But, all jokes
aside, nudes are about a lot more than raking in the desirability points. Nudes
can be an empowering act of rebellion. Nudes have a deeper role than fulfilling
desires or sating large egos. It’s pretty much a radical act these days, as is
reclaiming anything society deems unacceptable or has stolen.
With speedy
cloud networks making it easy to name and shame the faces behind naked pics,
reframing nudes as a normal thing for of-age folks to share is important. Even
more so for marginalized people who cross over into vulnerable identities.
So this is our
hot take: Yes, taking nudes is a radical act of defiance.
No, it’s not just about being sexy. It’s about saying, “I am my own and no one
else’s.” (OK, that’s pretty sexy.)
A get-real
guide to smart nudes
Taking a naked
photo of yourself may seem straightforward, but it’s not as simple as turning
on your front-facing camera. You have to be aware of the political,
technological, and personal effects sending that quick nude can have on you.
Here are five
considerations to help you decide whether you’re taking nudes you really need.
1. Are you seeing your body from your own POV?
Before you
turn on the camera, ask yourself: Who am I taking this for? If you’re feeling a
little on edge while taking and sending (solicited) nudes, you might want to
think about whether there’s a voice saying this is bad behavior.
Real talk:
It’s not — but society sure makes an effort to
signal that you’re a bad person for doing it.
And that’s
because, without a solid relationship with yourself and your sexuality, you may
see your naked body through a male-dominated gaze. This means you think about
your body in terms of how it pleases “the man.”
Let’s talk
about how womxn who take selfies for themselves are seen as “shallow” or
“conceited,” but when they do it for a presumed male partner, it’s seen as an
offering in the relationship. Why? Because of the flipping male gaze.
We’re all
conditioned to downplay our desires as a service to others. Even if you don’t
have a partner, this can still come out in self-criticism. Even if a photo is
snapped unintentionally, society removes the agency and self-determination from
us.
I mean, don’t
you want to feel good about a nude pic because it’s wholly you?
Remember: Once
someone has your nudes, it doesn’t mean they own them — or that nudes
are meant only to make them… happy.
You don’t have
to share a single nude photo of yourself, even if you’ve taken a thousand! And
if you do, it’s not an invitation for dominance or comments (unless you
explicitly say you want them (in which case, carry on).
Expanding our
relationship to nudes and opening up the possibility for them to be used in an
open, inclusive, mindful way means that we shift this gaze culture for all.
Yes, men as well.
So examining why
you taking nudes — and having an answer — is really the first step.
2. Are you ready to really, really own your nudes?
The way we’ve
communicated about nudes has been wrong for so long. From the plague of
unsolicited dick pics to “revenge porn” and sharing of pictures without
consent, almost all of it has been in a negative light.
Understanding
consent is the second step to sharing nudes. Whenever nudes are taken,
forwarded, or sent, there has to be explicit consent from everyone involved.
In fact,
writer Miles Klee explored exactly what sharing a nude really entails. For a
“MEL” magazine article, “The Great Solicited Dick Pic Experiment,” he sent dick pics
to “anyone over the age of 18 that directly asked for it.”
“When we only
know someone as their avatar, posts and selfies, we’re naturally intrigued
about the rest — not only what’s under their clothes but how they are,
what it’s like to know them in real life,” he writes. “Nudity can arouse or
titillate, of course, but I’ve long believed that the urge to mentally undress
people doesn’t derive from sheer horniness; we have such over-mediated ideas
about what the body can or should be that it’s a relief to see the ordinariness
of a human form existing in space, without filter.”
Part of
understanding consent around nude photos is understanding that it’s not just a
naked picture. It’s an intimate way of knowing someone. And when you think
about it that way, consent is a really big deal. Showing yourself is a
big deal. Are you ready?
3. Whose permission are you waiting for?
Yeah, it might
seem unsexy to get political about nudes, but we have to think about the ways
nudes are constantly used to punish certain types of people.
If you’re a
Black person, particularly darker-skinned, you may face harsher burdens of just
trying to exist in the public eye. If you identify as fat or a person of size,
queer, disabled, etc., and those qualities are visible in your photos, they
might get used against you when you send them.
For the same
reasons society deems a person unfit to be a celebrity or be on the cover of a
magazine, it will also say who can and can’t take nudes.
And to unpack
why this affects us, we’ve got to talk desirability politics. Yeah, it’s a
hefty term, but this structure is what tells marginalized people whether they
can take nudes.
You might see
desirability politics show up in other forms of policing and internalized
self-hatred, but they are often rooted in this desire to protect oneself from
the effects of oppression that society places on people because of their
identities.
Desirability
politics can often come up as a misguided form of self-protection. And you may
already be familiar with what that looks like without even knowing it. For
example, if a queer person of color posts a nude and the reaction is that they
should hide it, that’s desirability politics at work.
The downside
is that even if you understand this, it won’t block the harmful effects of when
someone believes you can or can’t take nudes.
So, let’s be
clear — there is only one rule to nudes: Anyone (over
the age of 18!) has the power to deem themselves nude-appropriate. Why? Because
everyone has the right to feel empowered, sexy, and desirable in their own
skin.
Nudes also
aren’t used only to be sexual. They can be an important act of self-love, of
reclaiming our individual feelings of how to view ourselves, independent of
outward forces.
When taking
nudes, be mindful that the reasons for taking them can vary greatly from person
to person. Your personal reasons don’t overrule someone else’s personal
reasons.
No, really.
When was the last time you allowed yourself to ask this question?
In my work as
a sex educator, I see this come up a lot for people, and overcoming it can
bring up a whole slew of emotions.
But sexiness
isn’t just about how you look. It’s a state of mind, an embodiment of feelings
and emotions, and a state of being. It goes beyond how we look or present.
Just as you
would before having partnered sex, is there a way to set the mood for yourself
before taking the nude photo?
Maybe it’s
lighting some candles, spraying on your favorite fragrance, playing a really
sexy Spotify playlist, wearing something that makes you feel desirable, and
gazing at yourself in the mirror. These are all things that can put you in the
right frame of mind to take nudes so that when it comes time to shed those
layers, you feel more than ready.
There are also
plenty of online resources on lighting and angles if body confidence is a
concern for you. Don’t be afraid to take multiple shots, trying different poses
and experimenting with facial expressions.
5. Did you (digitally) protect yourself?
Now that we’ve
gotten the lessons on life and lighting out of the way, here’s one of the most
important parts of the game: understanding digital safety and what it looks
like for you, especially if you have these nude photos saved online.
Thankfully,
resources exist online to help you navigate these issues.
One such
resource that everyone should use is “A Sexy Guide to Digital Security” by SaferNudesNG. This is
a handy guide for how to take aesthetically pleasing nudes that integrates
digital safety and protecting your privacy online. “Encrypyt Your Nudes” by feminist collective Tech Witches
also delves into the importance of encryption when it comes to something as
vulnerable as nudes online.
Saving your
nudes onto encrypted sources, not photographing your face, hiding tattoos or
other identifying marks… these are all things you can do to further protect
yourself, but they’re not foolproof.
The moment
anything personal goes online, there will be an associated risk with
safety, identity, and exposure. It’s also important to know your state’s laws
and regulations so you know what protections you have in case you need legal
recourse.
While they may
have a bad rep, nudes aren’t something to be afraid of. Taking photos of
yourself is not vain in the slightest — and in a capitalist, white-supremacist
society, it’s important to know that we can deem ourselves whatever we
want to be. “Sexy” included.
SOURCE: GREATIST
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