7 REASONS WHY EXES MUST STAY THAT WAY...
1. You’ve seen each other naked
Although it may be possible to have an occasional romp with a
friend, it can damage a relationship. As hard as it is to accept, it’s
difficult to bring a relationship back to its normal state after having been
intimate with someone and knowing every corner of their body. You will always
have an image of that person naked, and memories of the trysts will always be
triggered by the smell of his natural funk or cologne, or even by hearing a
song that you once made passionate love to.
And as thick-skinned as you are, it’s hard to see the person in the
same light after being entangled in each other’s skin and sharing moments that
led to leg soreness and toe cramps the next day.
2. You can’t confide in each other
As hard as two exes try to stay friends, they can never really
confide in each other. How do you tell your ex that you had the best sex of your
life last night or you and your new boyfriend are going away for the weekend?
You can’t even tell your ex that the reason you’re smiling so much is because
another man has brought joy to your life that you have never felt before.
You can tell him some of these things, but new lovers and mates are
always going to be a sensitive issue. It’s even harder to tell him how hurt you
were that your date stood you up the other night, thanks to your sense of
pride.
3. There will always be one-sided bitterness
Since breakups are rarely one-sided, one party will always feel
resentment or bitterness toward the other. Even if your ex is feigning
friendship, he’s most likely not sincerely your friend. If it seems like plans
with your new potential man are always being sabotaged or said to not be a good
idea, they just might not have any interest in your moving on.
4. Jealousy comes into play
And where there’s bitterness, there’s always a rocking cradle for
extreme jealousy. And the truth of the matter is that it’s hard to be sincerely
happy for your ex when he’s just found the new love of his life.
5. You don’t want them with anyone else
It is human nature to be jealous or resentful when our ex finds a
new person to cuddle up to, even if our feelings have somewhat faded. It
becomes a race of who will find the new lover first, a challenge especially
brought on by the person who was dumped. Even for the person who did the
breaking up, the thought of someone else taking your place in the memories that
you and your ex shared is hard, and sometimes extremely painful to fathom.
6. Passion still exists
Even if your relationship was completely problem-ridden and makes
“What’s Love Got To Do With It” look like Mike and Carol Brady’s relationship,
chances are that there is still some mental and physical passion there.
Men are sexual creatures for the most part and some level of attraction will
still exist (unless lack of attraction was the reason for your breakup). This
is a recipe for disaster because it means that every time you get together
under this new “friendship” premise, the lust and passion you have makes it
more likely that you’ll end up in “one more” night of unbridled “goodbye” sex,
for old times’ sake. This brings you right back to square one — how you felt
right after your breakup, and just when you were doing so well.
7. Moving On
Leaving the past behind is hard enough, and you don’t want part of
your past still programmed in your cell phone. Although it’s easier for the
dumper, recovering from a breakup is still a hard thing to do since it means
being single again, getting back into the dating scene and no longer making
that daily goodnight call you and your ex used to share.
But having that person lingering in your life as a constant
reminder makes it even harder to move on, meet new people and turn a fresh
page. It’s almost like keeping one foot in the past, and another struggling to make
it back into the pickup scene.
It also might be a better idea to leave things with pleasant
memories of the other person, rather than drag the potentially doomed
relationship through the mud.
In a perfect world, the ideal would be for exes to succeed at being
friends, but in one where bitterness, jealousy, passion, and human nature
exceed reasoning and rational thought, it’s impossible. Unless the two of you
were the best of friends before, both broke up on the same terms in a perfectly
mutual breakup, both have no qualms about either of you seeing new people, and
have both instilled a policy of total honesty, you’re better to leave the
friendship, along with the memories, behind.
Good advice, my naked buddy! Thanks for posting!
ReplyDeletehave to share the GOOD stuff my friend
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