I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Tuesday, August 25, 2015


I believe I will meet a man someday.  A man that will take my breathe away every time he walks into the room.  A man who will support, affirm and love me for the person I am.  He will be more than my better half;  he will be my better whole.

Earlier this morning, like a Beyoncé lyric, the “world stopped” as the gavel came down like the Hammer of Thor.  What was once only thought of as a dream became a reality and a federal law: Same-sex marriage is now a right in the United States of America.

As a queer black man I deserve it. As members of the black LGBTQ community we deserve this and have fought hard for this day.  To know that I can be happy and blissfully in love with my partner HUSBAND and it be recognized under the law brought tears to my eyes. It was quite convenient how we had a separation of “church” and “state” in matters of the Judicial system except when it comes to the laws of same-sex marriage, which are overly biased based on principles from the bible.  With the 5-4 decision today, I won, we won, and love has truly won.

Now granted, the institution of marriage itself is truly about love, but the contract binding two people together is also about business. With marriage comes the merging of health insurance, property, assets, and liabilities. This becomes important when certain life decisions must be made as a couple like purchasing a car, home and other life-changing decisions. Decisions like life or death that we once worried about, we now will no longer have to stress.

I will celebrate today. I might even celebrate some this weekend, but I know that the fight must continue for the black LGBTQ community.  As much as many I want to rejoice, we know this is a hollow victory in the grand scheme of how our lives are viewed in society. (See the Charleston massacre).  Today’s decision, in many ways is like putting makeup on a pig.  You dress it up nice, make it look good but at the end of the day it is still a pig. For us that pig remains to be black trans violence, homelessness, health disparities, erasure, racism, marginalization, and the list goes on.

So as important as it may be to show the solidarity in this decision, it can’t come at the price of negating that we still have to fight for our place in society.  Same-sex marriage equality means nothing, if within days of my marriage I could be fired for being gay. This decision will only help if it is about the inclusion of all persons of the LGBTQ spectrum, while also ensuring that with the equality there comes equity for those whose marginalization is much different than myself. The work must continue by pushing the narrative forward even harder than we fought in the past. Making sure laws like ENDA are passed for the protection of those persons getting married is now more important than ever.

So again, I am happy like many of my brothers and sisters.  So I will turn up today, because tomorrow the fight must continue.



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