The French
call it ménage à trois, the Germans - Dreiecksbeziehung, the Swedes - hushåll
för tre, the Russians - любов втроём. Whatever you call this unorthodox
romantic and domestic arrangement, you must be a hundred percent sure this type
of cohabitation will work for you. If you have second thoughts, just don’t do
it, because otherwise, it can get awkward. And really complicated!
Here are the
necessary things you have to consider when getting involved in a three-way
relationship.
DEFINE YOUR
PRIORITIES UP FRONT
This means to
ask yourself what you are looking for. Is it just some fun and
no-strings-attached sex to refresh your stale relationship? Is it short or
long-term love? Or you want this because you’ve always felt there’s something
missing in the relationship with your partner, and you think that might be a
third guy? Answering these questions is essential for resolving any future
problems that will stem from ambiguous expectations and ill-defined priorities.
HAVE AS MANY
SHARED ACTIVITIES AS POSSIBLE
Without doubt,
one of the main reasons that brought the three of you together is sex, but you
shouldn’t make it the sole shared activity you all enjoy. Here are some
suggestions about fun activities that don’t involve dicks and butts.
Trimming a
beard. The necessary condition is that at least one of you has a beard. Soaking
in a hot, bubbling jacuzzi. An access to a jacuzzi tub is a must! Cooking. This
might be a little problematic, because you know what they say, too many cooks
spoil the broth. Playing video games or watching movies/videos. We heartily
encourage you to revisit the collection of homemade videos of the three of you
doing naughty things to each other.
DO NOT LEAVE
THE ROOM OVER HURT FEELINGS
Number one
rule in any polyamorous relationship is to establish intimacy and good
communication within your inner circle of trust. It’s hard to achieve a
symmetrical three-way relationship, that’s for sure. The two people involved
first usually have a stronger bond. But that doesn’t mean that at some point,
the third person won’t get the upper hand and make a partner from the original
couple feel left behind. That’s why it’s important to talk all the burning
issues out, and try to fix them before all the good stuff you have among the
three of you goes down the drain.
HAVE YOUR
PRIVATE SPOT
Make sure from
the very beginning of this non-traditional cohabitation that each of you has
his private spot. Sharing the king bed should be exclusively for sex or when
watching a movie together. If two of you share one bed during nights, that
might become problematic in the longer perspective of your relationship. If you
don’t have enough space for three beds, then at least take turns when sleeping
in couples. That way, no-one will feel ignored because he snores, or farts, or
talks in his sleep, or because he’s the worst cuddler.
BE AWARE OF
THE HUMAN LEECHES!
Remember Jack
McFarland from the popular sitcom Will and Grace? Jack is a wannabe actor,
novelist, cage dancer, surfer, playwright, etc., who is always penniless and
relies on the benevolence of his dedicated friends to support his existence of
a “struggling artist.” Although Jack is an adorable gay man, keep in mind that
he’s just a TV character, and you certainly don’t want someone like him living
permanently with you and your partner. Everybody in your household should
realize that things must be shared: not only sex, love, fun, devotion, and
trust, but also the usual domestic stuff, the chores, AND the bills!
WHAT IF…
Two of you
want to have sex, and the third one is not in the mood? That’s certainly a
tough one. Should the two of you go for it, or just keep your penises, pardon,
horses in the stable? We’d suggest the second option because it’s the more
ethical one, but if it’s a burning-balls emergency (and in many case, it is!),
then you should opt for the sex thing. How you deal with the third partner
after you two are done, we leave it to you and your conscience. As we said,
this is a tough one.
The moral of
the story:
Plural
relationships don’t have to be any more difficult than monogamous relationships.
SOURCE: ANDREW CHRISTIAN
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