I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Monday, August 8, 2022


“I love you.”

I’ve already said it to a handful of my closest guy friends and recently, I decided to say it to more of them. I’m not sure exactly why, but if I had to guess, I’d say COVID-19 and deaths in the family made me open up more. Sure, it shouldn’t take a pandemic to tell people how I really feel, but it shouldn’t take events like weddings or funerals either.

In this COVID-19 reality, the stakes seem higher. With our mortality and fragility feeling more present than ever, there’s a sense of urgency to say and do the hardest, most important things in life. Plus, with my other love languages temporarily obsolete under the circumstances, my words often feel like all I’ve got. So in this time of I can help but wonder why so many of us have a hard saying “I love you” to you each other. More over why do ‘straight’ men have such a challenge with these 3 words.

Isn’t it exhilarating to imagine being so open without hesitation and straight men allowing themselves to feel, give and love more deeply? Despite our cultural progress around gender and sexuality, guys’ relationships — especially those among cisgender heterosexual men — are still at the mercy of homophobia, traditional gender roles and the pressure to exercise true “manliness.”

Why do men both queer and straight still face barriers of stigma about expressing feelings to each other? I get that looking mushy and even appearing gay in some groups can be crippling but how do expect to bring humanity closer?

There’s value and intimacy in “love you” or “I love you, dude,” but how can cis men own those words? I get that many say [‘I love you’] differently or just show it behaviorally instead, but does it translate well?


1 comment:

  1. I think for some straight men, it's a sign of weakness, unnatural & there's a possibility some females could think of them less of a man because of that.

    These are bizzare things I just mentioned but unfortunately true for some men who aren't thinking clearly. Luckily, there's plenty straight guys who are so sure of themselves & comfortable with their sexuality, so being emotional with the same sex is natural to them. πŸ™‚