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I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.

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Friday, July 28, 2017

¿HOW IS A QUEER COMMUNITY BORN?

It is born out of conflict; it is born by accepting the challenges of life, by getting defeated, by falling down and by rising again.

Is not queer community the foundation stone of all neurosis? Many of us have a ‘love-hate’ relationship with each other. Rare are people who are not wounded for life, and not able to find a way to heal and rise above circumstances. We imprison each other and in my continuing interaction with queer persons, I’m quite amazed at the high percentage of people who would love to see better relations within the queer community. We are filled with assortments of differing opinions and actions that more often than not, do not meet the criteria for that enforce love for each other. In a sense, it is a microcosm of what the world is like.

We have been conditioned that the community is not a great contribution to the world. On the surface, community is wonderful, with its get togethers, support for each other, and always growing together spiritually. But to overestimate that ‘reality’ is but to find nothing but confusing disappointment. A real authentic, loving community doesn’t try to keep control of each person’s life, and closing doors to those who choose to follow a different path. Rarely does a community engender personal growth over its personal prejudices like the religion we have inherited from our parents.  Everyone seems to hold fast to the idea that theirs is the best and only way to be.

It all starts in the beginning, and yet it’s always time to overcome flaws to a new beginning. Many of us rarely maintain the love that brought us together, even if it wasn’t just ‘biological’ with a little ‘angel dust’ thrown in. On one end, we get immeasurable love. On the other end, we inherit the difficulties of learning how to simply love each other.


It is sad to see our community sour as times go on because some key ingredients are missing and never were replaced. Each person needs to come from the highest consciousness and openness, yet realizing that our community is made up of our friends that become our ‘extended family’. Before us, is an energy of secrecy, hatred and lack of knowledge that has kept us where we are. It’s taken us this long to be what we are, and this is the time for a quantum leap in our evolution. It’s up to each one of us. No time has been better for a new community!

TODAY IS MILK CHOCOLATE DAY!


Thursday, July 27, 2017

TIPS FOR GETTING OVER YOUR EX...

No matter how old you are, how many times you have endured it or how long you were together, going through a breakup is not only painful, but it can rock your confidence, dampen your mood and leave you feeling hopeless. Depending on who decided to call it quits and who was left out to dry, you might be struggling to truly let go of your ex and, though you will not admit it (we feel ya), it’s affecting every other part of your life.

From how you are functioning at work to the conversations you have with your friends when you are out clubbing, a heartbreak doesn’t just hit you when you are lying in bed alone at night; it impacts everything and everyone around you. It can be hard to look to tomorrow when you are still meddling in yesterday. 

If you do not take the necessary steps to rid yourself of those old feelings, let go of those could-be, should-be thoughts and make an effort to move on and meet someone new, getting over your ex might feel like such a heavy burden. You may not even know where to begin.

The good news? That is totally normal. The bad? It’s time to release those strings, take in a big breath and remember to put yourself first. And that begins with understanding the impact of the breakup and believing you can move forward.


What is your advice for getting over an ex?

LGBTI RACISM: HOW TO FIX THE EXCLUSION OF BLACK & ASIAN PEOPLE

This week marks fifty years since the introduction of the Sexual Offences Act which partially the decriminalized homosexuality in England and Wales.

Originally, that only meant two men aged 21 and over could have sex together in complete privacy. Since then, UK law has evolved to mean an equal age of consent for sex and even marriage equality.

The LGBTI community seemingly gains more and more legislative protection each day. And, in recent years, media attention has focused on the astoundingly underrepresented subculture of the trans community.

As a community, we have a long history of championing progressive rights and movements. But recent trends in politics highlight worrying fractures along subsections and cultures.

How the far right has won LGBTI voters

Far right movements have employed homonationalism – the union of LGBTI issues with nationalist pride – to further espouse racist and fascist ideology.

In the midst of the ongoing refugee crisis, we’ve seen Marine Le Pen manage to court a significant proportion of French LGBTI voters. They seemed to not care the National Front wanted to repeal France’s 2013 marriage equality law.

