I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, September 8, 2016


Those who avoid sexual contact with HIV-positive people usually claim to be doing it to protect themselves. This is a laudable aim. I would, however, expect such people to ensure that they are well-informed about the risk of transmission and associated issues. Many are not.

It is accepted that consistent condom use and having fewer sexual partners reduces the probability of catching HIV. Some take from this a not-so-subtle inference that their HIV status is an indication of their moral rectitude. They are negative because they've been ‘good’. You are positive because you are ‘a dirty barebacking slut’. They then contradict themselves by expressing the belief that safer sex isn't sufficient to protect them.

If you disagree that their opinions are shrouded in moral judgements, try telling your next date that you are positive and see what happens. You may well find yourself being treated with the same contempt with which straight people used to treat us all. 

Fear does not lead people to behave in a rational and self-protective manner. I am aware of our compulsion to climb over a perfectly adequate barrier and hurl ourselves into the void when we are standing on a completely safe viewing platform. The fear we feel comes from the knowledge of my own ability to act and not from any inherent danger. This is completely doolally. I occasionally have vivid dreams where we give in and jump. It's such a relief; the fear is worse than the consequence.

Although I know my life would be easier if I were HIV-negative, the politically incorrect truth is that being positive just isn't that bad. All the trouble I have comes from other people's attitudes and opinions. A little less fear and judgement would do everyone a lot of good.

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