SEX: DEALING WITH GAY MEN & EMOTIONS

Some men are comfortable being intimate with another person without experiencing emotional connections. Others prefer levels of emotional sharing before being intimate. Have you thought about where you fall on the spectrum?

Not all gay men are built the same. If you are having sex with a partner (a date, a friend, a buddy, or other) you know that sexual attraction and lust may lead to misconception.

Love is not lust. If you meet someone with whom you develop feelings for beyond physical contact, it might get tricky. But you also need to distinguish it from your sexual desire.

Emotion or not, feelings are too complicated to simplify into categories. What matters most is how sincerely you express your emotions in ways that best suit you and your partner or partners. This calls for increased openness about your emotional expectations before, during and after sex. Part of increasing your understanding of your partners's (and you own) emotional needs is being honest and open in your discussions about sex.

The best sex is balanced sex, and being balanced means that both you and your partner are comfortable and knowledgeable about what works best for you as individuals and as sexual partners.

The best approach to articulating one's emotions is to be proactive when it comes to gay sex. What I mean is, for example, those times when I had been looking for emotional connections, and wanted more than a one night stand, or vice versa, I found it better to be open with my partner about my expectations.

A direct honesty helped us both circumvent any confusion, and opened a dialogue between us that led to better understands of our individual emotional wellbeing.

Do not be afraid to say "I do not know". And also do not be afraid to say "I like you". There is nothing wrong with uncertainty, no one is born a wise man. Your partner may not be on the same boat you are in, but if he is a good guy he will understand. Some men will reproach you, others despise you. But there is plenty of fish in the sea.

Without honest communication, feelings are bound to get muffled, especially If you want a connection and your partner does not.