¿HAS LADY GAGA REDEFINED WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A GAY ICON?

From Judy Garland to Britney Spears there have been many women over the years who have been branded with the title “gay icon.” Some, such as Joan Crawford, gained an early gay following due to her struggles both on and off screen, likening her to an underdog with whom many gay men of the time felt they could relate. Others, such as Madonna and Kylie Minogue, have openly embraced their queer fan base performing at LGBT events, supporting gay issues and incorporating queer themes into their videos and live performances.


However, in the short time she has been on the pop music scene, Lady Gaga seems to have set a new standard for those who would wish to qualify as a future gay icon.

Since her first album was released in 2008, Lady Gaga has embraced the gay community and been an advocate for LGBT rights like no other diva before her. In the liner notes of her debut album she wrote, “I will always fight for the gay community…” This was a bold move on her part as many celebrities have shied away from being linked to the gay community at early points of their careers. But Gaga has made her allegiance clear from the beginning and even performed at several LGBT events, such as the NewNowNext Awards and San Francisco Pride in the early months after the release of her first album.


In the days that followed, she promoted the album with live performances in many smaller venues, including gay and lesbian dance clubs.  Her genuine affection for her gay fans was obvious and any who believed otherwise would soon be forced to reevaluate their opinion when Gaga later revealed that she was bisexual in an interview for Rolling Stone. Turns out, Gaga was not only a supporter, but a part of the LGBT community as well. Though some were quick to label her coming out as a publicity stunt, the pop princess only intensified her advocacy in the years that followed and proved that her statements were more than lip service.


If visibility is the first step then Lady Gaga is running a marathon for equality. She has taken every available opportunity to voice her support for gays and lesbians in interviews, during acceptance speeches, and even televised performances.


In 2010 Gaga took a fierce stand against the military’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) policy. Dressed in a frock made of meat, Gaga attended the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards accompanied by four members of the US Military who had each been prohibited from serving due to DADT. When interviewed Gaga stated, “If we don't stand up for what we believe in and if we don't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones.”


The songstress could have stopped there, but she continued her stance against the discriminatory law by releasing 3 videos on YouTube shortly after the awards show. In the videos she encouraged others to contact their senators and urge them to overturn DADT. She then took the fight even further by speaking at the “4the14K”Rally in Portland, Maine where she urged members of the US Senate to repeal the DADT policy.


Since then, Gaga has shown no signs of slowing down her support of the LGBT community. Her latest number-one hit, “Born This Way” is undeniably pro-LGBT and is the first hit song in the US to use the word “transgendered” in its lyrics. She’s also put her money where her mouth is by donating proceeds from the single to anti-bullying charities.


Recently, Gaga has made even more headlines in the crusade for equality by walking away from a lucrative deal with retail giant Target due to the company’s previous donations to an antigay political campaign. And just last week, she encouraged fans to voice their support for marriage equality by contacting state senator Mark Grisanti, who has wavered on supporting marriage equality, with “2000 emails” during an appearance in Buffalo, New York.


Lady Gaga hasn’t merely raised the bar for those who would claim the status of gay icon, she’s completely reinvented the criteria. No longer can a celebrity simply state, “I love my gay fans” and expect the LGBT community to call them an icon. A new standard has been set. And while this shouldn’t detract from those who have worn the title in the past, Lady Gaga has worn it best.

SOURCE: GAY DOT COM

¿DO YOU F&CK LIKE A PORN STAR?

When it comes to bareback porn, do you think it is art imitating life or…?  Many will argue for both sides of this question and that is fine, but I have to wonder when the dust settles, where does the line between fantasy AND responsibility begin? From I knew my gay self; I’ve seen VERY little porn that shows the actors putting on a condom. So either way ‘safe sex’ is a mute point from the porn industry, right? Some say that porn’s role is to entertain, not educate, and I LOVE watching porn that showcases what I do, but I am in a committed relationship. Do you think bareback sex in porn influences real-life behavior or do you think it doesn’t matter since it is just a form of entertainment?

