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Thursday, September 17, 2015

HAVING SEX WITH A NEW GUY FOR THE FIRST TIME WITHOUT A CONDOM & THE "BUT HE LOVES ME" DILEMMA

Many people have been debating about the pros and cons of having sex without a condom. The matter recently came up when having a chat with my friend that I had not seen for some time. He told me he had met someone online to whom he felt really connected and after 5 months of chatting, exchanging many pictures and several background checks they told each other that they loved each other. It all sounded okay until he said they haven’t met in person yet, and he was going to meet for a few weeks and they wanted to have a first sexual experience without a condom.

I raised an eyebrow and asked him if he thought that was wise. He confessed he was not comfortable with the idea but he went on about how much they love each other and how they decided they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. Plus, he was clean, and the online guy told him he's been tested for Many STD's including HIV and was clean as well.

I expressed my concern for this situation and recommend that he to get to know this guy as a person before putting his life in his hands. Sure he says he's "clean" but why take that chance? HIV is nothing to play with. 

I'm always weary of anyone that asks not to use a condom on the first run (or the second, or third, or...). If someone's asked you, chances are he's asked others- and there were probably many guys who said yes. A ton of guys have also fallen into the "but he loves me" trap only to end up alone taking a cocktail of meds. If both want to have sex without a condom, both should get tested together before having sex. And even after the results come back, I suggest the used of condoms for at least another 6 weeks (remember, a test today doesn't cover 3 to 6 weeks of exposure).

Though there HIV is not the death sentence it once was, it still pays to ensure safe sex and love go hand in hand.

1 comment:

  1. I'll still use a condom rather he says he got test before and turn out negative or he says that he's clean.

    ReplyDelete

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