THE DAHL HAUS PRESENTS: THE END(S) OF MARCH 2K16

MARCH 2K16 WHAT I LEARNT...

SURE YOU MADE HIM CUM, BUT...

CAN YOU TELL IF HE HAD AN ORGASM?

4 SIMPLE REASONS YOU ARE AN UNHAPPY GAY

Why are gay men so unhappy?

While this complex question cannot be answered in one blog post, I believe there are four simple, correctable, things that are preventing us (yes, myself included) from living happier lives.

1. We put so much pressure on ourselves.

Although it’s not just gay men in this pressure cooker of life, to mask the shame society told us we must feel, we gay men have a tendency to turn our own pressure cookers on high. Dr. Alan Downs discusses this in his amazing book “The Velvet Rage“ in which he describes the gay man’s attempt to neutralize shame by being the most successful, outrageous, fabulous, beautiful and masculine. Sound familiar?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with setting goals for yourself, being driven to succeed or wanting to be in shape. I spend a lot of time at the gym, too, but that’s because Planet Fitness has bagels, pizza and Tootsie Rolls. My advice? Make sure you’re going at your own speed and doing it for yourself — not to earn the validation or appreciation of others.

2. We’re in the wrong squad.

Is it me, or did some gay men watch Mean Girls and take it a little too seriously? 

If the people around you are mean and miserable and make you feel like crap, it’s time to recast. Surround yourself with inspiring, upbeat people who bring sunshine into your life and feed your soul. Also, recognize who your “friends” are and what role they play in your life. Know who your going-out friends are and who your I’m-going-through-a-hard-time-and-need-someone-to-talk-to friends are.

3. We are afraid of love.

Ask yourself this and answer honestly — do you have love in your life? Most of us have functioned without it for most of our lives. We didn’t get it from our families. Our friends are fun to go out with, but we don’t feel connected to them. All of our romantic relationships ended before we even thought about uttering the words (or we were so afraid of letting him in, we sabotaged it.) Whatever your reason, it’s hard to let others in and it’s hard to accept the love we deserve. The most important thing to know is that you are worthy of love and you have love to give. It’s not sustainable to run on empty forever. If you’re hurting inside, speak to someone and work on letting it go.

Now, when you’re ready, change your Tinder, Grindr and Scruff profiles from “just looking for fun...open to whatever” to “living for love” or some other cheesy pop song lyric.

4. We don’t love ourselves.

Speaking of love and cheesy pop songs, we have got to learn to love ourselves. I mean, how many singers have to sing it and how many times does RuPaul have to say it before we believe it’s true? I first learned to love myself when I heard Christina Aguilera sing “don’t be scared to fly alone...you’ll find your way...” on herStripped album. That’s the power of artists. We don’t know them, but they help us know ourselves. I digress. Anyway, that’s when I decided to stop giving a fuck about what people had to say about me and I started to embrace every part of myself — my sexuality, my skin color, my small arms and my watermelon size head. And when I did that, my self-confidence skyrocketed and that positively impacted every other aspect of my life.

Ok, so the last two might not be that simple to correct, but it’s possible. In the end, “it gets better” because you get better. To get yourself out of your unhappiness rut, ditch the shovel and start building instead. A good place to start is with yourself because only you can create your own happiness.

SOURCE: HUFFPOST QUEER VOICES

RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE: SEASON 8, EPISODE 4 - NEW WAVE QUEENS

It was all keytars and Kajagoogoo on last night’s RuPaul’s Drag Racewhen the remaining queens paid homage to new wave.

Blondie founders Chris Stein and Debbie Harry joined the judging table and lent some credibility to the evening’s musical odes to street meat, chicken wings and … shapes, or something.

Considering the creative demand placed on the queens as they had to write lyrics and sing live this week, most of them did a pretty decent job! Who had a real a-ha moment and who was asked to go-go? 

