¿IS BEING PROMISCOUS SOMETHING GAY SHOULD REALLY BE ASHAMED OF?

I love sex as much as the next gay man. Even though I am not single, I still very much the joy of my partner’s company. I love cuddling, kissing, caressing and talking with him naked in my bed. When I was single and having sex, I always prided myself in being as safe as possible and have always been fully educated on sexual health. To sum it up, I’ve been a real slut and happy for it.

Sex is a double-edged sword in the gay community, but it never used to be. I remember a time when my friends and I rarely thought twice when one of us left the club with a man. Now, I sense the slightest bit of hesitation as gay men today are scared to express their love for sex out of fear of being judged, even though we all know it’s a pile of sh*t. We love sex. It’s what we prided ourselves in during the sexual revolution but since we’ve become more accepted into society, we started shaping our community by their rules. We talk of sex, we dream of sex, we know everyone around us is having sex, yet, we hide our Grindr or Tinder whenever someone sneaks up behind us, we underexpose our sexual fantasies to our friends, and we’ve become much more prudish than ever before.

Being promiscuous used to be something abhorrently clear in the gay community. Now, it’s a stereotype many of us fear. There are plenty of ups and downs when it comes to being too promiscuous and I am well aware. A lot of guys desensitize themselves from it, making it harder to find an emotional connection during sex. But there are just as many guys who find casual sex a helpful tool, a means to get the tension out of their system so they can save their emotional juices for someone they care about. Either way, the effects of promiscuity are in the eyes of the cruiser I say.