We all want to improve our lives and the areas we focus most on are: romance, finances and sex. More often than not, some of these desired commitments take a back seat to others that appear to be less challenging to approach.
Sex lives seem to receive the least attention, but by remembering not to make these five common sexual mistakes, you can have a healthy and sustaining sex life.
1. Keeping quiet about dissatisfaction
When a sexual
experience has been less than pleasurable (see #3!), many tend to keep their
opinions to themselves, but when in a long-term relationship with a partner
this behavior is far from beneficial. Instead of keeping your dissatisfaction a
secret from your beloved, take a stand and make the decision to talk to your
partner about your desire to be completely satisfied by him or her and talk
about ways to solve the issue. Make sure to bring the problem to your partner
in a non-threatening way (telling someone they are inadequate in the sex
department can deflate an ego quickly).
By approaching
the conversation with the desire to make the sexual experience better for both
of you, the less than skilled partner won’t feel as if he or she is being
attacked. Make the commitment to work through the issues with your partner and
educate yourself on what can be done to improve while teaching your partner in
the process.
2. Assuming
Your Sex “Skills” Are The Best
Just because
your skills worked on the last person, doesn’t mean they will work for the next
person too, especially when it comes to sex. Most men and women who enjoy it
say that communication is the best way to make sure your mate is pleased.
Communication
may be basic, but so necessary. Neither one of you can read each other’s mind
during sex, so speak up if there’s something that you want that he’s not
delivering. There are tons of ways to verbalize it if you feel a little tongue
tied, like “It’s so hot when you…” or “I’d love it if you’d try…”
3. Assuming
someone is STD free
STDs are
asymptomatic and most people take on the role of assuming a person is free of
infection because there are no symptoms present, but this is the worst
assumption one can make. Before entering into a sexual experience with a new
partner or with a previous partner that you may have been away from for a
period of time, make the commitment to get tested together not only for your
safety but to have a more pleasurable experience.
4. Assuming
your partner knows how to please you
Both men and
women tend to go into sexual situations assuming the other knows how to put on
the moves to make the experience completely satisfying, but this isn’t always
the case. To ensure your sexual experiences are pleasurable this year, get into the habit of speaking to your partner about your turn-ons and
turn-offs. Let your partner know what he or she needs to do in order to take
you to the place of ecstasy you seek.
Communication
will now and forever be a key component of healthy and satisfying sexual
relations.
5. Ditching
the condom
Too many
people forego the safer sex method and ditch the condom without speaking about
it or without getting tested with their partners. Not only does this put one at
risk for catching an STD but this also puts one at risk for unwanted pregnancy.
Before deciding to practice “skin to skin” sex, speak to your partner about
recent STD results and other birth control options.
STDs are
prevalent in the African-American community especially herpes, HPV, and HIV
which all currently have no published or known cure, according to the CDC, so
choose to practice safer sex.
SOURCE: BLACK DOCTOR
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