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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

¿WHOSE ACCEPTANCE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY MATTERS?

I’ve spent the bulk of my life chasing after acceptance, and running the hell away from it once I had some. At the age of 28, it’s finally become clear to me that the acceptance most worth seeking is self-acceptance.

‏We’re born with a need for acceptance by the people who raise us through childhood. In infancy, it’s easy. All we have to do is gurgle and look cute. Bingo: accepted! But as I grew up, I learned that in order to hold on to that acceptance, I had to learn the gender of “boy.” I had to live boy, then man and in so doing, I lost touch with all the fun parts of me. After I accepted myself, life became fun. And my family and I fell back into mutual acceptance.

‏Seeking acceptance causes us to follow the rules of the people whose acceptance we seek. I’ve contorted myself into many mind-boggling identities by going after acceptance at school, in my neighborhood, at church functions, and so on.

‏So, my brothers and sisters, look your greatest fears in the eye, one by one. Determine which is justified and which is prompted by the need for acceptance from someone who’s not you. Solve the real fears, and let go of the need for an acceptance that makes you hurt. You'll thank yourself for it. 

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