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Monday, January 26, 2015

COPING WITH BEING THE THIRD WHEEL WHEN ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE COUPLED UP

I once thought that everyone looked at coupling and the single life the same way I did. Now after numerous conversations with my peers over the simplest things regarding the two subjects, I now see that I was wrong. As a matter of fact, the commentary I get reminds me that some views on relationships haven’t changed since the “Sex and the City”era.

There are days when I would randomly talk to my peers at the coffee shop or online Facebook chats about my life as a single person. I never using the word “single” in my conversations, but I do talk about what I do when I’m alone to some of my closest friends. I’m a social introvert. I like to be alone a lot, even though I never turn down an opportunity to come to a little get together with some of my closest friends.

It just so turns out that a lot of my friends have a significant other with them.

When it comes to my friends, 98 percent of them have a partner. Whether they are married or in a relationship, they are taken 100 percent. Somewhere down the line, I began to accept the fact that no matter where I was, I would always end up as that one person who comes to a get together alone.

I have been the third wheel on many occasions. One time I went to a dinner with two couples. They thought I felt uncomfortable as the fifth wheel, but I wasn’t. I ordered the food and beer that I wanted. I even asked them questions about their lives together as a couple. I was showing that them being a couple wasn’t a problem with me whatsoever. I actually enjoyed their company and wanted to know more about them if they were willing to share with me.

It took some time for them to realize that, but eventually, they saw that I was comfortable with being the only single person in a room full of taken men and women. But of course, they began asking me what I do when I’m alone since I don’t have a partner. I shared my stories, and a lot of them sometimes wonder if I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown or something. There are a lot of things I do just like couples.

One night, I was drinking a bottle of red wine after finishing homework for class and I was wearing nothing but boxers and roaming around my apartment like a cartoon character when the buzz kicked in. I got to my bed after moving around and watched the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” on my computer. When the movie got to the part where they were in Italy eating pizza in Naples, I began to feel hungry myself for pizza. It was 1:30am and I was drunk in my kitchen, half naked, baking a large homemade pepperoni pizza in my apartment alone.

My peers weighed in after I told that story. They told me that they couldn’t do that alone. At one point, they thought I was crazy.
For me, I was happy about what I did that night. Even though that night would’ve been extra wonderful with someone else in the room, I still treasure moments like that until the day I’m off the market.

I think my conformity to the single life came from growing up as an only child with parents who were workaholics. They were rarely in the house. So I was alone most of my time with my dog, video games, and constant library rented movies. Over the years, I became career focused. I was taught to focus on your career and create my foundation before I ever got the idea of dating someone. It’s that old saying:

“If you don’t know how to be by yourself, what are you going to do with somebody else?”

So for all the single people, enjoy it while you can. Don’t be jealous or embarrassed when you see two people together or alone in a room with other couples. Praise and celebrate with them, and keep the idea that it will happen to you as well.

In the meantime, take yourself out to dinner, have a glass of wine, and show how much you love yourself. Go the movies or rock concert. Take yourself to the club and get turnt up by yourself with friends. Order a gyro and eat it by yourself. Strut your way down your city and feel proud to be single. You know there is someone out for you, but continue having fun until the day that happens.

SOURCE: MUSED MAG

2 comments:

  1. Even when I was in a relationship (my partner died over 8 years ago) we both lived alone in our own apartments. We each had our own 'single' life as well as our partnered life. I miss him terribly but I still get on with my life alone!

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