I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011


There are moments when I feel
driven to tear through the career surface of things and expose the rage, fear,
greed, envy and lust that quietly lurks in the shadows of my being. 

In order to
accommodate these dark, corrosive feelings, I've decided to embrace that which
is bigger than me and see where it takes me.

I get that life can’t always be
what I think it should be and for me that means that I will often come across
passages of my life that has to re-written or simply thrown out. 


Take your typical female who moans N’ groans while
pleasuring her co-star as he make her gag till her makeup starts running, as
young man (sans the homosexuality) this excited me to NO end;
but as fully grown gay man, I find that I have to search deep and long (pun
 for a good porn worth watching. I find that while sex should
be all about what gives the people who are engaging in it pleasure, porn is
the TOTAL opposite of that.

Why is it when
people have sex on camera for money they’re doing a job, and what they do isn’t
designed to turn them on, it’s designed to turn on the viewer  and to
make the director and editors jobs easier?
 Porn isn’t a document of two (or
 people having pleasurable sex, its one person’s idea of what
will titillate us. Don’t believe me? I dare you to deny
how PERFECT their bodies look naked…and moving.


Most porn is made
in a vacuum: 
Real life sexual experiences happen in a social context. Whether it’s
your first or thirty-first time, every time you have sex you bring your past
experiences and your values to bed with you. Porn has none of this. The vast majority
of mainstream pornography is made by a small, insulated, and surprisingly
sexually unsophisticated group of people in southern California. Sexual
behavior can be an incredibly complicated form of human communication and
interaction. Pornography isn’t.

Just like in
Hollywood, those bodies aren’t exactly real:
 You should never compare your body to
what you see in porn. For starters, porn actors are chosen in part for their
physical attributes. The average penis size among male porn stars is not representative
of anything in the general population. As well, because many female actors
still make the majority of their money by stripping, plastic surgery remains
ubiquitous in the adult entertainment industry.

Sex positions for
the camera:
 The sexual positions you
see in porn are chosen for a few reasons including visual variety and what will
allow the camera greatest access to all the hidden parts. Sex positions in porn
don’t represent what’s most popular in the bedrooms of America, or even what is
innovative in terms of offering more sexual stimulation. In fact some sexual
positions you see in porn are clearly uncomfortable for one or both of the

Porn is meant to
shock and excite:
 The kinds of sexual behaviors you see in porn are not based on
any idea of what people actually do in their bedrooms; they are based on what
will excite and often shock the porn viewer. They are also based on the
pornographer’s need to “prove” to the viewer that actual sex is taking place.
Thus external ejaculation is a required element of visual pornography, even
though this is not necessarily a common part of the sexual repertoire.

Porn editors have their
work cut out for them:
 Most porn scenes are not shot continuously from the first ring of
the doorbell (enter the pizza delivery boy) to the last silly line “Next time
I’ll remember to order extra sausage!”.
There are constant breaks and
interruptions during the shooting of a single scene, and they may even shoot
some elements out of order. The end result is that what you see, the order you
see it in, and how long it all takes, is often determined by the editing and
not the actual sex that took place.


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