HELLO FUTURE LOVE

You might not know me yet, but I’m the love of your life and you’re the love of mine. Wait, wait! Don’t freak out. I’m not a stalker or anything, but I have been looking and waiting for you for a LONG time. You were most certainly a tricky one! Over the years I thought I had you. I fell into you, tried to manipulate you, played games with you, was brutally honest with you and even gave you everything I had to give, but still you managed to slip from my grasp.

Sigh. You ran away so many times I wanted to hate you, wanted to run away from you and never look back, wanted to fight you, kill you and never let you into my life again. Oh, but you had me fooled! You slipped through my fingers not because you wanted to leave me, but because you wanted me to chase you. You wanted to see how dedicated I was to you. You wanted to see if I would get back up and continue my journey if you knocked me down, wanted to see if my faith in you could be shaken or broken, wanted to see how I would treat you when things weren’t going my way, wanted to see if I would give up.

I’ll admit that when you knocked me down I stayed there for a while. I was shaken, sometimes broken and unsure of our future together, unsure of whether or not I could go on. When you didn’t give me what I thought I wanted and needed I cried wondering why you hated me so. But I never gave up on you. After each test I got back up and regained my footing. I glued the broken pieces back together and vowed next time I caught you my hold would last a little longer because now I’m a little wiser and a little stronger. I continued the chase.

Now here we are. Finally. You put me through the paces but I made it through. We made it through. You turned the tables and started chasing me. You showed up in the most unexpected places and at the most unexpected times. You brought with you surprises, gifts and experiences that let me know this moment was worth the wait. No more running, no more tests. This here is the real deal. Love. All the fears I had disappeared. You came with your care, concern, thoughtfulness, respect, guidance, support, friendship and more, to show me that there was never anything to fear at all. You came and showed me that falling isn’t so bad when love is there to pick you up, that hurt will never break me when love is there to ease the pain, that the journey isn’t as long as it seems when love is there right by my side.

All the flaws I tried so hard to “fix” or disguise, you love without hesitation. You don’t blink at my ever-expanding or shrinking waistline, my bad hair days, my weave, wig or natural days, my obsession with even numbers or even my weird bite the peanut M&Ms in half and put them back in the bag habit. Each flaw makes you love me more and in turn I strive to be the best I can be because your love for me as I am makes me love you more. You don’t look for what I lack in others and trade me in for a younger model, oh my love you would never dare.

After searching for what seems like a lifetime you are my dream come true. All the loves I chased and lost before seem so insignificant now that I’ve chased and fallen into you. Your madness matches my crazy and we’re perfectly imperfect together. And now as I stand here in this moment holding you my love, for the first time feeling truly half of a whole and complemented, not completed, watching our future reflect in each other’s eyes, I realize for the first time that you weren’t running…you were looking for me too.