I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Monday, August 11, 2014


If there was even a tiny, lingering hope that True Blood would stick the landing of its final season, that likely evaporated in tonight's episode. In what's become commonplace on True Blood, several storylines (of the show's many, many storylines) reached fairly unsatisfying conclusions. To put it in Chekhov terms: When True Blood introduces a gun in the first act, rest assured that gun will shoot a little "Bang!" flag and be forgotten in the second.

Let's rehash the latest goings-on in Bon Temps together.

Sarah Newlin (Anna Camp) is still in the throes of her ghosts of relationships past meltdown when Eric (Alexander Skarsgรฅrd), Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) and the Yakuza arrive. While going full-tilt crazy, she convinces herself she is the Messiah and needs to die to rise again. Her wish is almost granted when she goes out and is snatched up by Eric. Resisting the urge to slaughter her immediately (and with pressure from Pam), he instead takes a drink and is cured of his Hep-V.

With Sarah in tow, they return to Fangtasia. The Yakuza scientists are able to synthesize Sarah’s blood into a cure buuuuuuuuut it’ll be better for sales if it’s not exactly the best cure. It’s a stronger business model if sick vamps need a steady stream of New Blood to stay well. Bill and Pam can’t tell anyone there’s a real cure available. Thanks a lot, Big Vampire Pharma.

Someone who needs no encouragement to get hooked on a blood product? Lettie Mae (Adina Porter). The family who lives in the home she was digging up with Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) called the Rev. Daniels (Gregg Daniel) to come pick them up. I guess the family wasn’t really excited about these two tripping balls in their front yard. James (Nathan Parsons) arrives, ready to send Lettie and Lala on their next trip, and, somehow, Lettie Mae convinces the Reverend to join them.

All three share a vision of Tara (Rutina Wesley) while hopped-up on V. It’s a flashback to one of Tara’s early birthdays. During the celebration, her father shows up, and he’s enraged that Lettie spent so much money on a party and didn’t invite him. When he starts to beat Lettie, lil’ Tara runs upstairs to fetch the gun she stole from him. She comes down and takes aim at her abusive father, but then reconsiders and buries the gun in the yard. That was the day her dad left her mom and Lettie fell apart.

Back in the present day/reality-ish, ghost Tara and her mom do the same “I’m sorry!”/“No, I’m sorry!” routine they’ve been doing for seemingly ever. But this time, it’s for real, once and for all. Everyone forgives everyone and Tara moves on to the ghost world and alright already, geez. Goodbye, ghost Tara. Off you go to that cage fight in the sky.

Elsewhere in Bon Temps, Hoyt (Jim Parrack) is getting sauced while going through his mother’s things. Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is there too, for some reason, but he’s got to jet once he receives a text from Violet (Karolina Wydra) featuring a bound and teary Adilyn (Bailey Noble) and Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll). Hoyt’s stupid, stupid gf chooses that whatever urgent, deadly, vampire-laden police business Jason was called into is better than a surly drunk boyfriend. What? Sure.

They arrive at Violet’s sex castle and Hoyt’s lady waits in the car. Jason enters and is almost immediately captured. He’s chained up along with Jessica, Adilyn and Wade (Noah Matthews). Then, Violet details all the exceptionally grotesque ways she plans to torture the group like a sexy Bond villain. Before she can finish her dramatic monologue (that threw shade not only at Cleopatra, but also Helen of Troy), Hoyt appears and shoots her with a wooden bullet straight through the heart. Bye, Violet! Hope you like cage fights!

Jessica and Hoyt (who, again, can’t remember her or Jason) share a tender moment. Jason gives her a lift home, and they decide they should just be friends. Sexy, sexy friends. The next day, Hoyt sidles up to Jason at Bellefleur’s and asks if he’s dating Jess. Now that they’ve conveniently clarified the extent of their sexy, sexy friendship, Hoyt is free to make (remake?) his move. He shows up at Chez Compton with some of his fresh, clean blood and extend his sympathy for Jessica losing a parental figure. But! He still loves his not-so-smart girlfriend and he’s leaving in two days. So, bye. For now?

Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Bill (Stephen Moyer) have been having deathbed sex, and, while basking in the afterglow, Sookie decides now is the time to ask a few questions. Remember how we all learned that Bill was sent specifically to spy on Sookie all those years ago and we never really addressed it? Well, we got our explanation. Bill thought all his humanity was gone, then Queen Sophie Ann (Evan Rachel Wood) sent him to figure out if Sookie was fae so she could capture and breed her. Except! Twist! Getting to know her taught him to love again, or whatever.

There’s not a ton of time to be romanced, since Bill is still definitely dying. That’s when Eric shows up to be all like “Hey Sook, check me out. Totes not dying anymore. Super cured. Cool, right?” Sookie, obviously, is incredibly interested in how Eric got cured, but Eric can’t spill the details. It’s just like those Bush’s Best Baked Beans commercials. Exactly like that. Eric promises he’ll be back the next night.

Sookie, never deterred, drives herself down to Fangtasia. The Yakuza isn’t so fond of unexpected guests, so they march her in to see Eric and Mr. Gus (Will Yun Lee). Eric tries to play it off like Sookie is some delusional fangbanger, and then he pretends to glamour her. While pretending to be glamoured, she hears Mr. Gus think about whatever he has in the basement, which is just the information she needs. She heads back through the convenient Underground Railroad back entrance to find Sarah Newlin chained up in the basement. Even though Sarah is the cure, Sookie is not risking her getting free and causing any more damage.

Instead, she brings Bill and Jessica back to Fangtasia to drink straight from the source. Just as he’s about to sink his fangs in, he decides he doesn’t want to live any longer.

What? Huh? This show, you guys. With two episodes left, will Bill have yet another change of heart?


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