Similarly, only a few years ago UKIP’s MEP David Coburn said of asylum seekers: ‘Many of these people, as we’ve heard, are ISIS.’
‘I don’t know about you but I am a homosexual and I do not want to be stoned to death,’ he added.

Later that same year, British anti-Europe party UKIP’s LGBTI faction had the gall to infiltrate London’s Pride parade. They used a grotesque perversion of LGBT campaign organization Stonewall’s slogan ‘Some people are gay, get over it’. The UKIP version read: ‘Some gays are UKIP, get over it’.

We might think Le Pen’s defeat and the collapse in UKIP’s vote in the UK general election may indicate the end of this trend. But the ‘electoral pacts’ between UKIP and Conservative candidates in Britain suggests the vitriol has not disappeared, but simply changed appearances.

How are LGBTI Conservatives able to hold their heads high in public despite Theresa May’s abhorrent voting record on LGBTI issues? Our Prime Minister has also defended fellow party members in spite of virulent homophobia. And now she has partnered with overtly anti-gay Arlene Foster and the Democratic Unionist Party. I find the LGBTI Tory attitude quite incomprehensible.

‘No rice, no spice, no chocolate, no curry’

For queer black and minority ethnics, this exclusionary ideological warfare fought on the political stage manifests on the gay scene in twisted manner.

At times the exclusionary nature is overwhelming. Owners of our some of our LGBTI biggest venues have openly scapegoated us for knife crime and called for the boycott of Muslim owned venues.
Folk on the scene are far too eager to paint entire races as homophobic.

In fact institutionalized homophobia was an export of British colonialism to many of our countries of origin. Now, queer people of color experience more racism in queer spaces than homophobia within their ethnic communities.

Gay apps and dating websites openly parade ‘no rice, no spice, no chocolate, no curry’. When challenged, the perpetrators staunchly defend this blatant display of racism as a harmless ‘preference’.
In the little positive representation queer people have in the media, we black and minority ethnic LGBTIs find ourselves pushed to the fringes yet again.

Conversations started by #gaymediasowhite across social media laid bare criminal levels of representation. We are excluded from channels that purport to stand for inclusivity and liberation.

The magnitude of our erasure reached new appalling heights in Emmerich’s 2015 film Stonewall. It boldly re-writes the Stonewall riots as the achievement of white cisgendered males, whitewashing the known legacies of black and trans people.

Breeding machines or submissive fantasies

On the other hand, our racialized identities seem to be both the object of desire and nexus of queer culture.

For black queers, we are either the dehumanised as the big dicked, ripped manly breeding machine or the curvaceous sassy, sultry and (sex) experienced ‘sista’. The identities of those falling in-between and outside of the binary are often completely erased.

For Asians the objectification often revolves around a caricature of being a docile submissive. This can be observed in a multitude of pornography movies.

Often, the celebration and performance of drag, voguing and musical performance leads to the grotesque adoption of black femininity and ‘blaccents’.

LGBTI racism shames our diverse roots

The undercurrent dehumanisation within queer spaces and culture ultimately calls for a serious change in mindset.

LGBTI people cannot seek equality whilst simultaneously being racist. It shames our diverse and empowered roots.

There are a few LGBTIs who have finally come to experience a small amount of legislative privilege. Most of them are white gay men. They should not perpetrate the mistakes wider society inflicts on them, onto the other members of their community.

A simple mutual awareness of experiences and oppression isn’t enough. We as a unified community must invest a collective effort into reconnecting with our radical roots. And we must resist the lure of corporate pinkwashing.

To this day, the ban on gay and bi men donating blood still stands. Meanwhile, vast inequality under the government’s policy of economic austerity hits our least fortunate the hardest. And our histories and sexual relations still remain absent from school curriculums.

We have plenty to proud of, and plenty to be angry at.


Emmanuel Agu was writing on behalf of UK Black Pride. Gay Star News is a media partner of UK Black Pride.

SOURCE: GAY STAR NEWS

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

ORALLY SPEAKING...

For me I’m an oral sex fanatic!

