I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Monday, August 20, 2012


Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals, but
not others? If you aren't sure, you are far from alone in your
confusion. It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people
are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or
fail. The intuitive answer — that you are born predisposed to certain
talents and lacking in others — is really just one small piece of the
puzzle. In fact, decades of research on achievement suggests that
successful people reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.

1. Get specific. When
you set yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible. "Lose 5
pounds" is a better goal than "lose some weight," because it gives you a
clear idea of what success looks like. Knowing exactly what you want to
achieve keeps you motivated until you get there. Also, think about the
specific actions that need to be taken to reach your goal. Just
promising you'll "eat less" or "sleep more" is too vague — be clear and
precise. "I'll be in bed by 10pm on weeknights" leaves no room for
doubt about what you need to do, and whether or not you've actually done

2. Seize the moment to act on your goals. Given how busy most
of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it's not
surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because
we simply fail to notice them. Did you really have no time to work out
today? No chance at any point to return that phone call? Achieving your
goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through
your fingers.

To seize the moment, decide when and where you will take each action you want to take,
in advance. Again, be as specific as possible (e.g., "If it's Monday,
Wednesday, or Friday, I'll work out for 30 minutes before work.")
Studies show that this kind of planning will help your brain to detect
and seize the opportunity when it arises, increasing your chances of
success by roughly 300%.

3. Know exactly how far you have left to go.
Achieving any goal also requires honest and regular monitoring of your
progress — if not by others, then by you yourself. If you don't know how
well you are doing, you can't adjust your behavior or your strategies
accordingly. Check your progress frequently — weekly, or even daily,
depending on the goal.

4. Be a realistic optimist. When you are setting a goal, by all
means engage in lots of positive thinking about how likely you are to
achieve it. Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful
for creating and sustaining your motivation. But whatever you do, don't
underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal. Most goals
worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and persistence. Studies
show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly
leaves you ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly
increases the odds of failure. 

5. Focus on getting better, rather than being good. Believing you have the ability to reach your goals is important, but so is believing you can get the
ability. Many of us believe that our intelligence, our personality, and
our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no matter what we do, we won't
improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are all about proving
ourselves, rather than developing and acquiring new skills.

Fortunately, decades of research suggest that the belief in fixed
ability is completely wrong — abilities of all kinds are profoundly
malleable. Embracing the fact that you can change will allow you to make
better choices, and reach your fullest potential. People whose goals
are about getting better, rather than being good, take difficulty in
stride, and appreciate the journey as much as the destination.

6. Have grit. Grit is a willingness to commit to long-term
goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty. Studies show that
gritty people obtain more education in their lifetime, and earn higher
college GPAs. Grit predicts which cadets will stick out their first
grueling year at West Point. In fact, grit even predicts which round
contestants will make it to at the Scripps National Spelling Bee.

The good news is, if you aren't particularly gritty now, there is
something you can do about it. People who lack grit more often than not
believe that they just don't have the innate abilities successful
people have. If that describes your own thinking .... well, there's no
way to put this nicely: you are wrong. As I mentioned earlier, effort,
planning, persistence, and good strategies are what it really takes to
succeed. Embracing this knowledge will not only help you see yourself
and your goals more accurately, but also do wonders for your grit.

7. Build your willpower muscle. Your self-control
"muscle" is just like the other muscles in your body — when it doesn't
get much exercise, it becomes weaker over time. But when you give it
regular workouts by putting it to good use, it will grow stronger and
stronger, and better able to help you successfully reach your goals. 
To build willpower, take on a challenge that requires you to do
something you'd honestly rather not do. Give up high-fat snacks, do 100
sit-ups a day, stand up straight when you catch yourself slouching, try
to learn a new skill. When you find yourself wanting to give in, give
up, or just not bother — don't. Start with just one activity, and make a
plan for how you will deal with troubles when they occur ("If I have a
craving for a snack, I will eat one piece of fresh or three pieces of
dried fruit.") It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier,
and that's the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on
more challenges and step-up your self-control workout.

8. Don't tempt fate. No matter how strong your
willpower muscle becomes, it's important to always respect the fact that
it is limited, and if you overtax it you will temporarily run out of
steam. Don't try to take on two challenging tasks at once, if you can
help it (like quitting smoking and dieting at the same time). And don't
put yourself in harm's way — many people are overly-confident in their
ability to resist temptation, and as a result they put themselves in
situations where temptations abound. Successful people know not to make
reaching a goal harder than it already is. 

