I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, January 23, 2014


Gay men take much too much heat for being natural, normal sexual human beings. Here’s what that imbalance looks like: in this world, if straight men are oversexed, then gay men have to be hyper-sexual. If straight women want sexual fulfillment and gay men want it too, we have to call it something else—anything else.

LGBTQ men are relegated to sex-focused ghettos of conquest, topping and bottoming, butch-dominant, straight-acting, femme-repressive, “sassy gay best friend (neuter),” performative (sexy, funny drag queens only) and over-blown sexual expression, or the back alley of regret (“He’s so hot! I wish he were straight!” Rather than, “He’s so hot.” Period.)

The inevitable byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, a shame gay men may strive to obscure with a facade of beauty, creativity, or material success. Today’s gay man enjoys unprecedented, hard-won social acceptance. Despite this victory, however, serious problems still exist. Substance abuse, depression, suicide, and sex addiction among gay men are at an all-time high, causing many to ask, ARE WE REALLY BETTER OFF?


  1. Are we better off? Of course we are. But what you said in the post is quite true.
    It seems to me that one of the reasons is that since we have so much more freedom than any time in the past, too many Gay men try too hard to "live the hetro life"
    All of us are not cut out to have a Husband and children. A large number of us enjoy sex for sex sake period. We are a diverse community and that being said, should make us stronger in our resolve to be who we are, not who we wish we were.



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