¿TOO MUCH FOR A 'POWER' BOTTOM?

I have been having regular get-togethers with a man who is quite well endowed. I am what I guess could be considered a power bottom, so he always tops me and I'm more than fine with this. My concern is this: Is it possible to do any sort of permanent damage from getting it too often from someone who's big? There was a little blood the first few times but really nothing since. He's a very considerate top and (believe it or not) most times it doesn't hurt at all, even when he first enters. But one day we went at it five times over the course of 12 hours. I'm just wondering if I need to worry about incontinence or any other unpleasantness down the road.

¿WHAT WOULD YOUR RESPONSE BE TO THIS QUESTION?

HOW TO SPOT A GAY GOLD DIGGER

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¡TODAY IS NATIONAL HIV TESTING DAY!

¿DO YOU KNOW YOUR STATUS?

¿DO YOU CARE TO KNOW?

¿ARE YOU GOING TO GET TESTED?

TRUE BLOOD SERIES RECAP

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpPYMHpZwTU]

Are you dying to jump on theTrue Blood bandwagon, but too far behind to catch up on all three seasons before this Sunday’s premiere? HBO has got you covered with this handy dandy five-minute recap clip, seen below.

Not unlike those famously informative Lost catch-up sessions, the cable giant has assembled everything you need to know about Sookie Stackhouse, Bill Compton and the rest of Bon Temps into a nice little package. Now there’s no reason for you to miss out on True Blood‘s special brand of fun.

PLEASE WATCH THE SEASON PREMIER & LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES. MY CABLE COMPANY GOT A NEW HBO PACKAGE & WE WON'T SEE THE PREMIERE UNTIL JULY 10th! 

THE "PERFECT" PASTOR

The perfect pastor preaches exactly 10 minutes.

He [or she] condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone's feelings.

He [or she] works from 8 AM until midnight and is also the church janitor.

The perfect pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church.

He [or she] is 29 years old and has 40 years experience.

Above all, he [or she] is handsome.

The perfect pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he [or she] spends most of their time with the senior citizens.

He [or she] smiles all the time with a straight face because he [or she] has a sense of humor that keeps them seriously dedicated to the church.

He [or she] makes 15 home visits a day and is always in the office to be handy when needed.

The perfect pastor always has time for church council and! all of its committees. He [or she] never misses the meeting of any church organization and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched.

The perfect pastor is always in the next church over!

If your pastor does not measure up, simply send this entry to six other churches that are tired of their pastor, too.

Then bundle up your pastor and send him [or her] to the church at the top of the list.

If everyone cooperates, in one week you will receive 2048 pastors.

One of them should be perfect.

Have faith one church broke the chain and got its old pastor back in less than three months.


¿WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF THE "PERFECT" PASTOR?

REVIEW OF JUMPING THE BROOM

In Jumping The Broom, two very divergent worlds intersect as two African American families from very different socioeconomic backgrounds are brought together for a wedding on Martha's Vineyard. 

Paula Patton stars as Sabrina Watson, tired of the dating scene  she makes a promise to not give,'' away her cookies'', until she meets the perfect man. As fate or maybe accident would have it,she literally runs over Jason Taylor on the street played by Laz Alonso. After a six month whirlwind romance and a job opportunity in China,Taylor proposes to Sabrina. As the impending nuptials arrive, their very different worlds are set for a head-on and explosive collision where secrets are revealed and classism raises its ugly head. This begs the question, will they or won't they jump the broom?

What's Good About the Movie:

It is a funny ,fairly well written and executed movie with some good performances from Angela Bassett ,Loretta Devine and  Paula Patton. 

What's Bad about the Movie:

There were some scenes that felt very forced and unnecessary like the cougar story line with Romeo and Angela played by Tasha Smith or it probably was Romeo's performance that killed it for me.

Overall Grade: A-, It's an entertaining film that will definitely make you LOL while it also tugs at your heartstrings.

