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A good friend of mine asked me this question the other day in
regards to his current situation with a certain potential mister. After thinking about it and bragging about
how sex with me is never boring, I could tell that he was serious. I really did
not know how I could counsel him. Some
guys feel that if they are not sexually happy that the relationship cannot
flourish. I, personally, have not had to
encounter bad sex with someone I was dating, but we have all experienced that
one guy who just did not quite measure up to our expectations. I went on to tell my friend that even if I
had encountered a guy of some sort, I would not let that one factor be the end
of what could possibly be great. A
relationship is so much more than sex and I guess as we become older, we
realize that the small things are what truly make us happy with one another.
We carried on back in forth deliberating between a healthy sex life
versus a healthy relationship thus concluding that different men have different
priorities. Sex – although a factor, but
not a main factor – is definitely what you make it out to be. People enter into relationships and do not
have sex for months. Yet, again, every
relationship is different and so are people.
I know that every relationship that I have been in has been more orally
satisfying than penetratingly humored.
Now, this is not to say that I do not enjoy a nice piece of warm flesh
around the circumference of my penis every now and then, but there is nothing
like a wet mouth to give me a Kool-Aid smile.
Okay… I had a moment. Anywho, sex
is great but should not be the quality that would make you pull the plug.
When I asked him what about the sex was so boring, he replied, “He
just lies there. And I know that I’m
giving my best, I just don’t know what the problem is.” I responded that something could be on the
guy’s mind. Maybe you are not doing
enough to satisfy him and he feels disconnected. Even I have been there before. We must remember that sex is a two-way street
and in this day-and-age, it is very rare to find a bottom who just likes to
suck and get penetrated without any reciprocation. You have to “lick it before you stick it” and
bottoms get theirs too. Again, I am
getting off topic – the point is, satisfaction should be mutual.
I asked him was he verbal in bed – I have learned throughout my
experience that a lot of men like to be told what to do. I, for one, am not one of them but I love
giving direction. Stimulate my mind and
make me feel, if only for these great 20-30 minutes, that I am the only man
that matters to you. “Put your leg up
right there.” “Arch your back just a lil
bit more.” “Who’s it for?” “Tell daddy… ?” …you catch my drift? You can use those lines, I have more.
Sex is so much more than “insert something utopia brings about
here.” There has to be a connection
deeper than the physical if you want it to be good. Whisper in my ear, rub on my chest, lick on
my earlobe and call me daddy damnit!
Communication is key both in and outside of the bedroom and from both
parties. It is all about teamwork.
If asked to list five qualities that you would look for in a mate,
I am sure that close to 75 percent of you would have sex listed in your top
three. Not saying that it is a bad
thing, but is it indeed a deal breaker?
Nowadays, I am more concerned about if a guy has a job with benefits and
a 401k rather than how good his sex is.
I agree completely.
ReplyDeleteglad you liked it
DeleteThere is much more to a relationship than sex. I was in a relationship for 23 years. It was one of the greatest times of my life. It was full of love, kindness, warmth and affection. The sex was good but never wonderful. It is eight years since my lover died and I still miss him and still weep about the loss. OH! YES! There is a lot more to a relationship then sex.
ReplyDeleteI know there is :-)
Delete