9. Focus on what you will do, not what you won't do.
Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or put a lid on
your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good
ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. Research
on thought suppression (e.g., "Don't think about white bears!") has
shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your
mind. The same holds true when it comes to behavior — by trying not to
engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken. 

If you want to change your ways, ask yourself, What will I do
instead? For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper
and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like "If I am
starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm
down." By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your
anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears
It is my hope that, after reading about the nine things successful
people do differently, you have gained some insight into all the things
you have been doing right all along. Even more important, I hope are
able to identify the mistakes that have derailed you, and use that
knowledge to your advantage from now on. Remember, you don't need to
become a different person to become a more successful one. It's never
what you are, but what you do.


Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. is a motivational psychologist, and author of the new book Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals (Hudson
Street Press, 2011). She is also an expert blogger on motivation and
leadership for Fast Company and Psychology Today. Her personal blog,
The Science of Success, can be found at Follow her on Twitter @hghalvorson


When I look at this season of True
, I think of the time my mother, sister, and I were the only ones
riding a Tilt-A-Whirl at a county fair in Pennsylvania. The operator of the
ride worked the controls to maximize our spinning. I choose to believe he did
that because he thought we'd enjoy it, not so I would get pinned to the back of
my seat and wouldn't be able to breathe and my mother would get so sick she'd
end up missing most of the concert we were there to see later that night. The True
writers had good intentions, I'm sure, when they separated the show's
characters this season: the actors would be serviced with their individual
story lines and fans would have more arcs to ponder. But really, it's felt like
we've been spinning in a circle when we'd rather have just headed in one direction.
With this episode, the story lines finally started to merge. Is it just in time
or too little too late? Let's dig in.

the Authority HQ, Bill heard his called, and it led him to the Room O'
Lilith. After some of her shrieking, she appeared in all her bloody, naked
glory. “Only one can lead us. I choose you,” she said. “Drink the blood. Drink
it all.” He wouldn’t do it. Why, I'm not sure. She shrieked again, and she was
gone. Only a bloody hand print was left on the glass case that housed her
blood. Bored now, Lilith. Nora, meanwhile, was having flashbacks to spirit
Godric's message about Lilith being a Godless god before Lilith killed him.
Salome thought Nora might be having doubts, but Nora assured her she
wasn't. Salome kissed Nora's forehead, and Nora pulled her in for a real
kiss. The look on Nora’s face as she walked away told us she'd done that
so Salome would think her loyal.

is the name of the game at the Authority. Jessica wanted to borrow Bill’s phone
to warn Jason that Newlin is on the loose with Russell. And Sookie, too. Bill
told Jessica his belief in Lilith has allowed him to see Sookie, Jason, and the
others in Bon Temps as food only. Jessica told him she’d make Jason a
vampire because the vampire Bible says the greatest gift you can give a human
is to turn them and it'd be good for her and Jason's relationship. Bill's less
easily fooled than Nora. He called her on it. He ordered two men to fly her to
Bon Temps in a helicopter so she could sire Jason immediately. How could he
require other vamps to become makers and not her? Someone needs to kick Bill
square in the nuts.

Cut to Eric. He’d do! Eric, looking
tired and/or hungry, was pacing in his deep-purple decorated room, which is
definitely preferable to Bill and Salome’s loud red suite. Nora came to him,
and they embraced. Then the clothes started to come off. She straddled him on
the bed and begged “Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me” as they started to have
sex. “What are we gonna do?” she asked. “I’ll get us out of here,” Eric said,
and flipped her over onto the bed in vamp speed. So... that felt like a strange
time to have sex, right? I have two theories: 1) If anyone was listening in on
their conversation, they wanted it to be harder to decipher through the moans.
2) When you’re feeling that alone and hopeless and find someone who’s
finally on
your side again, you want to feel that close to them, for both momentary
comfort and distraction. I didn’t expect we’d have time for another sex scene
in the show with all the wars raging, so I’ll take it.

General Cavanaugh, with whom
Roman had been working on mainstreaming for 20 years, came to the Authority because
Roman had been ducking his calls. At first, they didn’t tell him Roman was
gone. Cavanaugh said the government knew it was the Authority who’d bombed the
Tru Blood factories, and there were now high level talks at the Pentagon about
how to eradicate vamps from the face of the planet.

