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Monday, November 23, 2015

5 REASONS NOT TO MOVE IN A WITH A PARTNER

Moving in together too soon can ruin a potentially good relationship. Or it can ruin a potentially good living situation. Be honest with yourself and listen to those gut feelings. Additionally, here are five reasons NOT to move in with a partner…

1.  Financial

Money can be the most tempting reason to move in with someone. Who doesn’t want to cut down on expenses? But that’s what roommates are for. Find one.

2.  He/You needed a place to stay.
You just ended another relationship and now need a place to live. His ex kicked him out and he has no place else to go. He lost his job and his apartment, it would be kind of cruel to leave him out in the cold, right? Actually, these are all bad reasons to move in together. I’ve seen couples go down this path and very few every come out and say it was a good decision. Most regret it. And then, there you are stuck with someone you probably wouldn’t have moved in with had the situation been different.

3.  You're Spending All Your Time Together Anyway
When you first meet someone and start to fall in love, it’s natural to want to spend all your time together. The sex is great and you like waking up to his every morning. But that is just the passion and fire at the beginning of a relationship. You want to make sure the commitment and desire to be together sustains over the long haul.

4.  Pressure from your partner
This is perhaps the worst reason to move in with someone. If you’re not ready to make a commitment, moving in together is not going to change that. He can try and pressure you, accuse you of not really loving him, but until you’re ready to make that leap, you should not jump. It’s okay if you have “commitment issues,” are still working through feelings about your ex or don’t know for sure if you’re ready to take this step with this particular person. All valid reasons not to move in with someone.
5.  You Just Want to Spend All Your Time Together
What? Isn’t that the reason to move in together. Not necessarily. It all depends on why you want to be together. Is it because you’re jealous that he’s going to be hooking back up with his ex and you want him close to keep an eye on him? Are you meshing too much and not maintaining your own separate interests and circles of friends? Or are you each looking to each other to fill a hole in your life? There needs to be a balance in any relationship of independence and commitment. Finding a balance can take time and moving in before you find that balance can spell disaster.

2 comments:

  1. Excellent assessment, my friend! Love and naked hugs! Happy Thanksgiving to you and Noel!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I felt that way but he use telling me we be together we be forever I fall for every time we broke up I feel alone without him he do something the next time I be use by him . He say he love me . He didn't care for me

    ReplyDelete

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