DON'T TAKE SAND TO THE BEACH (SUMMER IS HERE)

SHE'S OUT OF MY LIFE

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DQJPL9Yuq0]

"She's Out of My Life" is a song written by musical artist Tom Bahler. Although it has been claimed that Bahler wrote the song about Karen Carpenter, Bahler stated, ""The fact is, I had already written that song by the time Karen and I became romantic. That song was written more about Rhonda Rivera . . . Rhonda and I had been together for two years, and it was after we broke up that I started dating Karen."^[1] The song has been recorded by a variety of artists, including: Michael Jackson, Patti LaBelle, Ginuwine, 98°, Jon Lee, Barbara Mandrell, Nina, Willie Nelson, Josh Groban and Karel Gott (Czech Album: I Love You For Sentimental Reasons, performed in English).

A poignant moment in the song occurs near the end when Jackson begins to break down in tears as he sings the word "life". Given the popular response to his emotional rendition, the song remained in Jackson's live set for many years. Although he had attempted to record the song's last few moments with emotional restraint, after numerous tries he continued to end the rendition the same - by breaking down in tears. Producer Quincy Jones subsequently let Jackson's tearful recording stand:

The song became famous as the fourth single to be released by singer Michael Jackson from his successful Off the Wall album in 1979. It was the first time a solo artist had achieved four top ten hits from one album. Unlike the album's previous singles (which were all dance-oriented funk/disco songs), the "She's Out of My Life" song was an emotional ballad. Jackson's vocals on the record were considered by critics to be some of his best.

She's Out of My Life, I'd been carrying around for about three years—you can feel the pain in it, you know. And I held on to it and finally something said 'this is the right moment to give it to Michael'.

And when we recorded it with Michael, I know it was an experience he'd never even thought about to sing in a song, 'cause it's a very mature emotion. And he cried at the end of every take, you know. We recorded about—I don't know—8-11 takes, and every one at the end, he just cried, and I said 'hey - that's supposed to be, leave it on there.'

—Quincy Jones, Off the Wall 2001 Special Edition, Quincy Jones Interview 3

According to Jackson in Moonwalk, the song is about knowing that barriers separating him from others are seemingly easy to overcome, yet they cause him to miss out on what he really desires.^[2] He said that he cried from the sudden effect of the words because "I had been letting so much build up inside me."^[2] Particularly it reminded him of his feeling of being "so rich in some experiences while being poor in moments of true joy."^[2] He worried about this feeling showing up on the song, but also felt "if it touched people's heartstrings, knowing that would make me feel less lonely."^[2] He described making Off the Wall as "one of the most difficult periods of my life...I had very few close friends at the time and felt very isolated."^[2] He would walk though his neighborhood, hoping to meet people who didn't know who he was, so he could meet "somebody who would be my friend because they liked me and needed a friend too, not because I was who I am."^[2]

The music video for the song features Michael sitting on a stool singing the song. It was directed by Bruce Gowers, who also directed Jackson's video Rock with You, which the video is similar to. "She's Out of My Life" was the final video for the album. The video is one of Jackson's videos that are rarely seen. It is featured on the DVD box set Michael Jackson's Vision.

Jones wanted Jackson to record material with more mature themes and "feel the full range of his voice," so he brought the song to Jackson's attention, whereas he had originally intended to save the song for Frank Sinatra.^[3] Subsequently, the song peaked at #10 in the US on the Billboard Hot 100.^[4] The single was even more successful in the UK and peaked at number 3 on the charts (the equivalent position reached by Off the Wall's debut single "Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough"). A music video was also produced to promote the song, which showed Michael in a blue-green shirt, dark pants, and sitting on a barstool with a spotlight shining behind him.

5 ELIGIBLE GUYS WHO STAY SINGLE

We all know this guy — or are this guy: in his 30s, affable, attractive, and yet he’s never been in a serious long-term relationship. And as his single status stretches into a third decade, one has to wonder: What’s the deal? Far from being undateable, this guy may simply not be ready to change his independent ways. Or, he may be all too willing to do so — but something’s blocking him. If you feel you may fall into the latter category (or know someone who does), stop worrying about what’s slowing you down and read on to learn about how five types of die-hard bachelors contribute to their perpetually single status and what steps to take to break the cycle. 