I have an oral sex fetish. If I could get some bomb ass head, I’d prefer that over anything else. It’s all about giving and receiving. If a man isn’t willing to get on his knees, he can’t have me period. It’s a huge turn off for a guy not to give oral.

When it cums to oral sex, where do you stand?

OPINION: DO STRAIGHT PEOPLE DESERVE TO BE CLASSIFIED AS GAY ICONS?

Billboard declared Ariana Grande ‘the gay icon of her generation,’ and the internet’s divided.

Whether you love her music or not, there’s no doubt Grande is a huge supporter of the LGBTI community.

Her unconditional love for her gay brother matched with her continued fight for equality across the board is truly inspiring.

But just because she’s straight, does that mean she’s disqualified as a gay icon?

Numerous viral tweets in response to the original tweet seem to think so.

One read: ‘Wow, that’s so progressive I’m so happy to be living in a world where a fucking straight girl can be a gay icon.’

Another tweeted: ‘Rather than recognizing a straight woman as your gay icon, here is a list of some LGBT artists that can be your gay icon instead.’

They then listed LGBTI artists and celebrities, like Troye Sivan, Adam Lambert, Halsey and Frank Ocean.

It’s an interesting question and I think the answer lies in the generational divide.

My experiences of gay icons are shaped through my own cultural lens, but this may vary for other people in the LGBTI umbrella.
As a 20-something queer cis male, my gay icons are Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Joan Crawford, Kylie Minogue and Carly Rae Jepsen.
These pop and on-screen princesses have all made commitments to the LGBTI community in some way and speak to me on a personal level.

They’re flamboyant, feminine and glamorous – all qualities I suppressed growing up, but have since come to embrace. They were everything I wanted to be, but too scared to commit to while still not out.

Older generations might classify Cher, Judy Garland, Bette Midler, Bette Davis, Donna Summer etc as their gay icons.

But there’s an emergence of young, out and proud artists who are unapologetically LGBTI.

Of course, this is wonderful news, but is there an expectation to only lift up LGBTI artists as gay icons? Similarly, men can be feminists but the masses may not warm to the idea of Justin Trudeau being the feminist icon of our generation.

Definitions of gay icons

By its very definition: ‘A gay icon is a public figure (historical or present) who is embraced by many within lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities.

‘Some of the main qualities of a gay icon often include glamor, flamboyance, strength through adversity, and androgyny in presentation.

‘Such icons can be of any sexual orientation or gender; if LGBT, they can be out or not,’ Wikiwand states.

This is certainly true for Kylie Minogue. I saw her live in concert and was instantly in love. The costumes were crazy and her fans were even crazier.

She has a longstanding commitment to the LGBTI community and even refused to get married to her partner until same-sex marriage was legal in Australia.

She’s also overcome breast cancer and heartbreak, with the tenacity of a fighter. She’s loyal to her LGBTI fanbase, through her natural charm and unbelievably positive attitude.

She told the Advocate: ‘I didn’t become a gay icon or become popular in the gay community for doing something specific. That happened just because I was being myself.

‘When I’m on tour, I think there’s a little bit of everything there. From a row of muscle Marys and drag queens to dads, moms, grandmas, and three generations of girls – everyone is there,’ she said.
I could go on, but I digress.

The definition continues by explaining the historical aspect of gay icon status. It says gay icons were typically elevated to the status because their sexuality remained a mystery. This was certainly true for Marlon Brando and James Dean.

This reluctance to live free and openly is on the decline, as newer generations grow up on out and proud celebrities.

No one can tell you who you idolize is wrong

This shift in mentality proves a strong shift in the definition, so it’s really up to you as an individual.

Gay icons are a personal choice. There will never be one universal icon that the whole LGBTI community agrees on.

You and your collective group of friends may consider someone a gay icon, but you cannot tell a whole generation who their gay icon should be.

So if you want Ariana Grande as the gay icon of your generation, go for it. But if you want to raise the voices of queer artists, then by all means, give the title to someone like Troye Sivan or Sam Smith.


Heck, these days even a cult horror movie character, Babadook, can be a gay icon. You do you.

SOURCE: GAY STAR NEWS

Tuesday, July 25, 2017