Resolutions are like
wishful thinking that fades away inevitably as the year’s newness wears off.
Goals are great, but it’s hard to juggle 5-10 new goals when you have a lot of
other things always going on. Instead, focus on one new habit at a time, and
give it your full attention, until it becomes automatic. Then do another new
habit. After a year, you could have 12 new habits, and you’ll be a lot closer
to any goals you might have wanted to reach.
Most people fail at their resolutions because they write
them down, start taking action, and then let themselves quit when things get
hard. But what if you committed to doing the habit of meditation in January, or
you’d have to give up your favorite food for a year? What if you had to pay
$10,000 if you missed two straight days of meditation? Would you stick to the
habit then? Of course you would — because you’d be fully committed. Find a way
to be all in, and you’ll make your habits stick.
Most people try to focus on something
that will take a year to achieve, but you lose motivation, and what if things
change during that year? Instead, focus on one week at a time. That’s a doable
chunk of time — you can do a week at a time, but you can’t really do a year at
a time. And each week, see how you can adapt what you’re doing so that your
method gets better and better over time. Review how you did, find the
obstacles, and plan around them for the next week.
You can do great things on your own, but you’re
much more likely to get them done if you have a group of friends who are
holding you accountable, and who you’re holding accountable too. Hold each
others’ feet to the fire. Root each other on. Hold regular meetings to make
sure everyone is staying on track, and don’t let your crew fall off track.
Many people
get discouraged if they fall off their goals or habits, but that’s because they
have an all-or-nothing mindset. They see failure as evidence that they can’t do
it. Far from it: failure is evidence that things need adjusting. It’s a way to
learn, so that you can get better. Be curious about what will work for you,
about what this new habit will be like (instead of having a preconceived idea),
and about what happens when you make adjustments. See all your successes and
failures as learning, not a sign that you are good or not good. With this
flexible mindset, you’ll be able to weather out any kinds of disruptions,
missteps, obstacles or changes.
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