Cavanaugh was then told the truth
about Roman and the new regime. His thoughts: “You psychotic bloodsuckers.” He
remained calm because he had something on them: video of Russell and Newlin
eviscerating 22 frat boys. If anything happens to him, that video goes wide, he
said. The government was prepared for this revolt. It has weapons they’ve never
seen. He started to leave, and Eric caught up to him. He snapped his neck. The
plan: Eric would go on a glamouring campaign and erase all memory of the tape
even existing. Nora said she knew the general’s chief of staff, so if they
acted quickly, they could contain the situation. Salome told them to go. Bill
looked suspicious and said they should take a security detail for back up. Damn
you, Bill!

that was going down, Sookie and Jason decided she’d stay at the Moulin Rouge,
where she was safe from Warlow, and he went back to Bon Temps. Jessica and
Bill’s men were waiting outside his house. She tried to hint that he should just
go along with whatever she was saying, but he wasn’t catching on. One of the
men said he'd turn Jason if she didn't. She told Jason to trust her, and she
bit. When we came back to them, Jessica and Jason were lying in a grave
and the two men were shoveling dirt on them. Jessica apologized to an
unconscious Jason and told him he’d wake up a vampire. As the men discussed
whether they should pick up takeout on their way back, Jessica whispered “Do
it,” and Jason shot them each with a wooden bullet. Excellent splatter!

Jessica gave Jason a barebones
explanation, and wanted him to know that if she had to spend eternity with
someone at this point, it would be him. He didn’t have time to deal with
that. He had to go warn Sookie about Russell and Newlin. Jessica needed to
run, too. I was thinking she had to go to Pam. For starters, it brings
these story lines back together -- FINALLY. And really, Jessica has no one
else. Plus, she has that information on Eric's whereabouts to bargain with. But
was there a worse place for her to hide than Eric’s bar, where an
Authority-appointed sheriff had just been killed?

When we caught up with Eric and Nora,
they were in the backseat of an SUV being driven by two men. Eric asked if the
men minded if he changed the radio station. When he leaned up between them to
do that, he staked them both. Blood everywhere on the windshield! It’s as if
the show is trying to make up for Roman’s disappointing ick factor when he met
the true death. You’re not forgiven yet. Keep it coming. Before Eric and Nora
flew the scene -- literally -- Nora ripped off her Authority necklace, and Eric
smiled the happiest smile ever. The red light turned green. Go time. That was
the last we saw them. Where were they headed? To check on Sookie? (Will they be
what stops Russell from feeding on the faerie strippers in the finale?)

Sookie was introduced to
the Faerie Elder, the oldest faerie to escape through the
portal. She’s been through so many realms, taking so many forms and talking so
many languages, that she can’t focus. She was like my three-year-old niece
dancing on that stage, so it was fitting that Sookie bowed to her like a child.
“Ke$ha, for or against?” she asked Sookie, who said she doesn’t know her music
well enough to have an opinion. Anyway, the Elder knew John Stackhouse, who she
said was a land owner and "a bit of a creep." Sookie asked if she
knew why John would have made that deal with Warlow. “John Cougar Mellencamp.
For or against?” Against, Sookie said. (Why? That I would have liked explored.)

Elder said there was a reason why Sookie “sluts” her heart out to any cute guy
with fangs. The Elder’s, Sookie’s, and Warlow’s destinies are intertwined, she
said. A dark time is coming, and Sookie would be tested. She told Sookie to
hold onto her light. As long as faeries control their light, they’ll be free.
“Boyz II Men, for or against?” the Elder asked. For, Sookie said. (Correct
answer.) The Elder was possibly about to tell Sookie something important about
Warlow when they heard Jason screaming for Sookie. He was pulled into the
Moulin Rouge and told Sookie that Russell and Newlin were coming for her, and
Bill and Eric had found vampire religion and wouldn’t save her. The Elder
freaked out that Russell was still alive.

At Merlotte’s, Holly was working at
least. When Andy came in to get his breakfast to go, she took him to a booth
where her sons were sitting. One apologized for putting his butt on Facebook
and said Andy was making his mom happier than their father ever had, so he was
going to give him a chance. The other wasn’t ready to forgive Andy for making
him need therapy. Andy sat down and promised the kids he’d do right by their
mother for as long as she’d have him. They each shook his hand, though they
denied him a fist bump and a high-five. Good for Andy! You knew it wouldn't
last though...

Over at Alcide’s dad’s trailer,
Alcide was outside doing some form of nondescript manual labor that required
him to be shirtless. A man named Robert Rollins, who hadn’t seen
Alcide since he was a pup, came to warn them that baby vamps are forming packs
to hunt and they’re headed their way. Alcide’s dad wasn’t worried. They’re
putting up a silver-plated fence. Ah, that’s why Alcide was hitting an axe into
the ground, to loosen it. We found out Alcide believes his dad was kicked
out of his pack because he stole money from it. Why? What did he use it for? Do
we even care? No, not yet. But at least Alcide got pissed off enough to go back
to using his axe.

