I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, July 21, 2022



We gay men who are HIV negative very often feel that way about our brethren who are HIV positive. We treat them, collectively, as something we would cut away from ourselves if we could.

From the time too many of us become sexually active, we live in total fear of HIV. We don’t want it to be apart of our lives, we trained ourselves to think that the men we slept with “might have it.Some of us make sure that friends had condoms before they left the bar with anyone “we don’t know” and on the day after the night before asked them if they’d been “safe.” Do you think you many of us reminded each other to get tested and would pester our friends if they were “overdue” because we want to live in a world of gay men who were HIV negative because gay men with HIV were irresponsible, immoral and a threat to “the rest of us?

I hope that eventually, many of us will become of what a self-centered bigots we are. The things we say, the attitudes reflected and the ways we behaved are still used to stigmatize gay men who are HIV positive. We all know what it feels like to have sex and asked ourselves, “should I be worried?” “What if I had it? What would I do?.

I’d like to think we will get better with dealing with HIV but…When will we recognize the hatefulness and the damage that stigma causes? I’ve seen it in the eyes of men, sensed the anxiety of knowing & not knowing yet…We should know better. HIV is a part of our lives because gay men who are HIV positive are part of our lives. They are our chosen family members and we owe it to one another to fight the general bigotry against HIV that persists in gay culture and to accept that every one of us is able to be with a man who makes us happy...regardless of his status.

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