At this point in the
season RuPaul’s Drag Race feels a little bit like the presidential primaries.
Supporters are deeply entrenched behind their hopeful, every contender has
their pros and cons and there is so much flagrant racism going around it is
honestly boggling my mind.
This time
it’s a presidential take on smear the queer, with the remaining queens being
paired up to create attack ads for their rival drag presidential candidates.
Stop relying
on that body politic, and see how the queens did in our rankings below.
Before we get
to the videos, let’s start with tonight’s mini-challenge. The queens had to
decide whether Andrew Christian models preferred the top or bottom … bunk! Was
there even a winner? Who cares! Just a little eye candy and a gentle reminder
that Andrew Christian models are all bottoms. Mostly. Like we didn’t already
know that, since like 70 percent of AC undies are completely bareass. Not
that I spend an inordinate amount of time browsing the website or anything.
One more
thing before we get to the queens. The winner this week? Thomas Roberts. The
openly-gay news man added some “gravitas” to the judging panel (and the pants
of viewers around the country).
In addition
to the attack ads, the ladies had to pay homage to Detox’s headline-grabbing season-five
finale look. The black-and-white results were 50 shades of fierce, even if
tonight’s shocking elimination has got me feeling blue.
Now, onto our
rankings!
1. I sure hope
they’ve got that crown ready in Bob’s
size, because it seems like nothing’s going to stop her. Her political ad
packed in the most punchlines, and she shined brighter than Derrick even in Ms.
Barry’s ads. I agree with Michelle that it’s time to see some real,
over-the-top glamour from Bob, but, now that the gauntlet has been thrown down,
Bob is too savvy to disappoint.
2. Kim Chi’s inventive looks and underdog spirit
make her a lock for Top 3. (Then again, I would have said that about Thorgy
before tonight, so who knows!) That mime character tonight was fantastic, even
if her attack ad was a flop. It wasn’t so much her diction, but it was just poorly
written. (Props for that “no fats, no femmes, no Asians” joke, though.) If
previous seasons are any indication, we’ll likely get the “ball” challenge next
week, which means multiple runway looks for Kim to shine.
3. Gee, guys, I
don’t know. Naomi Smalls? She’s kicked up her drag a few notches,
slaying the runway lately, and her performances in the last few challenges have
been exceptionally competent. She picked the right time to turn up the heat,
and things are looking good for Naomi to slip into the top 3.
4. Oh Thorgy,
yowza. That was a mess! It’s a shame, because Thorgy is clearly so talented and
lovable. I just wish she didn’t get so caught up in her head. (Her jealousy of
Bob was also getting super tiresome.) When the lip sync began, I immediately
thought Thorgy had it in the bag (a more dramatic, lower-energy song seemed to
favor Thorgy’s elastic face and theatrical tendencies). Once Chi Chi’s jewels
spilled onto the runway, though, Thorgy got overly cautious, allowing Chi to
really steal the show. She didn’t deserve to go before Chi Chi or Derrick, and
it makes me more and more mad that we had to deal with Naysha twice.
5. It’s a good
thing Chi Chi is so good at lip syncing, or else she would’ve
been sent home long ago. That campaign video was just not of the same caliber
as her competitors. Michelle said this was the best Chi’s looked on the runway,
but I don’t agree. I thought her look was basic, and her black and white makeup
looked like some Halloween amateur nonsense. I feel like I’ve been saying this
for weeks, but Chi Chi’s days are numbered.
6. OK, is Derrick
Barry just trolling me personally now? After dragging the Britney
impersonator for weeks over his ignorant, tone-deaf racial
“humor” and comments, he literally portrays Bob as a thief in a
black hoodie? Are you serious? I just want Derrick off my TV now. I don’t even
think he was that great “pretending” to be some judgmental, racist politician
(and it doesn’t seem like it was too much of a stretch to be a psychopath
monster in Bob’s ad). His runway makeup was only alright, even if that dress
transformation was a good move. (He couldn’t even wear a black dress down the
runway! I’m kidding! Sort of!) Even if I force myself to put all his
ignorance aside, I just find Derrick generally stilted and underwhelming. Not a
single look has been a knockout, and she’s only got Bob to thank for her win
tonight.
How would you
rank the queens this week?
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