SOMEONE TO LOVE ME...

At some point in their lives, most people want to enter into and maintain a serious relationship. Whether you are gay, lesbian or heterosexual, the ultimate goal is to find that special ‘someone’ to spend the rest of your life with.

You may or may not want to get married, or simply be in a committed relationship but finding someone who shares your same goals and dreams in this area can seem almost impossible at times.

The first step you need to take when setting out after this vision is to recognize and understand that every long-term relationship takes time. In this day and age, we have become accustomed to instantaneous results. So many things exist to take the time and effort out of achieving the desired result. Nothing will ever be able to replace the mindset of patience, devotion and commitment at all levels of a relationship to help two people grow together.

What about meeting someone in the first place? First, ascertain who is drawn to you. If you make eye contact with someone you are interested in, smile at him.

If you receive a return smile, say ‘hello’. The friendly approach is the best when meeting someone you are interested in for more than just a quick fling. Try finding a mutual topic of interest to have a light conversation about. Avoid being too straightforward from the start as it can turn chemistry sour.

Watch for small communications that show where things stand. Body language is not foolproof, but can help determine where the interest lies. If he gently makes physical contact with his hand while talking to you, there is probably some flirtation happening. Eye contact is a great indicator of interest. If he casually leans in toward you, that is probably a signal that you are interesting to him.

Take the time to date someone you are considering for a long-term relationship. The chances of a relationship blossoming with the guy you picked up at the bar and raced home for even the most incredibly intimate night are in truth, quite slim. Avoid being sexually direct for a while unless you have both established you are ready to add that aspect to your desired relationship.

Finally, be prepared to face life’s challenges together. No matter what your sexual orientation, each day can bring stress, hardships and disappointments- sometimes from each other. Every couple must be willing to forgive and open themselves up to all types of situations that might challenge them. Levels of commitment can vary greatly in every individual. Make sure you are both looking for the same level of dedication and be willing to openly share your lives. Enjoy your commitment and may you live happily ever after!