When it comes to hooking up online, everybody’s done it. While we know some of you thots have hookups that were super hot, the recent murder of a local gay man in Philly by a hookup he met on Grindr has everyone on edge. We’re sex-positive in these parts, and we figure if you’re gonna do it we may as well give you a few pointers on how to stay safe, so here are five ways you can be safer while hooking up online.
1. Let A Friend Know What’s Going On
If you’re the type of guy who can find a Grindr hookup while walking from one avenue block of your gayborhood to the next, chances are that you’ve probably got a friend that is equally as friendlyas you are. So, why not take advantage of him? Take a screenshot of your next hookup’s face pic (because we know you’re not hooking up with someone without receiving a face pic first) and text it along with the address to your partner with a note that you’ll text him as soon as you’re done so he knows that you’re safe. The bonus is that you’ll totally have a record of all your hookups, someone to talk to them about and a printable face photo to put on the dartboard in case he ever decides to be a dick and block you. This is what we call a win-win situation.
2. Know How To Protect Yourself
If you’re a 5’6 twink who just happens to be into muscle daddies, you’ve got to be aware that you’re at a physical disadvantage going into the situation. We’re pretty solid over in these parts, and can still remember hooking up with plenty of guys that had at least 25 lbs and 4 or 5 inches (in height) on us. As a gay guy in 2014, you need to know how to protect yourself, and lucky for you there are plenty of opportunities to learn how to do so.
Velvet Gloves is one of the only boxing groups that caters specifically to gay men, but nobody says your life has to be all gay all the time. So, check out regular boxing classes, krav maga, and even some basic self-defense courses that can be found in pretty much every city. If you’ve ever got to take down someone who is being a little bit too aggressive, you’ll be glad you did.
3. Avoid Anonymous Encounters
Some guys are very into the anonymity of a total stranger coming in to plow them (or being the stranger doing the plowing), but we have to say that this is probably one of the most dangerous things that you can do while hooking up online. If you think it’s an A+ idea to have your head buried in the pillow and leave your door unlocked while waiting for a complete stranger to enter your apartment (and you), then get over it. Now.
Engaging in this particular type of hookup leaves you more open to robbery and sexual assault, and leaves you in the most vulnerable position you could be in. If this is really your thing, engage in it with a trusted bud and make it a part of the fantasy so you can have the hot sex with only the idea of the danger.
4. Trust Your Gut
On a message board we frequent there was a truly harrowing post from someone who got a really creepy feeling from a guy trying to pick him up at a bar. That guy turned out to be Jeffrey Dahmer. You know, the psycho who killed multiple gay men before dining on their flesh? Of course, those were days long before Grindr, Jack’d and the other apps, but even when you’re talking to a guy online your instincts can tell you whether or not there’s a “creep factor” that you can’t shake off. If you get even a hint that there is something not right about the situation, don’t go. Grindr has a seemingly endless parade of pole and hole, so we’re quite sure a little hunting will find you someone you can be comfortable and horizontal with.
5. Have A Regular Online Buddy
OK, so if you’re doing the Grindr (or Jack’d or Scruff or Squirt) thing, then obviously there is always going to be the awkwardness of meeting a hookup for the first time. However, if the sex is superhot and you’re both into making it a regular thing, then why not use the app to reconnect with your bud? You’ve obviously passed both the chemistry test and the “is he or is he not a cannibal psycho?” test, and since you’re both smart enough not to try to make a boyfriend out of an online hookup then you’re left with someone who can be trusted on some level that you have really hot sex with.
Here’s the dirty little secret about hooking up: most guys actually want a regular bud to hook up with, even if they’re not looking for a boyfriend. So have fun “auditioning” guys, and when you find one or two or ten that you click with, go ahead and put them on the team. A properly vetted online bud can nullify the need for all of the previous rules, so keep your eyes (and other things) open for a good one to keep in the stable. It’ll save you a lot of stress in the long run.
So there are five tips to keep you safe out there in the wonderful world of hooking up. Feel free to share your own in the comments section.