I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, January 8, 2015


The ignorance surrounding homosexuality is practically inescapable.

“You can pray the gay away.”

“It’s just a phase.”

“You’re confused.”
You’re choosing to be this way.”

We’ve heard it all before; cue Sunshine Anderson.

Now despite the fact that anyone with some semblance of sense knows that being gay is by no means a choice, let’s entertain the peanut gallery and pretend for a moment that sexuality orientation is, in fact, a personal choice. If so, what choice would you make?

Sure, many of us who identify as LGBTQ are finding ourselves increasingly more comfortable with our sexuality; however, I’m certain there was a time when many of us lamented the fact that we were attracted to individuals of the same-sex. Without fail, identifying as LGBTQ comes with a bevy of crosses to bear: coming out to family and friends, trying to navigate through your first same-sex relationship, embracing the scrutiny of PDA and, to be frank, figuring out where you fit in (if you catch my drift). So if someone offered you reprieve from all of the above-mentioned situations, would you take it?

As I continue on my steadfast path to the big 3-0, I often wonder how much different my life would be if I were a straight man. For instance:

  • Heterosexual individuals don’t have to address their sexuality umpteen times; I feel as though I’m “coming out” just about every other week in some way, even if it’s in an indirect manner.
  • Heterosexual individuals don’t have to ponder who’s proposing to whom if, and when marriage is on the table; in fact, just yesterday I was discussing this exact topic with a friend (who also happens to be gay), and the idea of same-sex marriage proposals (who does the proposing???) stupefies us both.*
  • Heterosexual individuals typically don’t have to relegate themselves to performing constant dog and pony shows devised to veil their sexual orientation (e.g., taking a girl to the homecoming dance, when clearly you’d rather be with the guy who you covertly flirted with in English class).

By no means is my woeful cry meant to be a diatribe against heterosexual individuals; we all have issues that we have to embrace, irrespective of our sexual orientation. However, as gay individuals, we deal with a host of issues that I’m certain most straight people don’t invest even an ounce of time or thought. Compound the issues that have been outlined with geography (clearly, the South and the Great Plains aren’t exactly gay-friendly), and even the most grounded individual will find that his head is spinning.

Can I get a witness?

Be that as it may, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sure, there are times that I feel like I’m going to suffocate from the barrage of thoughts this brain of mine churns out, but I’m sure that is the case for most people. Not to mention, taking the road less traveled often turns out to be infinitely more rewarding than taking the easy way out. I’ll just buckle up and enjoy the ride.

After all, that which does not kill us makes us stronger, right?



  1. No! It is a "GIFT" of nature! But if you could choose, would you change things?

  2. obviously homosexuality is not a choice, but I agree with Lord Patrick: it's a gift!



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