I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, June 6, 2013


What the hell is "straight-acting?" I suppose, since I spent much of my life in various insecure stages of denial, suppression, hiding, self-judgment and self hatred and acting out the stereotypes, myths and misconceptions of being "straight" I was at one time indeed "straight-acting."

Now, when I see gay men state that they are "straight-acting" on the net, I sometimes ask them: "If you were 'straight-acting' wouldn't you be posting in the 'men seeking woman' (m4w) section or on Adam 4 Eve?" Too many of us (gay men) place each other into the "straight-acting" or "effeminate" box and I often wonder why. Moreover should we labeling each other? And if we don’t, how else would we define each other?

How about we don't have to call it anything, perhaps we could just accept that we humans come in a wonderfully interesting and diverse array of personalities, traits, behaviors and ways in which we innately desire and crave to experience and express love and sex. The very word "effeminate," when applied to gay men, seems to suggest that they’re "not like a man" but "more like a female," and therefore plays right into myths, misconceptions and stereotypes of what is "masculine" and what is "feminine."

It's time to drop the stereotypes, drop the labels, drop the myths and misconceptions of manhood, and start embracing and accepting people, all people, for who and what we are starting with and including (and perhaps most importantly) ourselves! I don’t “act” straight/gay, I am just, a guy who happens to be emotionally and physically attracted to men. Yes, I know, sounds pretty gay, and indeed it is!


  1. Amen. we really must not judge one another too. down to labels.

    1. we need to STOP hurting each other!

  2. Hi dear, thanks for always visiting my blogs, you accept exchange links? I added your link under my

    "Friend Blog List" already. ^__^

    1. Hi, we accept links and followers here, we've been following your blogs for a while now :-)

  3. I won't criticize guys who are uncomfortable about 'flaming' in public. I don't, my partner doesn't and I feel that it presents an undignified and stereotypical image to "THEM".

    IMHO, In private, I don't see how this is any different from Older/Younger, "Not fats, no fems", Sub/Dom, "If you can't get it up and keep it up, dont call yourself a Top", etc.etc ad nauseum. Guys are entitled to like/not like according to their individual prejudices and perversions.

    It has been said before and I will say it again, that I'd rather know right up front who the asswipes are so that I don't waste my time and energy having to tell them to f*uck off later.

  4. Straight acting... That would be solely into fucking women, right? Why the hell would a gay man want that;). I don't see any action as straight or gay other than, well, sex.



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