HOW TO HAVE AN ALMOST SORTA HAPPY V-DAY
Whether a love affair just fizzled or you've been flying solo for
eons, these 10 suggestions may keep you from totally falling apart on February
14.
OPEN YOUR BLACK HEART
If you want to get militant about your singledom and say crap like
"No longer shall we suffer to be the hapless prey of Cupid or the pawns of
St. Valentine," do a little research and find a Black Hearts anti-Valentine's
Day party in your neck of the woods.
EAT YOUR FEELINGS
No one buying you chocolates and cookies this year? Buy 'em your
damn self to complement your inevitable alcohol consumption. If you're going to
indulge anyhow, you might as well get the good stuff and support gay-owned
businesses like NYC's Schmackary's and L.A.'s Compartés Chocolatier — which is
now selling artisan chocolate hearts hand-studded with spices, nuts, and
fruits. Mmm... fruity.
RENT A BAD ROMANCE
Instead of dusting off your tear-streaked DVDs of Brokeback
Mountain and that random indie from the 1997 LGBT festival circuit, Netflix the
newly released Keep the Lights On, the Dorian Award-winning modern love story
that'll remind you why gay relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be.
MAKE A SAD PLAYLIST
Because sometimes it's nice to wallow, create a new iPod playlist —
or even an old-school mixtape — of moody gay singer-songwriters who sing
depressing songs about gay heartbreak and general gay misery. Think Jay
Brannan, Matt Morris, Rufus Wainwright, and Frank Ocean in a pinch.
CURL UP WITH A GOOD BOOK
Miss Jackie Collins can provide a temporary escape from your
loneliness with her latest novel, The Power Trip, another soapy thriller about
rich, spoiled, beautiful people — this time including a gay Latin singing
sensation and his older English boyfriend.
FEEL LIKE LESS OF A FREAK
Ugh, let's see what's on TV on the night of Feb. 14... oh, the
series premiere of AMC's Freakshow, a reality show about the eccentric family
of freaks who work the Venice Beach Boardwalk. That'll do.
BE BITTER AND VENGEFUL
Get an adorable Voodoo doll on Etsy and concentrate on the last guy
who did you wrong and left you single — as you stab that tiny whore through the
heart.
BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING PRETTY
May we suggest sexy underwear? Feel both desirable and current in
Calvin Klein Concepts, David Beckham H&M bodywear, or those Rated M
man-panties Mario Lopez is so freakin’ proud of — in red, of course.
MAKE A LAST-MINUTE LOVE CONNECTION
Wipe those tears, tweak those profile pics, and try your luck on the
newly redesigned Gay.com.
ENJOY ADULT ENTERTAINMENT
Yup. Porn. Any questions?
Thanks for the tips! This is my first lonely V-Day in a while :(
ReplyDelete-_Cogito
Blackisbootyful.blogspot.com
Sorry to hear that, you and your guy was doing so well.
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