The workaholic: For the guy who makes work priority number one, a relationship can seem like a hindrance for which he hasn’t the time or energy. It’s likely that he’s set lofty career goals for himself — perhaps finishing medical school, rising to make partner in his law firm or starting his own business — with personal deadlines (say, by age 35). Take it from Doug, 31, of Washington, D.C.: “My main focus is getting to a point in my career where I am stable and accomplished enough to move on to a job that I really want to do,” he says. “I can’t sacrifice or compromise my career path for anyone yet.”

Reality check: Waiting for the “right time” isn’t the solution, according to Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of DSI: Date Scene Investigation. “This guy needs to understand that life doesn’t start when he schedules it,” Dr. Kerner points out. And it needn’t be a lonely climb to the top: rather than derail his career, a supportive mate could provide stability, encouragement and an attentive ear. And for the guy who is working to become husband material, consider this: 91 percent of women in a Match.com survey reported that they tend to fall in love with a moderately successful career person with a balanced life rather than a very successful workaholic.

The partier: For this guy, weekends in Vegas and hitting up the newest parties and clubs has too much appeal to entertain the possibility of settling down. Says self-described “committed bachelor” Sean, 30, of Brooklyn: “I go out to have a good time — mingle, dance, have fun — and not to meet someone.” 

Reality check: As the Seans of the world mature, they may notice that their party-hearty peers are becoming fewer in number or that the average age of his social circle — and of his dates — remains constant as he ages. Another warning sign? More numbers in his cell phone for “friends with benefits” than those belonging to actual friends. The bottom line is, for all the fun of casual encounters and late nights out, a partier would do well to understand that a committed relationship has its own joys, too — even excitement and novelty. “These guys are adrenaline junkies, and they fear that a commitment to one person will be no fun,” says Dr. Kerner. “But really getting to know one person in a relationship can be a source of passion and adrenaline, too.” 

The shy guy: It’s a fact: Meeting men requires conversation — which can be problematic for a shy guy and can stunt his relationship prospects. “I go out with the express purpose of meeting people, but I hardly ever screw up enough courage to talk to strangers,” admits Alex, 31, of Raleigh, NC. “Even if I do, I wuss out and leave before I get anywhere.” 

Reality check: Rather than forcing social behavior in a high-stress situation, like at a loud nightclub, shy guys may be better off searching for potential mates who share the same affinities. “The shy guy doesn’t have to walk up to someone cold,” says Dr. Kerner. “Instead, he should put himself in situations that present opportunities for easy conversation.” Dr. Kerner suggests theater clubs, team sports or anything else with expectations for regular participation, like volunteering. Or, if you do start dating someone, suggest making it a double date or an activity date, thereby reducing the pressure of a one-on-one outing. 

The too-picky guy: For all his many, many first dates, this guy is resolutely single, never having met anyone who quite fits his mold for the ideal mate. He is convinced that there is someone out there and is alternately determined to find The One or frustrated by his inability to do so. Says Andrew, 30, of Scarsdale, NY: “It’s impossible for me to compromise. I can’t settle for someone who doesn’t attract me physically, emotionally, intellectually and so on.” Compounding this inability to compromise is the belief that perfection in another personal really exists — a notion that could lend itself to fantasies of discovering love at first sight. “A guy with impossibly high standards may fall for someone, but then he’ll see this person’s flaws and imperfections and become disappointed,” says Dr. Kerner. Unfortunately, this can lead to discounting potentially great matches, as the picky guy may be unwilling to give a date with, say, a tendency to use emoticons in emails or “too short” hair a chance. 

