We open with a bloody fight, as
Naevia spars with a man in camp who is soon summoned to see Spartacus himself.
Spartacus is holding a meeting with
his top men, and Naevia’s sparring partner gives Spartacus valuable inside
information about taking a city he wants to infiltrate. Gannicus adds that he
knows a blacksmith in the target city who can be bribed into helping them.
Spartacus, Gannicus and Crixus,
dressed as traders, enter the city, which requires visitors to check their
weapons at the gate.
As the man marked for stoning stands
in chains before the mob, Spartacus passes by. He can’t save the man without
blowing his cover, so he takes the man’s life with a well-placed throw to end
his suffering.
Back in Rome, Marcus Crassus is
planning his pursuit of Spartacus. His son, Tiberius, is eagerly waiting to
take his place at his father’s side.
Just then, Caesar (played by Todd
Lasance) arrives. “Am I to be kept waiting entire f—ing day?” are Caesar’s
first words. Not exactly Shakespeare. This is a younger, buffer Caesar than in
the Bard’s famous play. In Shakespeare’s tragedy, Caesar famously remarks “Yond
Cassius has a lean and hungry look, he thinks too much; such men are dangerous.
In the Starz drama, it’s Caesar himself who has the lean, hungry, dangerous
look. When two of Crassus’s men try to mess with him, he makes short work of
beating them both up until Crassus himself comes to receive him. “Your men
forget themselves!” Caesar says. But the men won’t soon forget Caesar.
Crassus has heard of Caesar’s
victories abroad–and of his insolence and impatience (Caesar sounds a bit like
a young Anakin Skywalker). Caesar has a famous family name, Crassus has the
money. Caesar is also in debt and has many enemies. Crassus offers Caesar a
partnership. “Bring end to slave rebellion,” Crassus says is his purpose. “And
death of Spartacus.”
Let’s pause for a second and talk out
this Caesar thing. What’s he even doing in a series about Spartacus?
Okay, back to the recap.
Gannicus and Spartacus go to see
their inside man, the blacksmith. They pay him and ask him to make them two
swords. He agrees, given how much
they’re paying him.
In disguise, Spartacus goes to see
Laeta to talk about purchasing grain for his slaves. He also meets her husband.
We see Caesar taking a bath
surrounded by naked servants. One has a knife for a strange, unnamed purpose.
He rises glistening from the bath to seduce Kore, one of Crassus’s servant women,
who is not necessarily into it, but they are interrupted by Crassus.
Crassus and Caesar talk strategy–and
agree to work together. Crassus says to beat Spartacus he needs “a wolf” by his
side. Tiberius is secretly listening to all of this, and must know in his heart
he’s more of a puppy dog than a wolf. And since Romulus and Remus, the
legendary founders of Rome, were suckled by a she-wolf, lacking a certain
wolfishness isn’t a good thing if you want to get ahead in the Empire.
The blacksmith has finished his
swords; Spartacus and Crixus confirm that they plan to take the city. The
blacksmith, initially worried for his life, decides to join them.
Crassus’s wife wants to travel with
him to the front lines, but he tells her she needs to stay behind and keep
safe. He then goes to make love to Kore. Even in Roman times, or perhaps
especially then, dudes were still dawgs. “I would find no comfort in her
presences as I would in yours,” Crassus tells Kore about his wife. Spoken like
every husband who has ever cheated on his wife for the last 2,000 years.
The plot to take the city is
launched. All hinges on raising the
city’s main gate; when it goes up, Spartacus’s army is ready to enter. The
blacksmith lures the guards at the gate into an armory; Gannicus and Spartacus
cut down the remaining sentries and begin to raise the gate even as the
imprisoned soldiers hack their way out of confinement. Crixus slips through the
gate first, and then others. Blood spatters the city’s walls like paint on a
Jackson Pollock canvas. In one particularly brutal killing, Gannicus cuts a
man’s head in half.
Laeta is on the run–and runs right
into Spartacus, whom she still thinks is a trader. She’s shocked that he’s
aiding Spartacus. “I stand the man himself,” he reveals.
Back in Rome, Caesar is once again
getting some sort of possibly kinky service from a servant girl that involves a
knife and dripping blood. (I’m told by DeKnight that what’s really going on
will be revealed in a future episode.) Tiberius comes in on them, and Caesar
unashamedly sends the girl away.
The city is a mess. Women and children
lie in pools of blood. “The city is taken,” Spartacus announces. He tells his
people to let the remaining Romans live, though they should be shackled.
Laeta’s husband has barred himself
behind a gate and is threatening to put the city to the torch. Spartacus tells
Laeta to talk her husband down if she wants to spare the lives of her friend
and neighbors, like the baker and his pregnant wife. As she negotiates, Crixus
and Gannicus slip in behind him, and the Roman dignitary ends up with a spear
through his head. Laeta’s been used. “Know that I carry the full weight of your
loss,” Spartacus tells her, saying that he’s also lost family members in the
past. That’s probably not a whole lot of comfort coming from the guy who just
ordered a spear through your spouse’s skull. Spartacus orders Laeta placed in
chains.
Crassus gives Tiberius a command in
his army, and places Caesar beneath him. Tiberius is overjoyed, but Caesar is
pissed because he’s, well, Caesar. (This is a guy who once said “I would rather
be first in a village than second at Rome.”)
“Stay upon path I have set and see
greater glories bestowed at journey’s end,” Crassus tells Caesar.
Crassus then announces to his army
that it’s on like Donkey Kong, but says that in a way that’s less anachronistic
and more eloquent than I just did. Crassus’s men look a good deal more
organized than the horse-eating rabble that pass for Spartacus’s rebel forces.
This War of the Damned isn’t going to end well. Amat victoria curam.
What did you think of the latest episode
of “Spartacus: War of the Damned”?
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