Whether it’s
an email from your boss, a text from a friend, or a DM from a social media
mutual, being able to read between the lines and see what people mean or what
they’re feeling when they send these messages can go a long way.
One aspect of
life where it’s particularly useful is your love life. As attraction and
romantic feelings can often feel overwhelming and daunting, people often don’t
come out and say exactly how they feel for fear of rejection.
This means
that most of the time, especially for those less romantically experienced,
conversations with someone you have feelings for can be a strange dance around
the actual subject at hand. Those conversing are willing to say everything and
anything but what they actually want to say: I like you.
In order to
help you better gauge when this strange dance is occurring, AskMen spoke to
four different dating experts to help uncover what flirting really is, some
tell-tale signs of flirtation, and things you shouldn’t mistake for the real
deal.
Signs That
Someone Is Flirting With You
It’s hard to
be 100% sure if someone is flirting with you, so the surest sign is really if
they explicitly tell you so.
However,
because the whole point of flirting is expressing interest and attraction
without saying so in clear terms, most flirters are unlikely to do this. While
asking someone outright could garner a direct response, it could also throw the
other person off and ruin what they thought was some fun banter by demanding
explanations.
In either
case, you might not be able to work out the courage to ask, but there are still
ways to tell if you’re being flirted with with at least some degree of
confidence. Here are five classic signs that your crush is, indeed, flirting
with you, in no particular order:
Asking
Questions
Asking
questions is a common indicator of interest that can play a part in flirtation.
Wanting to know things about you — what you think, how you feel, what you’re up
to — is the kind of thing that occurs to people with crushes.
“Giveaways
include asking you a lot of questions, especially about your plans for the
upcoming weekend,” says Barrett, while Sofiya Alexandra, co-host and co-founder
of the Private
Parts Unknown podcast, adds that replying to your texts right
away with follow-up questions is another tell.
This could be
particularly salient if your crush is a guy, since men are often expected to
brag and talk about themselves rather than ask questions and listen.
Giving
Compliments
As flirting
occurs when someone is attracted to you, it often lines up with the giving of
compliments.
If they’re
“complimenting your appearance or traits that they like,” as Barrett puts it,
or giving you “excessive compliments,” as Courtney Kocak, Alexandra’s
co-founder and co-host, does, that’s a “good clue that someone’s flirting with
you,” she says.
Even just
paying “attention to your body/physicality, like noticing [...] outfits,
makeup, or hair style changes is also a solid hint,” says Alexandra. It shows
they care about how you look, even if they’re being more teasing than outright
complimentary.
Teasing or
Playfulness
Which leads to
our next point, as teasing and playfulness are both key components of flirting.
“I love to
tease when I’m flirting, so if someone is gently making fun of you, they might
be into you,” says Kocak,” while Alexandra noted that if someone gives you “a
cute nickname,” that could also definitely be flirtatious.
In addition to
nicknames, Kocak notes that “texting so much that you have ongoing jokes or
you’re building on a funny scenario together is another indication that you
might be involved in a mutual crush.”
Sending Emojis
& Voice Notes
Emojis and
voice notes may not seem like they have a ton in common, but they’re linked by
one common thread: They’re ways for people to express what they’re saying with
a little more emotional context than just text. They elevate a conversation
from just reading words to getting a clearer sense of what the other person is
feeling.
Barrett
mentions “the winky emoji or the heart-eye emoji or the kissy-face emoji,”
while GlittersaurusRex notes that if the flirtation is a bit more sexual, you
might see “the more flirtatious emojis — the tongue or lips.”
“Voice notes,”
for their part, she adds, “are usually a great way to both lead the
conversation more towards flirting or are things that are typically indicators
of initiating flirtation.”
A full-on
phone call might seem old-fashioned or daunting, but voice notes mean you can
hear the other person’s voice, and possibly the excitement in it.
High Frequency
One indicator
that someone might be flirting with you, absent whatever the content of what
they’re saying is, is how often they message you and how quickly they text
back.
If they’re
“texting seemingly out-of-the-blue to ask things like, ‘What are you doing?’ or
‘How’s your day?’,” says Barrett, or “if you’re getting daily ‘good morning,
hope you have a great day’ texts,” notes Alexandra, “that’s a serious clue that
you’re on someone’s mind constantly.”
If the other
person is leaving you hanging for hours or days at a time, they’re probably not
highly motivated to talk, but replying to your messages immediately suggests
they’re excited and engaged in the conversation.
SOURCE: ASK MEN
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