To
contextualize why, Hamel suggests considering those who are transgender or
intersex. When the word queer was reclaimed, “it wasn’t just LGB folks
who were doing the work,” he says. “It was the entire LGBTQIA+ community,”
including those folks. With this in mind, some people—particularly those who
are trans or intersex—might indeed be both queer and heterosexual.
Similarly,
there are the folks who are aromantic, demisexual, asexual,
greysexual, or fraysexual
who are queer because they experience attraction in a way that is not
exclusively heterosexual. Some of these people may identify as straight because
if and when they experience attraction, they experience it towards people of a
dissimilar gender from their own.
Someone who is
transgender might identify as straight…they don't identify as queer because of
their sexuality, but because of their gender.
For another
example, someone who is transgender might identify as straight if they are
attracted to people with genders different from their own. In other words, they
don't identify as queer because of their sexuality, but because of their
gender.
It’s also
crucial to point out that not all people who were assigned one gender at birth
and now identify as another, identify with the label transgender. And not all
people in that experience identify as queer. “The only way to know how someone
identifies is for them to tell us,” says Hamel.
Can someone
heterosexual, cisgender, and allosexual ever be queer?
It’s
complicated. There are cisgender, allosexual, heterosexual folks who want
to identify as queer because they belong to the kink community or are
polyamorous. In looking at both the way folks in non-monogamous relationships
are treated by (monogamous) society and the definition of kink—any sexual
activity that is seen as non-normative—it makes sense why someone in either of
these communities might want to identify as queer.
However, many
queer folks believe that people who are cisgender, heterosexual, and allosexual
shouldn't identify as queer. As Dr. Maroon explains it, you don’t have to
identify as queer if you’re on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, but you do have to be on
the LGBTQIA+ spectrum to identify as queer. “In my opinion, identifying as
LGBTQIA+ is a prerequisite for identifying as queer,” she says. “If you are not
those things, it would be more accurate to call yourself a queer ally.”
"Identifying
as LGBTQIA+ is a prerequisite for identifying as queer,” she says. “If you are
not those things, it would be more accurate to call yourself a queer ally.”
—anthropologist Bahiyyah Maroon, PhD
The reasoning
is that those who are LGBTQIA+ have likely experienced the negative effects of
their identity, including discrimination, poor
medical care and compromised health, and increased risk of
depression, suicide, and self-hatred. And if someone who hasn't had to deal
with those challenges describes themselves as queer, it may be seen like an
affront to those who have faced hardships. In short: It would be a form of
appropriation.
The problem
with saying who can and who cannot identify as queer in this way is it risks
becoming identify gatekeeping. In the context of gender and sexual identity,
gatekeeping is the act of policing who can use certain identifiers for
themselves, says Gabrielle
Alexa Noel, queer activist and founder of Bi Girls Club. “The
result of gatekeeping is that it disconnects a person from their identity. It
can be an incredibly disembodied experience," she says.
That’s why
Wright likes to say that anyone who understands the history of the word and
feels that the word describes them may be queer. To put further limitations on
who is and is not queer runs the risk of gatekeeping, she says.
Ultimately,
someone absolutely can be straight and queer. But which straight folks
should take on the label is a matter of historical understanding and
discretion.
SOURCE: WELL & GOOD
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