LESBIAN ASYLUM SEEKER TOLD TO HAND OVER NAKED PICTURES TO 'PROVE' HER SEXUALITY

A lesbian asylum seeker claims UK authorities asked her to hand over sex pictures to prove her sexuality.

Skhumbuzo Khumalo made the decision to leave her home country of Zimbabwe to claim asylum in the UK in 2014, after she suffered a brutal attack from the police.

Although female homosexuality isn’t considered a crime in Zimbabwe, lesbians and bisexual women face the same violence and threat to their lives as the rest of the LGBTI community.

In the UK, Khumalo spent weeks at a detention center and only narrowly escaped deportation – an experience that left her deeply shaken and contemplating suicide.

‘At some point I thought of suicide, because me ending my own life is much better than people back home ending my life,’ she said in a video produced by UK charity Fixers, in which she recounts her whole experience.

After her first screening interview, Khumalo was brought to Glasgow where she later faced another, five-hour interview.

‘Clearly just by looking at you, they will not judge if you are gay or straight,’ she said.

‘So they left me in a position where I had to produce intimate photos, which I didn’t feel comfortable sharing.’

‘The officer began flicking through the photos while I was sat in front of him. It was extremely degrading.’

He then asked Khumalo whether she could possibly go back to Zimbabwe, live in another city and hide her sexuality.

‘I thought: “How can you hide the fact that you love a certain person”’, she said.

‘It’s ridiculous.’

Khumalo’s decision to leave Zimbabwe came after she was at a friend’s house, together with others from their local LGBTI community, when a group of police officers barged in.

‘Everyone scattered as they began beating us,’ Khumalo says.

‘I was told: “You need to be fixed. We’ll kill you. Gay people are demonic and possessed.”’

One of the men grabbed the teapot, throwing it over the young woman – but because of the anti-homosexuality laws, and the need for a police statement, the woman said she couldn’t go to hospital.

‘I was left with big blisters which have since turned into scars. I was lucky to escape with my life,’ she said.

‘After the attack I felt my dignity, self-respect and confidence drain away. I couldn’t live like that anymore.’

SOURCE: GAY STAR NEWS

TODAY IS BLACK FOREST CAKE DAY!

MAN FACES 80 YEARS JAIL TIME FOR POURING BOILING WATER ON GAY COUPLE WHO WERE ASLEEP

The man who is accused of pouring scalding water on a sleeping gay couple, causing them burns so severe that they required extensive skin surgery, has been indicted and could face up to 80 years in jail.

According to the  Fulton County District Attorney’s Office, Martin Blackwell, 48, is facing eight counts of aggravated battery and two counts of aggravated assault.

Georgia does not have a sentence enhancement for hate crimes.

On February 12, Blackwell is said to have poured scalding water on Anthony Gooden, 23, and his boyfriend, Marquez Tolbert, 21, as they slept in a College Park apartment which Gooden shares with his mother, Kim Foster. She has been in a relationship with the accused for three years.

Blackwell told authorities that he was disgusted with Gooden’s relationship with Tolbert.

Tolbert sustained second and third degree burns and spent 10 days at Grady Memorial Hospital undergoing surgery that took skin from his thigh to replace skin on his back.

Gooden sustained severe burns on his face, neck, back, chest and arms. For two weeks he was in a coma, and was released from hospital approximately a week ago.

Gooden came out to his family last year, and introduced his boyfriend to relatives. Blackwell allegedly expressed disapproval of the gay couple the night before the assault.

According to news reports, the victims stated Blackwell yelled, ‘Get out of my house with all that gay.’

Blackwell reportedly told the police, ‘They was stuck together like two hot dogs, so I poured a little hot water on them and helped them out. They was stuck like two hot dogs. They’ll be all right; it was just a little hot water.’

The FBI has recently announced that it is investigating the attack as a hate crime although Georgia does not specific hate crime laws.

In states that do not have hate crime laws, victims of alleged hate crimes must rely on the federal Hate Crimes Prevention Act that calls for fines and up to 10 years in prison.

SOURCE: GAY STAR NEWS