Reality check: What these guys need to accept is that no one’s perfect — and include themselves in that statement. And, in Dr. Kerner’s opinion, “There is no such thing as a soul mate,” he says. “Rather, it’s the journey of building a great relationship over time that leads to a ‘soul mate’-type of closeness.” So the next time you’re iffy about a boy, give him more of a chance before you write him off. 

The none-of-the-above guy: Of course, there are guys who might not fall into (just) one of these categories, who are comfortable with themselves, outgoing and trying to meet someone to share their lives with — but for whom it just hasn’t happened yet. Guys like “chronically single” Greg, 30, of Boston, explains: “I’m ready to give my heart to someone and to do some hard work to find her, but I have yet to find that person.” 

Reality check: Keeping adages such as “Love happens when you least expect it” in mind may not totally assuage feelings of “What the heck is going on here?” Suffice to say that this still-single guy is not alone — and won’t be for long if he keeps an open mind, gets active in organizations that provide opportunities to meet others and gives luck (or some effort) a chance to work. “Regardless of his circumstances, the important thing for a single guy in his 30s to do is to put himself in situations where he’s meeting men — whether it’s making time to join in activity groups, dating online or signing up for singles’ events,” says Dr. Kerner. So, single guy, keep your chin up and continue taking those leaps of faith into the dating pool. Sooner or later, you’ll find someone who sees you for the catch you truly are. 

SOURCE: YAHOO

¿HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH A KNOW-IT-ALL?

Thinking back, I see now that there was a brief moment when I had a choice as to how I would react to the situation that led to this blog entry. I could have just as easily chosen resignation, or amusement, or even sadness. So the obvious question is why did I choose a destructive emotion? Why did I take on a know-it-all attitude that sees my position as null and void? I suppose that on some deep, unconscious level I must be hard-wired to believe that anger is the appropriate response. Which leads to the next obvious question: how do I undo this negative mental process that appears to be woven into the soul of me?

Perhaps I could give my anger away. I know it sounds silly, but maybe silly is what is called for. Perhaps I should have buried my anger in her backyard and blame it on the dogs when no grass grows on that spot. She’ll believe me because listening to humans is COMPLETELY unfamiliar to her. Since she knows EVERYTHING about ANYTHING, and since she won’t question the dog, wouldn’t that just prove to her that she is right about that spot in her yard?

I often wonder if she ever gets tired of trying to be ‘right’ all the time. Why does she have a need to make people around her the audience she needs to make herself the center of attention? I get that attention and respect are the two things we all long for but...What do you do when you are around someone that comes off as a know-it-all?

'GOD' MUST BE REAL PLEASE WITH WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH

Westboro Baptist Church, the Kansas-based organization that made its name picketing military funerals to protest the country's policy on gay soldiers, plans to make an appearance at the funeral of "Jackass" stuntman Ryan Dunn.

Why? Apparently the congregation, led by pastor Fred Phelps and his Twitter-happy daughter, was offended by Dunn's most famous "Jackass" stunt: the insertion of a toy car into his rectum. In one of the printable passages from the church's press release about Dunn, they write: 

"This arrogant jackass, famous for his 'vulgar stunts' at which this nation snickered,  died in a car accident in Goshen, PA (one of the most evil states to ever exist) after tweeting a picture of himself & two "friends" drinking - just hours before a 3 AM high-speed crash left him & his passenger dead & in flames. This is no prank! In His wrath, God cut off this young man in the prime of his life, because he made a mock of sin, and taught his fellow man to grievously sin against God!" It goes on:"God will not acquit an arrogant, proud, filth-loving sinner, who spent every ounce of every resource God gave him to pimp grotesque, nasty (and not even slightly funny) sin!"

Okay. Thanks Westboro Baptist. I had SERIOUS reservations posting this story because it just hurt my soul. I can't believe (yes I can) that people would take time out of their day to do something like this. I am not a church goer, but shouldn't the church, I don't know seek ways to make humanity better and do what their 'God' ask of them? 

¿DOES HE LIKE ME (YOU)?

