What does this, ignoring the
so-called weak emotions?
It renders us almost incapable
of dealing with emotional trauma, unable to express our emotions, or properly
deal with them. And, in doing so, these unresolved feelings or emotions then
translate into anger because this emotion has been cultivated as a normal response
to trauma, as the correct emotional responses have either been suppressed,
never learned, or completely ignored.
As grown up gay men, with years
of emotional conditioning, it’s difficult to untrain our brain in its, now
natural, response to any emotional trauma. But if we are aware of it, we can
work on it but—and this is a big but—we have the ability to change this for the
next and coming generations.
How do we teach the younger gay
boys that it’s okay to cry; it doesn’t make you weak, it doesn’t make you less
of a man? In fact, if you know how to deal with these traumatic emotions,
without letting them devolve into anger, it actually makes you a better man,
not less of one.
It’s okay to feel hurt, to feel
the pain of betrayal, the feeling of loss, or whatever is causing you emotional
trauma, it’s okay to speak to someone about what you are feeling, to ask for
help, emotional support, or simply just an ear to listen.
Real men don’t cry—absolute
rubbish and an archaic and barbaric mindset.
Real men feel, real men hurt,
real men can deal with this and don’t lash out in anger but instead understand
the pain, accept that it’s real and work through it, a real man is not afraid
to cry.” ~ Douglas Viljoen
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