Even the sexual act itself is
not enough to quench our thirst. The genitalia might rub against one
another, but when there’s no friction between two gay men’s heart, the spark of
love cannot be ignited. Love is so much more than bed gymnastics and
the temporary pleasure that is derived from the short-lived
experience of physical orgasm. Hence our obsession with
sex: despite the amount of sex we have, most are
never satisfied and desire more of it, because sex in itself is not what
we truly want. What we deep down desire is to love and be loved and
sex cannot substitute for that. Sex can provide only a momentary
illusion of love by helping bring two bodies together, but it does not have the
power to bring together two hearts that are distanced from one
another. And as long as the hearts are separated, sex cannot provide us with
anything more than perhaps a glimpse of what we’re actually searching for.
When
two hearts are united, however, sex takes a totally different form — it
becomes an expression of love. Through sex, two lovers can communicate their
being with body and soul — that is, with the totality of their being.
Having said that, sex is not necessary for love to exist — love can stand on
its own feet, without needing the crutches of sex. But sex can become a
love play between two lovers, an orgasmic dance where two persons
celebrate together, sharing their experiences of ecstatic joy.
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