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Friday, May 8, 2009


In assessing the issues at play in compulsive sexuality in gay men, it is important first to understand that the gay community is a highly sexualized one. As the stereotype goes, straight men want sex all the time, while gay men actually have sex all the time and women seem not to want it…But all in all there are persons out there that beg the question, can sex become compulsive? Like most behaviors, can sex be taken to its obsessive and compulsive extremes? Sexual obsessions and compulsions are recurrent, distressing and interfere with daily functioning. Many people suffer with this problem but don’t know it. HERE ARE A FEW QUESTIONS THAT CAN HELP YOU DETERMINE IF YOU A SEX ADDICT OR NOT:
  1. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?

  2. Have you subscribed or regularly purchased/rental sexually explicit magazines or videos?

  3. Did your parents have trouble with their sexual or romantic behaviors?

  4. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?

  5. Has your use of phone sex lines, computer sex lines, etc, exceeded your ability to pay for these services?

  6. Does your significant other(s), friends or family ever worry or complain about your sexual behavior? (Not related to sexual orientation.)

  7. Do you have trouble stopping your sexual behavior when you know it is inappropriate and/or dangerous to your health?

  8. Has your involvement with pornography, phone sex, computer board sex become greater than your intimate contacts with romantic partners?

  9. Do you keep the extent or nature of your sexual activities hidden from your friends and/or partners?

  10. Do you look forward to events with friends or family being over so that you can go out to have sex?

  11. Do you visit sexual bathhouses, sex clubs and/or video bookstores as a regular part of your sexual activity?

  12. Do you believe that anonymous or casual sex kept you from having more long-term intimate relationships or from reaching other personal goals?

  13. Do you have trouble maintaining intimate relationships once the "sexual newness" of the person has worn off?

  14. Do your sexual encounters place you in danger of arrest for lewd conduct or public indecency?

  15. Have you spent time worrying about being HIV positive & continue to engage in risky or unsafe sexual behavior anyway?

  16. Has anyone ever been hurt emotionally by events related to your sexual behavior, e.g., lying to partner or friends, not showing up for event/appointment due to sexual liaisons, etc.,? (not related to sexual orientation)

  17. Have you ever been approached, charged, arrested by the police, security, etc., due to sexual activity in a public place?

  18. Has sex been a way for you to escape your problems?

  19. When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?

  20. Have you made repeated promises to yourself to change some form of your sexual activity only to break them later? (Not related to sexual orientation.)

  21. Have your sexual activities interfered with some aspect of your professional or personal life, e.g. unable to perform at work, loss of relationship? (Not related to sexual orientation.)

  22. Have you engaged in unsafe or "risky" sexual practices even though you knew it could cause you harm?

  23. Have you ever been paid for sex?

  24. Have you ever had sex with someone just because you were feeling aroused and later felt ashamed or regretted it?

  25. Have you ever cruised public restrooms, rest areas and/or parks looking for sexual encounters with strangers?


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