I have no
problem admitting that RuPaul’s Drag Race is my favorite show.
New episodes are the highlight of my week, I watch each one at least four
times, I discuss it endlessly with friends (and strangers) and I even stream
old seasons to pass the time.
And yet even
I think this season has felt too long.
Fourteen
queens is a lot, especially when it was weighed down with so many ladies that
fizzled out in such disappointing fashion. It would’ve at least felt like a
tighter race without Jaymes, Kimora, Charlie, Farrah and Cynthia Lee Fontaine
in the mix at all. Plus, we had a premiere where no one went home AND an
episode where Eureka’s injury spared both Farrah and Cynthia Lee Fontaine at a
time when a double-elimination would have been justified.
All this is
to say that last night’s twist felt like we were still dragging deadweight
across the finish line. If ever there was a season where the queens desperately
needed to be shaken out of complacency, it’s this one. I mean, we had a lip
sync where a queen did. not. move. AND a sync where the queen didn’t know the
words! Come on. Season nine does not deserve Ru’s mercy, mama.
Nor did the
queens’ performances really feel like they warranted a final four in the
finale, honestly.
Last night’s
challenge was the typical multi-part season-closer. In lieu of the beloved (and
dearly missed) Tic-Tac luncheon, the gals joined Michelle and Ru on their
podcast What’s the Tee? They also recorded a “rap” verse to one of Ru’s songs
and learned complex choreo to accompany the track on the runway. It’s the same
basic gamut Alaska, Detox and Katya slayed on All Stars 2 (the
less said about Roxxxy Andrews’ skills on the mic, the better).
In typical
reality-TV fashion, this penultimate episode is crafted to make us believe any
one of these queens could win. Peppermint and Shea were naturals in the studio
and in the dance rehearsal, while Trinity and Sasha struggled with both, but
everyone pulls it off fine on the runway. Each queen gets to share a difficult
personal struggle on the podcast, and they all got another teary moment on the
runway when giving advice to their younger selves.
Shea seemed
like an obvious lock. Peppermint could’ve been sent home for shining less
brightly than her three competitors throughout the competition. Sasha or
Trinity could’ve justifiably sashayed away for just not knocking tonight out of
the park. But, instead, Ru spared everyone and now we have a top four. Yay? I
could sincerely see any one of these ladies snatch the crown, but the same
could be said about Katya, Latrice, BenDeLaCreme and Detox. Part of what makes
the show exciting is that there is a scarcity of success. You can’t just give
everyone a crown. This isn’t the end of Mean Girls.
Still, it’s
Ru’s world, Ru’s rules, so a top four it is. Let’s see where our gals stand in
our rankings below.
1. I’ve had Shea pegged
as a top contender since day one, and she’s barely stumbled since. Her one
appearance in the bottom two felt arbitrary, and last night was particularly
solid evidence of her claim to the crown. She’s got looks, she’s got moves,
she’s got attitude. An upset isn’t out of the question, but no one else has delivered
excellence as consistently this season. (Though what was up with the chest on
that final runway look? It was mesmerizing for all the wrong reasons.)
2. It’s Sasha by
a nose in the number two spot. If you countered this is Trinity’s slot, I
wouldn’t fight you on it, but I still think Sasha did something more
interesting with the challenge this week, even if it wasn’t as polished as Shea
or dynamic as Peppermint. As usual, she put her signature Sasha flavor to
things, and it was fun to watch. It’s not the kind of thing I’d stream on
Spotify (mostly because I listen almost exclusively to Carly Rae Jepsen, and
that’s my business!), but she had a vision that she executed pretty
successfully.
3. During
last night’s judges’ pow-wow Michelle basically said what I
said last week: Trinity is better than she even
realizes. I am aware of my own bias against pageant queens, but Trinity has
charmed me all season. Plus, I like that she’s maintained a real, naked
competitive spirit. (Alexis Michelle’s dedication to the sisterhood became
grating once she bared her fangs as soon as she was feeling the heat.) Trinity
isn’t as fun as Alyssa, but she isn’t as sloppy as Alyssa could be either. Her
last runway look was her best all season, and I was truly gagged.
4.
Objectively, Peppermint is the least deserving of the win. She
just hasn’t managed to conquer the given challenges the way Shea and Sasha
have. But! There’s an undeniable likability and presence to Peppermint that
makes it hard to deny her the title of “superstar.” She’s given us the only
good lip syncs this season, and her rap was killer. It was a bold move saving
that last dress for tonight, because it was the best thing she brought with
her. Pep’s a proven commodity, so it’d be unwise to count her out. However, a
win here feels like it undermines the show’s ability to reveal the next drag
superstar. If you can still win over queens that defeated you at nearly every
challenge, what’s the point of any of this?
How would you rank the remaining queens?
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