Consensual sex
between gay men happens all the time, so why are there so many lingering
questions in the air when it comes time to hook up? How can we not respond to
the awkward silence in some offhanded way, though it is hard to be blithe and
whimsical when we're attempting to vulnerable and let our guards down for sex?
Though the
hunger for touch does not always involve sex, how can we not be restricted in
our sexual experimentation with the threat that it may obscure finding love?
Moreover how do we know if we’re accessing sex more easily, or delving further
into the sleazier side of sex that many of us subconsciously crave? Are we then
doomed to settle for less?
Sexual
experimentation is healthy, but is keeping it just to an experiment, the key
for us? It’s always fun and sexy to live out your fantasies, but at some point
we have to come back to the real world. At least, if our goal is for a
relationship where emotional and psychological connections are just as
important as sexual, right?
I get this. I love to fly my freak flag. I love to experiment. I am GGG with just about any situation. But those aren't relationships. And those encounters are more akin to exercise than they are to love and life. Relationships that last? They don't necessarily have anything to do with sex. They have to do with a mutual caring. I care about this person's welfare. I deem them worthy of my time and energy. They feed me, I feed them. And sex? Well, it may be about that in the beginning... but eventually? It is about love and caring.
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