I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, November 12, 2015


Nudity is something that is worshiped in gay culture. In the gayborhoods, a bar isn’t a bar unless you have at least two half-naked dancers on the tops of tables. Though body worship is widespread, is it an act of idolization rather than self-want? We’d much rather someone else show their nipples than for us to do it ourselves. It keeps us safe.

Not that every gay person fantasizes of walking around half-naked. Trust me, I’m the last person anyone wants to see prancing around in a half-tank top. However, I’m beginning to see a trend that fascinates me. When we place nudity (as well as an idea of a “perfect body”) at a high regard, it’s no longer a body. It’s a deity, a goal, and a reminder that this is what we all need to strive for. Seeing a hot naked body might turn us on visually, but underneath the objectification there lies resentment. The naked body has turned into a love/hate relationship that’s become extremely harmful.

The Italians had it right. If anyone’s ever been to Florence, you’ve probably seen the statues lying in its many piazzas. The statue of David, though naked, is more than just a nude body. It’s a representation of beauty and the human spirit. When I look at him I don’t become jealous or envious. I don’t instantly close myself into a bitter shell and curse him for having such a sexy physique. So why do we feel such things when we look at sexy advertisements? A naked body is a naked body so what’s the difference?

To me, fearing nudity is like fearing God. It’s rooted with awareness that “it” is more powerful than we are. The fear comes from a submissive attitude to surrender and worship. A body is no longer a temple, but the perfect excuse to play Survival of the Fittest among our own tribe. People have and continue to do crazy things in effort for their beauty to be adored.

I’ve seen countless of friends gaze at someone’s physique and turn away out of resentment, needlessly zipping up their hoodie. The sight of any kind of skin, though sexually stimulating, can turn into a constant reminder that we’re not nearly as good enough. Marketing is no longer about beating competitors; it’s about making the consumer feel that, unless they buy their product, they’ll always be ugly and unworthy. The one product that bleeds into every aspect of the world is sex. It sells, but sometimes the exchange is more than money.

Our bodies have become the world’s currency. The more “perfect” it is, the more “valuable” it becomes. Seeing someone who looks better than us reminds us how low on the totem pole we are, but the truth is the totem pole doesn’t even exist. It’s made up. It’s a farce. To give your focus on these ideas will only feed the manmade beast of artificiality. There’s no such thing as perfection. It’s the biggest lie we’ve ever created and does more harm than anyone gives it credit for.

I’m raising a question that is seldom thought by gay guys across the world, but it needs to be said. Do we secretly fear nudity? A naked body is turning into something other than sex. There’s a subliminal message existing inside it that’s meant to alter the way we think of ourselves. Nudity’s secret weapon is self-esteem. It tricks us into thinking when we look good naked we’ll feel better about ourselves.

I say, stop trying to reach for self-esteem, instead, aim for esteem. Self-esteem is rooted by the approval of others, whereas esteem is rooted by the approval of our own self.

If you like the way you look, everyone else will too. If you want to change yourself, do it for you and no one else. The best way of fighting fear is to face it with truth, and the truth is everyone is too busy thinking about how they look for you, not how you look to them. Don’t waste your time playing their game. The more comfortable you stand on the foundation of your own making, the more you’ll be removing the veil to see what’s lying beneath the skin.



  1. Although many same gender loving guys see nudity as a state (object) of worship, there are many of us who view social nudity as a way of life. Far too many of us confuse nudity with sexuality, when, in reality, the two are entirely different. Just because some of us prefer living free from the restrictions of clothing, our being bare isn't an open invitation for unwarranted sexual advances. Many of us just enjoy being nude. There is a big difference in being a naturist/nudist and being an exhibitionist. Love and naked hugs, brother!

  2. I have no idea... But, I don't mind the nudity of same sex.
    Maybe time will change that. We'll see. :)