Back at the Moulin Rouge, Sookie,
still being shot from the chest up to avoid Anna Paquin’s baby bump, was trying
to convince the faeries that after Russell came for her, he’d come for them, so
they better fight together now. Maurella said it would be suicide, but the
Elder said they had to do it anyway. Back in the field, Jason was ready to do
whatever his part entailed. As QB1, he learned that the best defense was a good
offense -- it’s game time, he said. Shooting Sookie from the chest up or back
only was fairly distracting in that scene, but the desperation and determination
in Jason’s eyes fought to keep you in the moment.

Back at Merlotte’s again, Lafayette
and Arlene were working the lunch shift. Terry and Arlene were all lovey-dovey,
so I guess everything is totally cool now that he’s killed Patrick and the Ifrit
is gone. Sure, why not. Let’s pretend it never happened. Andy, of course, was
asking them how they make love last when Maurella walked in to reveal she was
pregnant. She said Andy had sworn to protect her and their offspring. He
apparently accepted her light into him, which is why she slept with him --
twice. He told her about Holly and that he’d feel more comfortable with someone
in his own species. She said to ignore the “light pact” would bring great
dishonor to her and her clan -- and it’s an act of war. FATAL ATTRACTION! My
new theory: Maurella doesn't want faeries to help Sookie or humans with their
vamp problems. She saw the dark times coming and used Andy: Now she can argue
Andy's abandonment of her is an excuse to let humans fight their own battles.

At Fangtasia, Jessica filled Pam and
Tara in more on Authority HQ, and Pam said she was describing nest behavior.
Vamps who live together and feed on each other’s blood become sadistic and
crazy. Drinking Lilith’s blood made them a nest on steroids. Pam said she
wasn’t worried about Eric. Jessica thanked her for letting her stay there.
“Totally,” Pam said. “Maybe later we can braid each other’s hair and talk about
boys. F---in’ baby vamps,” she quipped, walking away. That was a fantastic
scene that followed between Tara and Jessica -- they were behaving just like
teenagers, which Jessica probably is still. Jessica asked if Tara “liked” Pam
romantically, and Tara may have protested a bit too much. She said it would
never happen. Jessica and Tara's friendship just might be back on track now
that Jessica admitted again she has no one to talk to and that she likes
talking to Tara. Even if Tara goes crazy and kicks her ass every now and again
she’ll heal because she’s a vamp, Jessica pointed out. Tara offered to bring
her a fangbanger later. FRIENDS!

Rosalyn came into Fangtasia, checked
out a young man (a 
Cougar Town nod, perhaps?), and told Tara
she was looking for her progeny, Elijah. Tara tried to say he came in the night
before, they paid their taxes, and he left, but Rosalyn knew better. She could
smell his blood on Tara. A maker always knows when her progeny dies, she said.
He was one of 204, but it’s still like a cold spike in your heart. Pam had
forbidden Tara, as her maker, to talk about Elijah's death again. So when Pam
told Rosalyn that 
she did it, Tara could only watch as Rosalyn
had the guards arrest Pam. (She did that to get near Eric, right?) Stupid
Jessica wasn’t in her coffin. She was sneaking a peek from behind the door, and
Rosalyn smelled her. “Your daddy’s lookin’ for you,” she said.

Back at the Authority, Lilith was
waiting for Bill in his bedroom. “Only one can lead us. I choose you,” she said
again. “I’m not worthy,” he said, kneeling. “Drink of me. Drink all of me,” she
said. She put her bloody fingers on his lips. I hate you, Bill.

Happier thoughts: Alcide was busy
watching a Campbell’s soup can turn in the microwave like he was a little kid
again. Three baby vamps were at the gate, just learning about their healing
powers. He could tell they were headed to another trailer, so Alcide got a
shotgun and was off to play the hero. Next we saw them, the baby vamps were
rocking this woman’s trailer as through they were in Once Bitten or Buffy
the Vampire Slayer
 the movie. Alcide shot one, and it exploded. “When
we die, we’re goo?” another said, truly horrified. Ha. The third baby vamp and
the 'goo' guy attacked Alcide. He handled himself pretty well. His shirt
started coming undone, so I was willing to let this go on for awhile. But
Alcide’s dad showed up with a crossbow and took out the guy vamp before the
girl vamp could bite Alcide’s neck. She escaped. Alcide’s hair was all messy,
and he looked 14 again. His dad’s not a total dick! Hooray!

