why should a child lack effect parenting because the quality of the parent’s life isn’t what they want? I think back and all I can remember are SHADOWS OF MY SMILES, ECHOES OF MY LAUGHS AND SKELETONS OF MY TEARS AND FEARS…ALL FOR WHAT PURPOSE? Why was I abused emotionally? Why did this destructive force seek to give heighten my anxiety, depression and lower my self-esteem? WHY DID THEY LOVE ME SO HARD; THUS NOT LOVING ME AT ALL? They tell me that families are important and my heritage not only includes who our ancestors are but also the ones brought into our families by marriage. I wish I could say that I can look at the average family and say that LOVE is there. I wish I could say that encouragement…understanding ... hope ... comfort ... advice ... values ... morals all existed but I can’t. In this world we’ve been told to laugh at our mistakes and that we could be just a little proud of learning from them. We have been taught to enjoy the people we know and to appreciate the beauty of nature. We have learned by watching the examples before us. We're told to try out new things, to laugh and enjoy life, to try harder or try again, to appreciate what we have, to help those who are less fortunate, to make friends, to be a friend and to honor God and our country. We've been taught honor and respect. Pity the one thing that needed to be easy was LOVE and that was given, is given with toughness associated with pain and hurt. I WISH THAT I DIDN’T HAVE TO LOOK AND FAMILY AND WONDER DO THEY LOVE EACH OTHER? I WISH THAT WAS EVIDENTLY SEEN…
Monday, April 30, 2007
LOVE: THE HARD WAY...
It is a basic human desire to seek out love and if it weren't, most of us would live as hermits. Humans are social creatures; when we're younger, we yearn for friends and acceptance. As we grow older, we yearn to find that special someone to share our lives with, for companionship, emotional support, maybe even to start our own families. But in seeking this basic need, one has to get it from the beginning of one’s life; one has to receive this nurturing and comfort from within their very own families. And why shouldn’t it come from these persons? Families are forever, you are born into families and you die with families around. Families go way back in history. All of us have ancestors. There is no getting away from them. They are there, and good or bad, they will never go away. In the media, all of us have often heard or seen a ‘TYPICAL’ family being portrayed and there seems to be so much LOVE and SUPPORT that one thinks that this is the way families are suppose to be. I am not saying that this picture is wrong, I am just saying from my point of view and where I live that doesn’t exist. How does one know if your family really loves you? Do they just love you because it’s expected? Families LOVE HARD AND STRONG and it makes me sometimes think if they realize that sometimes SOFT and GENTLE is all that’s needed. Love is expressed in many ways and without kind words or warm smile how is one to say they know they are loved? Why are we as a people so hard on each other? Why is it especially in this part of the world so difficult for LOVE to be shown? As blacks we had a life that was hard and showing weakness was not a good thing; so did this make us not show LOVE to each other? Did I not receive the LOVE I craved because we grew up poor? Poverty is the single most powerful risk for families and children and affects families in many ways. So did this impact me during my preschool years? Was I affected by ‘HARD LOVE’ from such a tender age? Was I not shown LOVE because my family lacked the ability to provide educational and cultural experiences for me? Did I not receive adequate LOVE because of my family’s economic status? Did they not LOVE themselves because he didn’t have adequate housing, a safe environment, and responsible child? Did my mother and father not get LOVE from their parents during their childhood, thus not knowing how to give it to their offspring? I am aware that financial hardships, social and emotional strain, can disrupt family life; but are those things really important in grand scheme of life? How or why should a child lack effect parenting because the quality of the parent’s life isn’t what they want? I think back and all I can remember are SHADOWS OF MY SMILES, ECHOES OF MY LAUGHS AND SKELETONS OF MY TEARS AND FEARS…ALL FOR WHAT PURPOSE? Why was I abused emotionally? Why did this destructive force seek to give heighten my anxiety, depression and lower my self-esteem? WHY DID THEY LOVE ME SO HARD; THUS NOT LOVING ME AT ALL? They tell me that families are important and my heritage not only includes who our ancestors are but also the ones brought into our families by marriage. I wish I could say that I can look at the average family and say that LOVE is there. I wish I could say that encouragement…understanding ... hope ... comfort ... advice ... values ... morals all existed but I can’t. In this world we’ve been told to laugh at our mistakes and that we could be just a little proud of learning from them. We have been taught to enjoy the people we know and to appreciate the beauty of nature. We have learned by watching the examples before us. We're told to try out new things, to laugh and enjoy life, to try harder or try again, to appreciate what we have, to help those who are less fortunate, to make friends, to be a friend and to honor God and our country. We've been taught honor and respect. Pity the one thing that needed to be easy was LOVE and that was given, is given with toughness associated with pain and hurt. I WISH THAT I DIDN’T HAVE TO LOOK AND FAMILY AND WONDER DO THEY LOVE EACH OTHER? I WISH THAT WAS EVIDENTLY SEEN…
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