Pages

I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.

Followers

Monday, July 11, 2022

πŸ€” CAN STRAIGHT PEOPLE CALL THEMSELVES QUEER WITHOUT BEING APPROPRIATIVE 🀨 IT'S COMPLICATED πŸ₯΄


Plainly put, yes, someone who is straight can indeed be queer, so long as they are not cisgender or not allosexual.

To contextualize why, Hamel suggests considering those who are transgender or intersex. When the word queer was reclaimed, “it wasn’t just LGB folks who were doing the work,” he says. “It was the entire LGBTQIA+ community,” including those folks. With this in mind, some people—particularly those who are trans or intersex—might indeed be both queer and heterosexual.

Similarly, there are the folks who are aromantic, demisexual, asexual, greysexual, or fraysexual who are queer because they experience attraction in a way that is not exclusively heterosexual. Some of these people may identify as straight because if and when they experience attraction, they experience it towards people of a dissimilar gender from their own.

Someone who is transgender might identify as straight…they don't identify as queer because of their sexuality, but because of their gender.

For another example, someone who is transgender might identify as straight if they are attracted to people with genders different from their own. In other words, they don't identify as queer because of their sexuality, but because of their gender.

It’s also crucial to point out that not all people who were assigned one gender at birth and now identify as another, identify with the label transgender. And not all people in that experience identify as queer. “The only way to know how someone identifies is for them to tell us,” says Hamel.

Can someone heterosexual, cisgender, and allosexual ever be queer?

It’s complicated. There are cisgender, allosexual, heterosexual folks who want to identify as queer because they belong to the kink community or are polyamorous. In looking at both the way folks in non-monogamous relationships are treated by (monogamous) society and the definition of kink—any sexual activity that is seen as non-normative—it makes sense why someone in either of these communities might want to identify as queer.

However, many queer folks believe that people who are cisgender, heterosexual, and allosexual shouldn't identify as queer. As Dr. Maroon explains it, you don’t have to identify as queer if you’re on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, but you do have to be on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum to identify as queer. “In my opinion, identifying as LGBTQIA+ is a prerequisite for identifying as queer,” she says. “If you are not those things, it would be more accurate to call yourself a queer ally.”

"Identifying as LGBTQIA+ is a prerequisite for identifying as queer,” she says. “If you are not those things, it would be more accurate to call yourself a queer ally.” —anthropologist Bahiyyah Maroon, PhD

The reasoning is that those who are LGBTQIA+ have likely experienced the negative effects of their identity, including discrimination, poor medical care and compromised health, and increased risk of depression, suicide, and self-hatred. And if someone who hasn't had to deal with those challenges describes themselves as queer, it may be seen like an affront to those who have faced hardships. In short: It would be a form of appropriation.

The problem with saying who can and who cannot identify as queer in this way is it risks becoming identify gatekeeping. In the context of gender and sexual identity, gatekeeping is the act of policing who can use certain identifiers for themselves, says Gabrielle Alexa Noel, queer activist and founder of Bi Girls Club. “The result of gatekeeping is that it disconnects a person from their identity. It can be an incredibly disembodied experience," she says.

That’s why Wright likes to say that anyone who understands the history of the word and feels that the word describes them may be queer. To put further limitations on who is and is not queer runs the risk of gatekeeping, she says.

Ultimately, someone absolutely can be straight and queer. But which straight folks should take on the label is a matter of historical understanding and discretion.

SOURCE: WELL & GOOD


No comments:

Post a Comment