When it comes to dating and relationships, gay men have asked the same question over and over when they meet a guy they like: “does he like me?” No matter his age or status he starts terrorizing friends and associates who are connected to the ‘apple’ of his eye. The minute he asks, “Does he like me?” isn’t he basically giving away his power without even realizing it?

I know it is a natural characteristic for us to take on, but think of it like this, when you get to make a connection with the man you seek to date, would you be yourself if you are caught up with wondering if he likes you? In the world of dating, isn't that the whole point in getting to know someone means you NEED to be yourself? How about instead of pondering this age old gay question you flip the script and ask do you like him? Is he someone you can build a till death do us part life with?

I’ve found that when I stopped worrying whether a guy liked me or not, I started being myself and I end up with many men that liked me. The funny thing is, I didn't like many of them after all. I found they were actually spending time trying to get me to like them instead of just being themselves. I've been on both sides of this situation. And let me tell you, if you give yourself credit, you wouldn’t bother your friends with whether the boy you like likes you or not. After all can the how will I know (shout out to Whitney) of it all really be known?

TWISTED CHRISTIAN LOGIC: EVOLUTION VS. POVERTY

NIRVANA: ¡CELEBRATE LIFE!

There's a wonderful story about a learned man who went to see a Zen master to debate the merits of Zen. The master poured him a cup of tea, and purposely kept pouring so the tea ran over the cup and spilled onto the table. The man was startled and asked the master what he was doing. The Zen master replied, "You are like this cup, too full of your own opinions to receive anything else." Now I'd like to ask everyone reading this blog to empty yourselves of all your opinions, beliefs, fears, hopes, resentments and desires for just one moment. Just let them all go... empty your cup. Good. Some call this emptiness NIRVANA, attained by years of meditation. I would suggest that there's another path to attain this state of emptiness: write 365 blog entries in 365 days produce twenty-four sitcom episodes in thirty-five weeks. Which is the origin of another Zen riddle: if no one sees a blogger celebrate life, is it really a celebration? 

REST IN PEACE Taylor Siluwé

New Jersey-based author Taylor Siluwé died Sunday afternoon at home after losing his battle to lung cancer, friends tell Rod 2.0. Siluwé was only 43-years-old.

Siluwé was the author of several novels of erotica, such as Dancing With The Devil, A Taste for Cherries and Cheesy Porn and Other Fairytales. Siluwé also wrote short stories, essays and blogged about LGBT news, activism and gay life at SGLCafe.com.

Siluwé was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer in May. Taylor began photo-blogging and essaying about his battle with cancer and the effects of radiation treatment. Siluwé also began taking up gardening as therapy. Siluwé was optimistic about his prognosis and so was I. 

Taylor was one of the first bloggers to support me and it is hard to believe that he is no longer here. Who would have thought that last week when we communicated it would be the last thing he ever said to me. When I saw that he had died via another blogger, I thought this was a mistake because Taylor was going to make a full recovery. As I sit and type this, I am wishing that he would pop up online and say, THE NEWS OF MY DEATH HAS BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED! REST IN PEACE TAYLOR & I WILL KEEP YOUR FAMILY AND PARTNER IN MY THOUGHTS.

¿WHAT MAKES A FATHER?

The ideal father is the epitome of a man. That is...

He will demonstrate balance. 

He will be modest and reserved and yet firm and straight forth. 

He will not be arrogant. 

He will show respect for his elders, his superiors in status. 

He will love and honor his mother and his husband/wife and children. 

He will be sober and moderate in all things. He will also enjoy life and be a gracious host to his friends, rather than a miser and spendthrift. 

He will work hard and seek comfort, but not become obsessed with material possessions. 

Above all, he will speak and do Right.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

¿WHAT ARE MAN~CANDIES MADE OF?

¿MASCULINITY?

¿ABS?

¿CHEST?

¿ARMS?

¿EYES?

¿LIPS?

¿LEGS?

¿BUTT?

¿D&CK?

¿WHAT MAKES A MAN, MAN~CANDY?