Back to Jason, he was standing guard
outside Sookie’s house when Russell showed up, then Newlin, to make a “Hunk
sandwich.” They asked where Sookie was, and Russell glamoured Jason into
telling him. That was the game plan all along: Have Jason lead them to the
faeries, who were ready for them.

and Luna's plan to free Emma ran into some problems. They made it to the
cells, which were full of naked humans. They found Emma, who was caged in pup
form, and Luna told her not to shift. When the guards came, Sam wanted he and
Luna to shift and bolt, but she wouldn’t leave Emma again. When Sam heard
“Chancellor Compton” was requesting his breakfast, he volunteered to go.

Bill meanwhile, was on his way to
visit bottle o’ Lilith, and when he arrived, he saw Kibwe kneeling to worship.
He said Lilith had chosen him. Bill beheaded him and said Lilith had chosen

Pam passed Sam on her way to the
cells, and they asked what the f--- each other was doing there. Hilarious.
Apparently the guards were taking Sam the long way to Bill, because Bill had
time to meet with Jessica after he washed Kibwe’s blood off his hands. Bill
demanded to know why she’d chosen a human over two vampires who were under his
command. He sent Jessica flying when she said f--- Lilith (paraphrasing) and
that Pam had told her Bill was in a nest and it’s making him crazy. He stood
over her and said he’s the Chosen One. Cut to Lilith repeating her same schpeel
on Salome elsewhere in the compound. Why would Lilith want them all to kill
each other? Does she need a certain amount of Chancellor blood to flow before
she can fully walk in this world again (and maybe put on some clothes)?

Back in the field, Russell and Newlin
darted around orgasmically as they smelled the faerie in the air. Finally,
Russell grabbed Jason and said he’d tear him apart if Sookie didn’t show
herself. Sookie wanted them to all go. Instead, the Elder went out. Newlin
charged her, and she zapped him away. “Impressive. You are turbocharged,”
Russell said. She said she was banishing Russell to the “realms and beyond,”
but when she threw her light, Russell made sure it hit Jason instead, and Jason
went flying. I guess she couldn’t recharge quick enough. Russell drank from her
and she withered, then dissolved into sparks. “Sweet merciful f---, that was
delicious,” Russell said. “Heaven, thy name is faerie.” I thought maybe the
Elder had planned to be a martyr when she heard Russell was still around and
laced her blood with something. Probably not. I doubt she'd want him to be able
to see the entrance to the Moulin Rouge and all the faeries crowded inside.
“Why, thank you so much,” Russell said. “I’d love to come to dinner.” He darted
toward them, and the credits rolled.

Your turn. What did you think of the
episode? What excites you most about next week's season finale? Seeing Jason go
all Rambo is the reason I'll tune in.



Keyshia Cole
Enough Of No Love lyrics 
is the first single from her new album
"Woman to Woman". "Enough of No Love" features rapper Lil'

[Keyshia Cole]
I admit that you almost had me
I admit I was almost crazy
Had me thinking 'bout calling that b-tch at night
and let her know where she can come and meet me
But it's cool i'mma be a lady
She think she cute but she don't phase me
And if you knew about all this good love you'll be
missing out on you wouldn't, uh, played me!

Can't say I'm not hurt
I'd be damned if I'm broken
What we had is now hers
Let her know she can have it

Cause I-I-I can't stay here, it ain't, there's no
Yeah I-I-I can't stay here, 'cause I've had enough
Enough of no love, enough of no love
No love!

And I admit that I thought about creeping
So you could get a dose of how I feel
Cause our hearts can never seem to break even
But what's the use I rather pack it up and leave
Cause here we are again, cause you're wrong again

You're trying to tell me that you love me
But your actions say another thing

Can't say I'm not hurt
I'd be damned if I'm broken
What we had is now hers
Let her know she can have it

Cause I-I-I can't stay here, it ain't, there's no
Yeah I-I-I can't stay here, 'cause I've had enough
Enough of no love, enough of no love
No love!

[Lil' Wayne]
Why you worried 'bout that other hoe
Cause that other hoe aint worried bout another hoe
Yeah, you say it's over, but you still fussin'
You just clumsy, always trippin' over nothing
That other bitch is just that other bitch
I give her space, and give you the mothership
You can let her tell you what we with
I told you if you ride it out, i'll be your
In sickness, and in health, for rich, poor, and I
stay rich
Love is a bitch, and bitches aint shit
And i'm riding with a girl named keyshia
Smoking on Keisha

Cause I-I-I can't stay here, it ain't, there's no
Yeah I-I-I can't stay here, 'cause I've had enough
Enough of no love
Cause I-I-I can't stay here, it ain't, there's no

Keyshia Cole Enough Of No Love lyrics found on DIRECT LYRICS 


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