I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, March 26, 2015


It comes at no surprise that the world trains us to be insecure. Everywhere we go we see tons of pictures of guys flexing, bending over, selling products and making us believe we want them – yes, even on sites like this. Never in a million years do we ever think that it could actually happen, but when it does, we’re quick to start second questioning his motives.

When a man you think is “out of your league” becomes interested in you, how do you handle it? If you’re like me, it comes in three phases: the first is denial, second is awkward silence, and the third is pushing him away. When something good happens to anyone, we often skip straight to the bad – “He’s too good to be true” “I don’t deserve him” “It’s never going to last” “He’d be much better suited for my best friend, who’s more attractive than me” – this kind of thinking needs to stop right now. It’s like a kid saying no to a free ice cream bar because he’s so used to eating pop tarts. When something surprising happens, take it. You’ll have more regret if you do the alternative.

This is what our society has come to. When the man of our dreams enters our lives, we always develop an idea that we don’t deserve him. Gay culture has squeezed us all into a label box and we’re subconsciously forced to play with other guys of the same caliber. Twinks, jocks, bears, poz, otters, etc. the gay community is slowly turning into a high school cafeteria where everyone is sitting within their assigned group – God forbid anyone crosses the other side for a sample.

Look around. Most of society dates inside their realm of hotness (this has been tested by researchers in recent years). Gay guys are no different, but because we are consistently bombarded with a shared standard of beauty – we’re all men – it’s almost impossible to consider anyone as “hot” unless they fit the prototype. Those of us who don’t are left to envy, myself included.

I have no qualms with admitting that I’ve envied countless of men because I know everyone is guilty of the same thing. We envy what we “think” they have – an easier life, attention, respect, entitlement. We place hot people so high sometimes it’s impossible to reach them. They become god-like, so much so that when one shows attention to us it’s as if it’s unreal. We’ve become comfortable being separate; we’ve become comfortable with the idea of segregation based on physical beauty that we’re scared of what might happen if we find each other.

It’s hard to believe, but yes, there are hot people in this world who aren’t self absorbed. When they look at you, I promise they’re not thinking “Oh, I’m so much more attractive than he is” or “Oh, I’ll definitely be the hotter one in the relationship.” That might be what you’re thinking, though. Perhaps it’s time to start living on a more fair and balanced perspective.

If you look in the mirror and the first thing you do is compare yourself to others, it’s time to change your outlook. It’s a hard process but at some point it’s necessary. A fantastic man took notice of something inside you you’ve always known you had. Why is this a bad thing? The last thing you want is to disappear into a cloud of putdowns.

A man saw what’s beneath your skin, now it’s up to you to see what’s beneath his.



  1. If you don't want him, send him over to me!!!!!!! Hugs, Patrick

    Thanks for your visits and comments!

  2. To me, being gay is a curse. I hate to be gay. the gay world requires us to be physically perfect . At this point , I think the straights are happier . I 'm not an ugly guy , but I'm the normal type ... I have attraction to normal guys like me, but I can not have a relationship with other guys...

    1. sounds like you have to shut the world out and go within :-)



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